-Just Be Friends-
-Fragments of the Lost Memories-
It was always the same thing time after time, always the same dreams. And it never did anything but confuse her more. Those dreams, it never helps her nor does it give her any clue as to what is it that she had forgotten. The only things it left for her were a headache and more confusion. She had tried to find out what is it that she had forgotten, but no matter how many times she tried; it will only lead her to another dead end.
Her older sister always tells her that it was okay if she doesn't remember, that it was okay for her to forget. Still, she can't stop but feeling guilty as if there is something important that she shouldn't forget. Like there is something or someone who is still waiting for her to remember although, she doesn't know who or what it is. Eventually, she gets used to with it. After all, there is nothing she can do to stop it.
She will get a sudden headache from time to time, and then she will see another flash of her old memories but aside from that, she won't remember anything. She can't even get the full pictures of it. It always a flash, a blur of something that she can't reach nor can she remember. And after some times, she started to ignore it. Stopping paying any attention to those memories as she knows she won't ever able to remember it.
Because, even though the doctor had said that she will eventually regain all her memories back, she still can't remember anything about her past. As if there is something within herself that refuse to remember, like there is something within her that choose to forget about what had happened in her past. Besides, some years have passed since that incident and she still unable to remember anything about her past.
'Maybe it was better this way… maybe I really shouldn't remember it… That's why, maybe… I just have to stop trying to remember it…' She thought inwardly, her sapphire blue eyes stared wistfully at the blue sky.
In each of her past memories, the sky was always blue like now with a bright sun shines upon it. The sign of a bright and sunny day. And in each of it, she will always hear that voice, a voice which can only belong to a man. Calling her name, laughing at her and asking her. But she can never see his face nor can she get a glimpse of it. The only thing she can see was a blur.
She sighed heavily, resting her head in the palm of her hand. She can feel her sister's eyes on her although she was looking outside the plane's window. She knows that her older sister had been so hesitant about her decision to move in with the older woman to this new country, still she was adamant of it. She refused to be left alone in her home country since she has nothing to tie her in there. She doesn't remember anything about that place, even if that place was the place where she had born and grown up before.
She just can't remember anything about it. And she doesn't even feel any special tie to that place. That's why, when she heard that Mika, her older sister was going to move in to Japan, she quickly made up her mind and decided to go along with the older woman. After all, Japan was their mother and Mika's home country before they moved to Paris after Mika's father, their mother first husband died. Mika had been living in Paris with their mother together since she was five years old, until their mother met with their current father and gave birth to Estelle.
The temperature in Tokyo was quite hot at this summer. And Estelle, who isn't used to with the hot weather, had tied her peach colored hair in a low ponytail. She refused to cut her hair short since it will only remind her of her inability to remember her past. She had a short hair before and after the incident which left her coma in the hospital for almost two years, she decided to grow it longer. Up until now, her hair had reached her waist and it had been quite difficult for her sister whenever she asked the older woman to help her braiding it.
"We're almost there," Mika, her older sister said after some moments of silence. Even though they were only half siblings, Mika always loves and cares for Estelle as if Estelle was her full blood sibling.
"I know," Estelle said quietly without looking at the older woman beside her.
"Are you sure about this? I mean, I can send you back home if you're not sure about it." The older woman said once again, a hint of worry laced her voice.
She sighed tiredly at what her sister had said. Really, she knows the older woman was only trying to look after her but this behavior of her was starting to annoy Estelle more and more. "I'm sure about it, sister. Now, please do me a favor and stop asking such a thing again. I was trying to get my sleep, you know." She grumbled lowly.
"I just don't want you to regret it later, Estelle. After all, you never been away from home since that time and I was wondering if this is the right thing for you to do. Besides, you also never have been to Japan before."
"That's why I want to go and live with you. That way, I can learn and know just what kind of country Japan is."
"If you say so. Just remember that their cultures are different from Europe, Estelle. It won't be the same like when you live in Paris," Mika sighed in defeat, eyes looking seriously at her little sister.
"I know that. You don't have to remind me about it every five minutes. It's getting annoying to hear it over and over again, sister." Estelle growled.
"But you are so forgetful sometimes. I just don't want you to forget about it and embarrass yourself later,"
The words her older sister had said to her froze her. She knows that she ever heard that sentences too before but she can't remember when or where she had heard it. She only knows that the one who had said it to her was the same man who had been haunting her every dream since that incident which left her unable to remember her past.
"You are so forgetful sometimes until I can't stop but reminding you about it every times." His voice sounded so wary when he said those words, yet she can hear his fondness in it.
Like every memories before it, this one was also a blur though unlike her other memories, Estelle was able to catch a glimpse of the man's eyes. This mysterious man of her has a pair of hazel eyes which looks so warm. Somehow, Estelle can't stop but wonder if the man was really warm like his eyes. 'Can I meet again with him someday…? Does he even remember about me? Just what is it about him that makes me yearn for his presence?'
"…-lle? Estelle? Do you hear me? Estelle, are you sure you're okay?" The sounds of her name coming out from her sister snapped her out of her thought as she finally turns her head to look at the older woman.
Mika's deep blue eyes were looking at her with concern as the older woman tried to find if she was hurt. The look on her older sister's face make her frowned as she quickly schooled her expression. It won't be good if Mika finds out that she just gets another flash back again, since the older woman was tend to be protective every times she knows that Estelle was still getting a flash back of her past.
"I'm fine, sister. Stop shouting in my ears! I don't want to be deaf," She said quickly, trying to reassure the worried woman beside her.
"But you don't even answer me when I called you before." Mika pointed out, doubting her little sister's answer.
"Whatever, I'm just thinking about something. Anyway, have we arrived yet?" Estelle huffed, changing their subject slowly so her sister won't get suspicious.
"Yeah. We're here now. Let's get down, I'm sure you are so excited to finally see just what kind of place Japan is." The crimson red haired woman stands up from her seat as she looks down at her sister.
"I guess so…"
"Then, come on. We have a lot of places to visit," The older woman was already dragging her out of her seat when she said these while Estelle just lets herself being dragged by her excited sister.
'I just hope it won't end badly…I wonder if I can finally meet with him in here…' Sapphire blue eyes look longingly at the blue sky. She can't stop but feeling anxious of the things which awaits her in this new country. Her only hope was that she can survive whatever obstacles this country gives to her later, that is if Mika hasn't driving her crazy with her over protectiveness.