One Jump to keep my head by Disneyluver (wriiten when i was disneyluver- BK) Summary: This parody is a satire of "One Jump Ahead" from Disney's Aladdin. It take places at G It is based on the premise that sometimes I open my big mouth or torture people on the weekly outline aka GA or G Announcements, as well and in the long run, lots of students want to see me buried six feet underground. The lines in bold indicate lines by people want to see my head atop of the flagpole. Enjoy! XxX fic is below XxX Disneyluver: Gotta run for it! One jump ahead to keep my head So I tortured a few people G students: A FEW PEOPLE ? Er, a lot of people on the outline, that was all Gotta run for it before people use my head as a soccer ball Stand still evil one! This won't hurt me at all! One jump ahead of the angry mob My neck they wanna choke They don't seem to appreciate my jokes Get her! She's Dead big mouth I get first dibs on her head No I call first dibs It's just a few puns, guys G Students: Those outlines will be your demise I can take a hint and here is the fact Look! Mistletoe right above you! G Students: Huh? (All the couples look up.) I can't believe they feel for the oldest trick in the book! Clair: better run for it Don't have to tell me twice. Suckers! Toodle-loo! G students: AFTER HER! Ahh, what do we have here? It's a very large mug of hot chocolate just for me (The G students' eyes go wide and they move in super slow motion) NOOOOOO! Somebody get her away before she drinks that mug of hot- (She polishes off the rest of the hot cocoa & gives them an evil looking smile, her lips stained with chocolate) Cocoa. We're too late! Now I have energy to babble Great. Now we won't be able to get her toshut up (G students all curse under their breath) See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! ( Disneyluver runs into the G cafe door) Oww! That hurt (Opens the door and quickly locks it as a group of G students runs into it. She blows raspberries at them before running for her life) Oh it's true, her evilness covers G's sun Her babbling should be a crime I'd say that her sweet side has gone very loco But she don't seem to have one Gotta eat to babble I'd stay and chat, but oh look is that the time? EEEP! Gotta love it when I babble Yeah right evil one! otherwise G would be very dull CRUD! One jump ahead of the slowpokes One dash ahead of my doom Maybe a new identity I should assume NAAAH! One jump ahead of the hitmen One hit ahead of the pack I think I'll take a nice little stroll around the track Disturbance Evil! She's a pest! Devil! About this decision to kill me let's not be too hasty Robbie: Still I think my girlfriend's nungas look rather tasty NickyYou want tasty, Robbie? I'll give you tasty (She slaps himacross the face & kicks him hard in the groinAll the guys cringe as he screams like a little girl) Disneyluver: That's really gotta sting Robbie (in a squeaky girly voice) Nicky, my nutsYou kicked me in the nuts (Disneyluver bites her tongue in order not to laugh her head off) DUH (Disneyluver runs into the Trudy hall door) Oww! Why me (Opens the door and quickly locks it) I fooled them! I fooled them! I fooled- Guess again evil child Them. (Disneyluver turns around and her eyes bug out. a group of G students are waiting for her holding sharp looking plastic forks inside trudy hall) Oh sugar cookies! You should consider being humiliated on the GA a special treat You'll be a dead duck as well as dead meat Look, can't we all just get along? G students: Let me think about that uh, WRONG Elizabeth: I'll kill you as I see fit Hey Elizabeth, why don't you chill out and Elizabeth: you wouldn't dare SIT ! SIT! SIT! SIT!SIT! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Elizabeth: evil Bobsey twin Duh, Tell me something I don't know One jump ahead of the Footsteps Nuisance I'm fairly quick on my feet Getting tortured on those outlines is not fun One trick ahead of complete disaster Disturbance! They're quick, but I'm tiny bit faster Evil one! (ducks as a barrage of plastic forks goes over her head, snagging a few strands of her hair) That was too close Oh crud Why'd I even open my my fat trap? Let's put tape around her big yap Disneyluver: All I have to do is ruuuun! (The angry mob has her backed up against a wall) Do you have any last words evil child? (Nervously chuckles) Look before you kill me- Oh look at that person coming toward us. Isn't that Mrs. B? (The G students don't fall for it) Yeah right! She's full of sass On the count of three we all kick her! G STUDENTS: DANG IT! We were thisclose Oh, boo hoo, look's like it's time for class and you can't kill me (All the G students curse loudly as disneyluver slowly starts to smile evily) She who flees away lives to torture another day! (blows a raspberry at the G students and runs off like her life depends on it)