To me

Everyday

Is a struggle

For

Everything

Life, Love, Happiness, Friends

Hatred

Is a daily experience

For me

Can't people see

I just want to have

One moment alone

With her

Without all the stares

Without the gazes

Without people thinking it's something more

Than what it really is

Yeah, so what

I have a person

That I hold dear to me

Yes

Me

The Uncaring, Distant, Sarcastic, Hurtful Person

Everyone Loves to Hate

And because I'm me

People find pleasure

In taking what little I have

And crushing it right in front of my face

Yet everyday

I get up again

I keep going

If only just

To see her face smile at me

Once more

If I give her a present

People take it the wrong way

Yes, I love her

But I won't ever act

Because I'm not right for her

She deserves someone better

Someone who will do something great

Someone who will make her leave my life

Someone who I'll hate forever

But

What does it matter

As long as she's happy

Nothing else matters

My hate will spread

And I'll keep it bottled up inside

With all my other emotions

That only one person at a time

Will ever see

I haven't said anything to her because I'm scared

Not of her rejecting me

No

I could live with that as long as we're still friends

But if I confess

All that will cease

We won't be friends anymore

I won't have a reason to live on

She will leave me behind

She will go on to find someone else

Someone better

I couldn't live with that

I wish

I was stronger

So I could stand on my own

And I guess I could've

If I had never met her

In just ten weeks

She had every single one of my defenses

Crumbling

Leaving me defenseless

So someone could take my heart

In their hands

And do with it as they pleased

At first I hated her for what she did to me

For how I felt around her

I hated how I

Couldn't control my emotions every time I thought about her

But then

I saw that

There was more to life than just sitting by

Watching everyone else move past me

She made me see

That life didn't have to only be pain and sadness

She showed me how to live

How to care again

So now

She has my heart

She holds it in her hands

And

All I can hope for is

That she doesn't leave it broken

Too soon