Bam Bam Bam.
Three, only three
and my life was slipping, eroding away
like the beautiful sands near the edge of the sea.
Nobody would notice I was there.
As I began to descend to the wet pavement below,
my thoughts were racing.
Thoughts about how many more breaths I would be able to take.
Thoughts about the last few seconds of life I still had in me.
I wanted to cherish every single one.
I hear the ambulance sirens down the block.
They never seem to be going fast enough when you're lying on the ground,
The medic opened the back doors and put me on the cart.
They were asking me questions but I couldn't hear.
My eyes focused on the deep red
stained on the white.
The trip was taking so long.
I'm getting sleepy but I refuse to close my eyes.
Instead, I stared through the windows
just watching the streetlights pass amongst the dark night.
I never realized I closed my eyes
but the next thing I saw was the hallway overhead lights pass by.
Once again, three
there were three doctors.
I'm not special.
It's so cold here.
I can imagine the sterilized scalps,
the plastic hands,
the sweating nurse,
my pulsing heart.
So quiet, so alone
please look away.
The heart monitor screams.
Take them away doc;
I don't want them to see
my final moments.
Red flat line