Prepare yourself. These comebacks are for the HARD CORE.


~The Most Formidable Comebacks in History~

The two greatest comebacks known to man are "I know you are, but what am I?" and "YO FACE."

~I Know You Are, But What Am I?

Of these two comebacks, we will first examine the classic "I know you are, but what am I?" Below, two generic individuals shall demonstrate the proper execution of this technique.

Person #1: You're a jerk!

Person #2: I know you are, but what am I?

Note its effectiveness. Similarly, the "I know I am, but what are you?" is used when 'Person #1' attempts to manipulate the "I know you are, but what am I?"

Person #1: Clumsy oaf!

Person #2: I know you are, but what am I?

Person #1: The most gorgeous, charming, talented individual on the face of the planet.

Person #2: I know I am, but what are you?

However, use of this technique can be dangerous. According to a recent survey, there is a 17% mortality rate when this comeback is used repeatedly within a short time period. Fifteen percent of these deaths are due to 'Person #1' committing suicide, while eighty-five percent of these deaths are the result of 'Person #1' murdering 'Person #2.'

~YO FACE.

Emerging as a popular riposte in the last decade, "YO FACE" is amusing yet breathtakingly simple.

Observe.

Person #1: You're repulsive!

Person #2: YO FACE is repulsive!

Person #1: Get out of my room!

Person #2: Get YO FACE out of the room!

This comeback may be used in any circumstance, with the exception of hostage situations, wedding ceremonies, deathbed confessions, funerals, diplomatic negotiations, and when vacationing in Singapore.


If you have read up to this point, it means I have just wasted a minute or two of your life. Well... have a nice day!

~UIM