Bob the Investigator: How Bob Met Ryan

Outside the Office of Bob the Investigator…

Sasha is sitting at her desk doing paperwork. Just then, Ryan stops by.

Ryan: Hello, Sasha. Is Bob in?

Sasha: I'm sorry Ryan, but Bob the Investigator is out to lunch right now.

Ryan: It's 9:00 in the morning.

Sasha: Well, his hours are 11:00 PM to 2:00 PM.

Ryan: True. I always forget that since I wasn't in that episode.

Sasha: Oh, by the way Ryan, while you're waiting, I've always wondered how you and Bob the Investigator met.

Ryan: Well, it'll pass time. It was 15 years ago. Bob was still in Investigator's College while I was working at Joe's Turkey Barn…


Ryan is behind the counter of Joe's Turkey Barn. Mr. Carlson walks in.

Mr. Carlson: Hello. I would like some turkey.

Ryan: I'm sorry, all we have is chicken.

Mr. Carlson: But this is Joe's Turkey Barn.

Ryan: We're called a barn, but we don't have any cows or pigs. We don't have the cows because they decided to jump over random planets after that one jumped over the moon. We don't have pigs because they grew wings and flew away.

Mr. Carlson: Fine then. I'll have some chicken.

Ryan: What's chicken?

Mr. Carlson: The food you sell.

Ryan: We sell food? I thought we were selling used cars.

Mr. Carlson: Aw, forget it!

Mr. Carlson leaves.

Meanwhile, at the Investigators College…

Mr. Washburn: Repeat after me: Everyone's a suspect until proven innocent.

Bob: Everyone's a suspect until proven idiotic.

Mr. Washburn: No. Look, Bob the Investigator. You may claim the title of Investigator in your name, but you're failing out of Investigator's College. You're doing worse than Nuzzbit, which is really saying something considering he can't spell his name right. He always spells it as Nesbit.

Bob: I have a feeling that was what the author meant to name him.

Mr. Washburn: Unless you get your grades up, which you can't considering there's one day left, you can't graduate Investigator's College. Now, why don't you go get some lunch?

Bob: I never have lunch at 12:00 PM. I always have it at 9:00 AM. I think I'll go to Al's Turkey Barn, though.

The phone rings. Bob picks it up.

Bob: Hello? What's that…you say you've been kidnapped? Well you don't sound like a kid and you're obviously not napping.

Bob hangs up.

Bob: The nerve of some people.

At Joe's Turkey Barn…

Bob walks in.

Ryan: Hello. What are you going to have?

Bob: I'll take any car that's from after 2002.

Ryan: I'm sorry, but I actually learned that this is a turkey barn.

Bob: Well then where are the animals? Wait, let me guess: the cows jumped over random planets and the pigs grew wings and flew away.

Ryan: Yeah, and my boss shot the rooster because it wouldn't shut up.

Bob: Wait a minute…that gives me an idea. I'm flunking out of Investigator's College, so this could be my big break. Will you help me?

Ryan: Sure.

At the Investigator's College…

Ryan walks in.

Mr. Washburn: Can I help you?

Ryan: Yes. The rooster at Joe's Turkey Barn has been shot!

Mr. Washburn: The one that wouldn't shut up?! Thank goodness it's dead!

Ryan: Well, we still need to find out who did it.

Bob: I'll find out who did it!

Mr. Washburn: Oh no. I'm not letting you handle any real-life cases.

Bob: I'll give you $20.

Mr. Washburn: go ahead.

At Joe's Turkey Barn…

Bob, Mr. Washburn, and Ryan walk in.

Joe: How can I help you?

Bob: Quiet! We know you shot your rooster!

Mr. Washburn: Bob the Investigator, how could you say a thing like that?!

Joe: Well, he's not wrong.

Mr. Washburn: What?! You shot your own rooster?!

Joe: Yes.

Mr. Washburn: Thank you. You've done the world a great favor. As for you, Bob the Investigator, in recognition of your finding this hero, you've passed Investigator's College!

Bob: Thank you, Mr. Washburn:

Back to the Current Day…

Ryan: And that's how I met Bob.

Bob returns.

Bob: Hey Ryan. What are you doing here?

Ryan: I just came by to tell you that the pigs didn't grow wings. They bought airplane tickets.

The End