there's something about trusting someone that is terrifying

to the one little girl in the corner of the playground,

too afraid to have any friends

because maybe, she'll trust them and that is so scary for her

that she just hides away

and doesn't talk to the other little girls.

today, she is crying,

but that's nothing new because she cries

every night, and again at recess when she can't run around and play

because she is hurting too much

in too many ways.

at home today, the little girl will play with her dolls some,

but her dolls always fight, because they are adults

and that's what adults do

in the girl's world.

and when the monster comes home and starts fighting with her daddy

the little girl will carefully put the dolls away

and crawl into her closet

and try her hardest to shut the door tight.

and in the closet she will listen to her older brother's stolen ipod

with her older brother's stolen headphones

because her older brother got smart

and ran away three months ago

but her daddy says he's in jail now

and the monster says that's why good little girls should never, ever run away.

and she can never tell anyone

because the monster says that if she does,

the monster will leave the little girl on the street

to go to jail like her older brother.

and then, because the little girl would be in jail and not at home like a good girl

the monster will visit the girl's little sister.

and the girl knows that her sister still believes in santa

and that all adults are nice

and the little girl cannot let her sister's world be shattered like hers.

at night, the monster will visit the little girl, but only

after her daddy passes out from the booze

and before the little girl falls asleep.

and the monster will crawl into the little girl's bed

and the monster will tell that little girl how much the monster loves her.

and after that,

the little girl will try her best to disappear

until the monster leaves again.

and then little girl is left alone again

to try to sleep in the dark,

the scary dark that is always better than the light

because the monster always leaves the light on.

and the dark means that the monster has left.

maybe, someday, this little girl with have friends

that she can trust.

and maybe someday, the girl will be happy,

and will be able to hug her boyfriend

and let him touch her

without flinching.

and maybe, the lights won't give her nightmares,

and maybe, she will be happy.

but for now, that little girl just sits in the corner of the playground,

and cries,

because she is a good little girl,

and good little girls

don't fight back.