Ok everyone this is my first chapter story (thats not a song fic) that I have put on here. I like how it is turning out, I hope you like it too. (This is my first story on here but not my first in general by the way.)


Doom Diva

How many times will you cut yourself before you get that you're bleeding? Before you get that someone out there might be bleeding with you? It's a simple question really and you don't have to actually cut yourself to understand it. It's a question I ask myself every morning before I take a shower, squeeze into my skinny jeans, slap on every bracelet I own and draw on eyeliner.

I just look at myself… and ask: How many times will you cut yourself before you get that you're bleeding? Before you get that someone out there might be bleeding with you? Who is that person?

And then my alarm clock goes off and I have to get ready for school. Everyday as I'm getting ready I wonder why I always get up before I have to. I know I don't get much sleep and I need it but… something won't let me rest. Maybe it's my parents arguing, or possibly my baby sister's crying. I just don't know.

I put my fingers to the tips of my Kool-Aid red hair. It was to my shoulders and it was time for me to go crazy and cut it again. I licked my lips I needed to drink more water because coating my dry lips with saliva was just not working.

Downstairs my parents had started a rerun of their "I hate you so much right now" series. I say rerun because I had seen and heard this argument way to many times for it to still be interesting.

"GROW UP Jonathan! You can't sit around painting crap that doesn't even bring in money when you have a family to take care of!" my mom screamed.

"ART DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING IN MONEY Monica! It's about showing who you are on the inside!" my father yelled.

"Well that must mean you are pretty damn ugly on the inside! No one will even give your 'art' a second glance." My mom screamed back.

Somewhere in the background Rue Daniels –my baby sister- added her two cents as she wailed like someone was trying to kill her. I rolled my eyes. In about two seconds my mom is about to call me downstairs to take her when she knows I have to get ready for school.

"Look what you did! You're inner ugly has upset Rue!" my mother sighed, "Rouge! Come get your sister!"

I glared at myself in the mirror. Maybe while I'm down there I can guzzle six gallons of much needed water. I turned and walked out of my purple and poster covered room. I walked down the stairs sighing loudly so that the parental units knew just how irritated I was.

"Girl, stop that sighing and take this baby before I drop her." My mother fussed.

Some random info about me is that my mother is black and my father is Porto Rican. So I'm biracial but my little sister Rue is the product of my mom's unfaithfulness so she is black and Mexican. It seems as though my mother can't get enough of Hispanics. I get it.

I put my arms out and my mom pushed Rue into them. Rue hiccupped but quieted down. When she was born she wouldn't stop crying after coming out until I held her. Ever since then I had a feeling she liked me more than mom or dad. Once again, I get it.

"Take her upstairs and put her in her crib. I don't want to see her right now." My mom said and put her fingers to her temples.

Dad had stormed off to the dark pit he called his studio where I'm sure he was sulking. Artists are like that, so moody. I turned and walked up stairs with Rue in my arms. My cell phone buzzed on my pillow and I grabbed it as I gently put Rue on my bed.

Girl if u don't bust a move I'm gonna leave u

It was from my friend Jamie. Jamie is a black 5'6 spicy sweetie and he has low cut red hair –to match mine- and big brown eyes. I would date him if he weren't playing for the other team.

Anyway, it Jamie always comes to pick me up since my mom was too busy spending her money on hutchie clothes and hooker heals to buy me a car. And my savings kept getting broken into so that dad could buy more art supplies. That's right MY savings, money I made on my own stolen by my own dad.

Yeah ok, the "I hate you so Much" show was playin a rerun and I had to save baby girl

I quickly threw on my outfit for the day and drew cat eyes around my eyes with eyeliner. I touched at my lips slightly with a blush colored lip gloss then slid my feet into some charcoal colored canvas sneakers. I picked up my bag and Rue –who gurgled happily- and rushed out of my room. I put her in her crib then pulled open her window. I didn't want my dad to try to make me take his side so I'll have to sneak out.

"Bye, bye, baby girl." I said and climbed out.

The morning air was a bit chilly but not enough to make me want to go back and get a jacket. I hurried across the roof and climbed down the tree next to the house. I opened the door of Jamie's purple Dodge Magnum and climbed in.

"You better be glad you got here when you did. I was just about to let your mom drive you to school." Jamie said as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Be nice to me, I just had to listen to my parents arguing." I said poking out my bottom lip even though I knew that Jamie could care less. That's what I loved about him after all.

"Sweetie, when I grow some Latino hair and whip it like Willow, I'll start caring about your parental units and there mess," Jamie scoffed.

I laughed, "That's why I love you." I said.

"Mm, hm, if you love me so much blast that Gaga song you showed me yesterday." Jamie nodded toward my purse.

I smiled, "Sure thing." I took out my black and white zebra stripped I-phone and hooked it up.

"I know it's not new but I don't care. I love this song." Jamie said as the song started.

Some girls wont dance to the be of the track. She won't walk away but she won't look back.

I laughed as Jamie rolled his shoulders and rolled his head side to side. That's why I got this song; I knew he'd like it. He wasn't a total Lady Gaga fan but she had songs that he really liked. Like this one –Dance in the Dark, if you were wondering.

"Baby loves to dance in the dark, cause when he's watching she falls apart." Jamie sung.

I nodded my head to the music and looked out the window. It was a pretty morning blue outside. I thought for a second about dying my hair that color next time. I shook my head deciding against it.

