"The Gentile Knot" by Zayan Sechel, November 2011
Disclaimer: All characters presented here are product of a fiction. Any resemblance to real characters is of a pure coincidence. No intention was made to insult anyone for any reason.
AN: This story is an act of fiction. No one is should attempt to act in the same manner as described.
Summary: And God shall scatter you among all the peoples from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth... (Deuteronomy 28:64).
The Gentile Knot
Hi. My name is Jacob Simcha. At the age of thirty three I have found out that my origins are of some lost Jewish tribe that, apparently, has never been recorded.
At first I couldn't believe that my findings were true. After all, I was not a practitioner of Judaism and my parents belong to Christianity, some of my relatives joining the Mormons as well. But when Professor Edgar Simon, microbiologist at Pervue University examined my DNA, he chuckled.
What?, I grinned suspiciously, looking around the lab.
Well … if someone wanted to hide you better, he couldn't have done it!
Is it something to do with my DNA traits perhaps?, I was still on the guard for any possible anti Semitic meddling. Although I was not raised in the Jewish tradition, I never really wished to offend anyone.
See here …, professor pointed with his red laser beam at the map of Europe and Africa, enlarging Y chromosome markers of the various DNA pictures. Each picture corresponded to a particular geographic area. You have a modified Cohen Modal Hapoltype.
And that would be ..., I grinned even more thinking of some fast food restaurant that would fulfill my inner cravings.
The standard genetic signature of the Jewish priestly family, professor chimed as if reciting on some pedestal. I felt a bit uneasy, almost as if he WANTED something from me. But! Look here! He pressed another button on the computer and the enlarged pictures of the mitochondria corresponding to particular geographic trait was portrayed. He pointed with his red laser beam at more oval mitochondria of the Balkan region. I felt itchy in the area where my elbows usually bend and scratched the arteries, feeling almost as if someone struck some invisible needle into my arm. Germanic tribes have more oval mitochondria and it is usually bigger than those found among the Jews. There was a stance and I listened to the humming of the projector, wondering when will someone burst into the lab and ruin the romantic semi darkness. So ..., he smiled at me and I smiled back laconically, still feeling that "invisible needle" in my vein, ... let me show you the possible route of your ancestry. He pressed yet another button on the computer and the geographic map of East Mediterranean Sea appeared. After the Exodus from Egypt … your ancestors somehow got stuck around the lake of Az Zaraniq in Egypt, eventually fleeing to the islands just north of the area. Map was too crude to notice the details. However …, he pressed another button and there was some Pharaonic scriptures on the screen, … since I wondered how come your family is not Jewish and how come there is nor record of your past, I found this marvelous "Ipuwer Papyrus" and the book of Exodus …
Professor went on and on I eventually almost fell asleep, getting even more hungry and lulled at the same time by his monotone voice.
Eventually I thanked him and then to the Public Library. Having an access to the Internet, I dug some more details about my past and realized that I was among the few unlucky Jews that were stranded on the island just north of Zaraniq area of north-east Egypt when the Minoan eruption of Thera, or one similar to it, flooded the island, making my great-great-great ancestor drift on some primitive raft towards the island of Santorini. But, even after a generation or so lived in relative peace, another volcano eruption in the Aegean Island of Thera occurred, leaving my great-great ancestor drift towards Turkey.
To cut the long story short, from Turkey, my ancestors moved to Macedonia, then, after probably being drafted in the Turkish Empire's Army, moved to Bosnia. There, apparently, there was some mixing with "the Tuatha de Danaan" Celtic tribes which, via some gypsy routes made my ancestors move to Paris, France.
But, since "the Tuatha de Danaan" trait was still strong within my ancestors, my great-great-great grandfather moved to Ireland, then to my utter astonishment Greenland, ending eventually in Utah, today's U.S.A.
All in all, my ancestors were driven even by the Jews from their warm hearths, ending at some almost inaccessible places, trying to survive the hardships of the history. But, despite all those tumults, my family managed to survive!
I was proud in a way realizing that I could be among those of 144 000 rare "Jewish specimens" that still dwell unrecorded for some unknown reason. Professor Edgar Simon laughed when he received the e-mail of the calculated probability ratio from his colleague, Professor Maas Hasheim. And he noted that this number may not necessarily be a coincidence with the number from the Biblical Book of Revelation.
My spirits high, I have realized that despite of being almost jobless in this hard economic times, I could almost boast of being able to survive through so many wars, natural disasters, diseases and "what nots" of the wild human history.
Then one day, a good friend of mine, Immanuel Velinovsky, invited me at his place to show me some of his own findings.
- The land of ancient Israel was divided into 11 sections …, he pressed a button on the computer keyboard and I wondered who manages to make o many keyboards today. Ah … the 12 sons of Jacob. He examined the arrows, then suddenly remembered he was not alone in the room. Jacob predicted Zebulun would live by the coast. Three of the sons, Reuben, who was the first-born, … then Simeon and Levi were scolded, however …, he looked at my DNA test results, … you don't match ANY of them! He smiled in assurance. Hence … you are the "lost tribe of Israel". I grinned, remembering I had to water aunt Mirabel's plants this afternoon.
- What about Ronald White's findings?, I mused, watching colorful images on the screen, feeling tired again.
- He concurs about the Eruption of the Santorini volcano in the Aegean Island of Thera …, he pressed a button and a picture of the volcano appeared on the computer monitor. Geologists have given such diverse ages between 1638 and 1360 B.C., so yes … it IS possible you have been expelled from the island by a natural catastrophe!. He laughed noticing my open mouth. I closed them. On this island, your great-great ancestors followed some pseudo religion of Jethro's Baal Zephon. And that was probably what saved you from being killed by the locals at the first place. Come to think of it …, he scratched his head, … since you have the Cohen Modal Hapoltype trait in your DNA, it COULD be that your ancestors even DESIGNED the very same religion to keep them safe.
- I still find it strange though that there were no connections with the Israeli tribes at that time? Trade and that sort of thing?
- According to my findings …, he pressed another button, you belonged to the "Lacedemonians" – an insignificant tribe known of some witchcraft and sorcery. But! He winked at me. Look at the etymology … your ancestors could have been doctors as well …
- Some kind of a witch demon healer?, I giggled.
- Yes! Precisely that! During your "Turkey" area period, that is.
- I am still puzzled for my "the Tuatha de Danaan" Y chromosome trait though.
- I've looked at that as well. He pressed another button on a keyboard and a picture of what was believed to present Jesus Christ appeared. Have you heard of the "Holy grail" and the "Holy Blood" mystery?
- Yes, I believe I had.
- Well … your "Y chromosome" resembles those found within that group of investigation.
- You mean … I could have some "noble blood" in me as well?
Ever since that day I felt even more proud of my origins, smiling at every Jew that passed me by, wishing well to all Christian Churches and even making some plans to pay a visit to Israel one day.
Professor Yaakov Kleiman even claimed that I could be the next "Savior" of the Jewish race! I was aghast at that and couldn't sleep for nights after that, imagining what a terrible duty must be to lead the nation of Jews like Moses did. Sometimes I even dreamed of myself being some kind of "desert warrior", fighting for the survival of Israel.
Today, as I aimlessly stroll along the city streets with the standard genetic signature of the Jewish priestly family, I sometimes stop in front of the Synagogue and wonder why my ancestors never continued with their faith in Judaism. But who can truly tell what our Maker planned for each individual soul?