I look at you and all I can think about is what you've put me through every single day! I come to class well-prepared and ready to do whatever I am required to, but you have to walk up and say something you think is funny. You look at people and think they have no feelings… You don't have a conscience, and maybe that's why you say and act before a thought crosses your mind…

Well, you need to see that it hurts people; It's like a whip… It comes down and cuts me deep. Instead of an apology—which wouldn't close the wounds you make anyway—you let me sit there… bleeding and vulnerable. Words hurt… someone can say something to you, and you'll laugh it off and come back harder.

What did I ever do or say to you? All I did was be myself… I guess ignorant people get scared when they don't have a clue… And decide their victim should take the heat… Well, I've had enough! I may not have reached my breaking point yet, but there will be a time when you make me…

I talked to my teacher today… she asked me about you… she told me that she could see how it bothered me. You say things like, "How can you be so stupid?" or "You say useless stuff!" and then I go to my next class, fighting tears… I guess I never realized everyone noticed it…

No ever said anything… Do they, like you, just not care? I sit there at my desk and you know what I think? I think this: How can you say I'm stupid? How can I get all these excellent grades and all these questions right? Am I stupid? Am I just believing I'm smart? Am I believing I actually have a chance at being better than you?

I sit there and I feel inferior. I go home, and I cry into my pillow… My sister watches me when this happens… telling me she hates it when I cry… It's amazing how strong I felt, fighting tears… Not really believing I could fight off so much hurt… I guess I never realized I did look vulnerable… I never realized everyone noticed it… It hurts thinking they see me this way… and they don't bother to ask if I need someone to yell at, even though I'm not yelling at them, but just to them.

It made me happy today, though. Relieved even that someone finally spoke to me… All alone to, who knew? I feel like everyone's gaze has been lifted because now someone actually cares. This is me, writing away all that hurt you caused so that I don't reach that breaking point.

That's all the teacher talks about when she talks to us about this stuff. Bullying. You never realize how truly broken inside someone is until they've gone beyond help. Whenever you make me feel inferior… this comes to mind:

No one talks to her she feels so alone,

She's in too much pain to survive on her own

The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife

She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life

Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave

Fighting the lie that giving up is the way

Each Moment of courage her own life she saves

When she throws the pills out, a hero is made

I never ever get to this point and I'm glad I have friends and people who care. My teacher talking to me just made my whole day! I can fake a smile better than I can make a real one, you know… Do you know why that is?

Because you make me afraid to cry.

Everything that comes out of your mouth is nothing but insults. Here's what happened just the other day… Remember this?

"I'm gonna draw you, just watch it'll be horrible!" you laughed. I try to laugh with you… But even that seems fake to me, the laugh. As you begin drawing you make comments like, "OMG! This looks so like you!" in that much-too high boy voice of yours. Then, the last comment you made that day, still hurts me… You said, "Oh wait! I have to get your double chin!" and just laughed. Everyone did.

I'll have you know, I'm not over-weight, far from it! But I look in the mirror and begin thinking, "Maybe I am a bit over weight…" No! I don't want to think like that but you make me! I used to be the most positive girl in school… you changed that. I walk into class and sit down and don't even bother trying to say anything!

Today, I began talking about my writing and how I loved doing it! But you came out and said, "You've already used your 'Useless Fact of the day' so shut up!" That hurt me. It made me feel like I was smart for nothing… Like I researched for fun, just to get made fun of…

Here's what happened in English today, with the teacher:

Me: Um, Miss? I was just thinking about the lesson, and what she said… Everyone has a breaking point, that's true, but she forgot to mention that everyone has a different one.

Teacher: You're right! But like I had mentioned, someone's may be weaker than the one next to them who is also getting bullied.

Me: *hesitating* Well, it reminds me a lot of this boy who torments me in Art Class… You see, he says mean stuff to me…

As I tell her this, I'm ready to cry. It's a big step outside my comfort zone, but you've made me do it… And you know what? It feels really good…

Teacher: I can see, just the way you're speaking, that it bothers you… What's their name?

So I tell her your name… I see the look in her eyes go from confused to automatically knowing who you are and what kind of person you are…

Me: Well, I'm used to these remarks… so I just brush them off and let it go—

Teacher: No! No, sweetheart! Don't ever just let it go! Look at the characters in your book! Do you see what bullying's pushed them to do? Honey, you need to go to the office, and fill out a bullying form!

Me: I know, it's just… I'm so afraid that no one will help me… These things he says to me… It makes me hurt a lot and I go to my classes, pretending to be fine, but no one notices it…

Teacher: Well, you're very convincing… I hadn't noticed it until just now, and I wish I had… But there will always be someone to help you… If it can't be me, then maybe it can be your parents or the principal or guidance, but don't you ever just let it go…

And by this point, realizing my teacher is actually telling me someone will help… I'm crying. I never realized just how involved she was with the pain of others, but now I realize she will do all she can to help me out…

It sucks that I'm crying as I write this, because if you were reading this, you might just laugh and be even worse tomorrow… It sucks knowing these tears are because of you… But knowing someone will always help me out… makes me feel a hell of a lot better…

I've never thought of suicide or cutting myself, no matter how bad you torment me… Inside my mind is screaming at me to just break down and let everyone see how bad I'm hurting, but to do so… would be probably the biggest mistake of my life…

See, you aren't the only one who's hurt me… I've let those go too… The wounds are still open but somehow I can feel, not too long now, they'll be closed and you won't be able to bug me anymore… I won't have to go home and cry into my pillow… I won't have to hide the pain from my parents…

Even they don't know…

The only ones who know I'm hurting is—more likely than not—you, my teacher, and my sister… But that's about to change and you know why?

Because I've got help on my side… I'm not going to be pushed around by you, and I can't wait until you realize that…

I may sound crazy in the head to you, but I hope what goes around comes around for you… Maybe you'll realize that people do have feelings… And people are willing to drop it all and help…

I'm bigger than you because I'm letting everyone know how I feel…

So I'm falling apart as I write this… It's not like it'll be the last time…

Oh, wait!

It will be the last time I ever write about my pain from you!

A/N: Hey, everyone! I just wanted to let you guys know, that before you review (if you do :D) this is all 100% true… I'm a victim to bullying… I never realized it until my English teacher began getting more into the lesson on bullying… My story is to tell each and every one of you who have ever fallen victim to any bullying (verbal, physical, cyber, etc.) that you ARE NOT ALONE! If you guys EVER feel like no one will listen… or no one knows, just talk to someone… you'll be surprised. My English teacher told me about her experience with bullying, and I still can't believe she can stand up in front of a class of 20+ and tell us just what she went through, but she did! She inspired me to write this because I know people out there are having issues and if you are a victim and your reading this, take my words into account. People WILL listen! People WILL help! You just need to know when it's too late… The second ANYONE ever says even one word to you that hurts you… You need to tell someone… I didn't… And It pains me to realize that I should've… That I could've… To sit here at my computer and write to you all about what I've been through is a big step… I was hesitant about it but now I realize, millions of people have or are victims…

I also now realize that when does a person ever really know it's enough? How many people will die before we realize bullying is a problem? Every 15 seconds someone commits suicide… It's horribly true… We victims though can be that voice that stops it all!

We just need to start with ourselves first…