"I have to pick up Julio today." Jamie glanced at me.

I frowned, "Doesn't he have a car?" I asked and looked at him.

"Yeah, but it's in the shop. Come on now mommy. We're all friends here." Jamie tried.

"No, I'm not friends with him." I growled.

"Cool it, don't bite me." Jamie said in a mock worried tone.

The closer we got to Julio's place the itchier and more irritated I got. Julio is my ex boyfriend of two years and I still get chills when he stands too close to me. I broke up with him because he wouldn't leave his ex out of our love life. It pissed me off to no end. And I just found out yesterday that he's still hanging out with her! To top it off he's friends with my friends so I can't get rid of him.

We pulled up next to his house –which he was waiting outside of. I think he knew that it was Jamie's day to pick me up so he asked for a ride. He walked up to the car –pause.

Julio is 6'1 –perfect for my 5'7- with long dark brown wavy hair. He has hazel eyes and full lips and straight white teeth that hid behind them. His skin was slightly on the darkish side. He was like my sister Rue, Mexican/Black mix, let's call them Blacxican. So he has the pretty almost flawless skin of a dark-skinned black man and the long wavy hair of a Mexican. Do you see why I was with him for two years? Play.

Julio opened the door to the back seat and I cringed as he got in. Why would Jamie do this to me?

"Good morning you guys." He said his deep Hispanic accent rolling over me in sexy waves.

"Morning, Lio." Jamie said happily.

"…"

Jamie nudged me, "Morning." I grumbled.

"What are we listening to?" Julio asked like we were buddies.

"Greenday." I grumbled and looked for a Greenday song.

"Greenday is too depressing." Julio reached up and I flinched as his fingers brushed against mine.

He took my I-phone out of my partially open hands. I was so shocked I didn't even take it from him. I looked at Jamie with big eyes and he gave me a goofy grin. I clenched my hands into fists. Anger was replacing surprise and I was about ready to jump back there and kick his oblivious behind! All anger however, soon melted away as he played 'our song'. Jamie looked at me in shock. I glanced back at Julio who had sat back and was watching me with his hazel eyes. He was letting it sink in.

Chris Brown Forever bumped from the speakers and my heart thumped along with it as my brain played back our first dance together. I could feel his hands on my hips even though he wasn't even touching me. I could hear him whispering how much he liked me even though he sat in the back seat silently. Looked down in my lap and sighed. This was the worst thing that has happened to me while Jamie was watching –so far.

"For this one night." I sung quietly.

Jamie parked in the school parking lot.

"I didn't think you would still have this song." Julio said quietly.

"Well… I do. Give me my phone." I said my voice cracking slightly.

He handed it to me and I took it as I got out the car quickly and ran into this school away from Jamie and his purple car, but mostly away from Julio. My school was home to every oxymoron imaginable. There were hugely small jocks, stupidly smart cheerleaders, geekishly cool nerds, excitingly boring teachers and sadly happy emo kids. Sadly Happy Emo Kids was the oxymoron I had be stuck in. I admit I'm a bit moody and emotional and I wear the scene style but… I don't think I'm emo.

I walked down the hallway to my locker.

"Rouge! Hold up chika!"

I sighed, why couldn't this guy just leave it alone? I turned and looked at Tyrone –everyone called him Tie for short. In stead of breaking out of the box Tie was a stereotypical black guy, baggy jeans, and all. I turned and looked at him.

"When are you gonna call me? My cell phone is waiting for your ring, girl." Tie said smirking at me.

"I-"

"Don't you dare say you're taken. I know you and Hoohoo broke up. So you are perfectly single." Tie cut me off.

"Tie, grow up and go get a girl that digs you're baggy jeans." I sighed.

"Ah, come on. My baggy jeans will grow on you." Tie said as he followed me down the hall.

"I pray to god you're pants don't grow anymore. They can already swallow the whole school. Leave me be Ronie." I said using the nickname he hated.

"Not funny, girl." Tie sighed.

I shooed him away and opened my locker. I glared at where my lock used to be. Toward the end of our relationship Julio had broke it –being dumb- and had promised to replace it but since I broke up with him…I now have a locker that anyone could steal from.

"That wasn't very well though out." I told myself.

"What wasn't thought out?"

I turned and saw Skye smiling at me. I smiled back at her, pause.

Skye is one of my besties that has been with me since first grade. She is 5'5 with black hair –orange highlights- and aqua eyes. Her style of clothes included anything cutesy that looked good on her. Today she wore a hot pink mini skirt and a black tank top and silver jewelry.

"My locker still doesn't have a lock." I sighed.

"That sucks." Skye said as she looked at where my skull and crossbones lock should be,

"That's right, Lio broke it."

"Yeah, he was supposed to replace it…" I looked down at my phone and everything that happened this morning came rushing back, "He rode with me and Jamie to school this morning." I sighed.

"OMG! Are you ok? Did he do something?" Skye asked already in comforting mode.

"No, she just overreacted." Jamie said as he walked up.

I glared at him, "I had a reason to react that way." I said.

"All he did was play a song." Jamie scoffed.

"You know what that song meant to me!" I said my voice rising slightly.

"I know, baby, I know. I'm sorry." Jamie leaned forward and kissed my forehead, "I have to get to math class. There was a test I needed to make up."

I nodded and Jamie left. I looked back at Skye to find her staring at me.

"What is it cutie?" I asked.

"Nothing, lets go to class." She said smiling.

"Ok, ok."