Chapter One: Lost In Thought
- The distracted thoughts of the pianist the night of her school's fall choir concert -
I was watching you tonight.
Okay, yeah, so I know that makes me sound like a stalker. Just – deal with it and hear me out, okay?
You've changed so much. Well – I guess I can't really say that – I don't know you like I used to, and you're still the same in your goofiness and dumb jokes that everyone laughs at only because of how you tell them. But I like that you've matured some, and are serious when you need to be.
You're my enigma.
Sometimes I just sit and wonder about you. In all honesty, that's really all I can do. I'm just one more face in the crowd that surrounds you – and one near the back, for that matter. But later, the throng has left, and you stand there, alone...
My heartthrob. Mysterious. Unattainable.
I know – better than anyone – if you wanted a girl, you'd get her.
And I know it will never be me.
The truth is – I don't want to be your girlfriend. Wellll... not exactly. The thing is, I know that if I reach for the stars, I can only come back with a fragment of cloud. I can live without being your girlfriend. I just wish that I knew you better. I feel like I've known you forever – but in reality I know I haven't. Every time I see you, I wonder all over again...
All I've ever wanted was to be near you.
I dream about you, did you know that? No, of course you didn't. You don't even know I exist. But in my dreams, you do. You shield me, protect me. You do random, slap-happy stuff with me and enjoy it. You laugh with me – and it's your true laugh, ringing clear – not that goofy chortle you stifle out with the popular crowd. You voluntarily crumble your walls... and let me in.
My wish: You. Me. Simple, but true, friendship.
We live in a small town. We run into each other a lot. Yet half the time – actually, it's more than that – you seem so oblivious to my existence that it's like you're purposely ignoring me.
Perhaps your ignorance is bliss. For both of us.
You said "hi" to me tonight. I was wearing high heels, and as I'm already tall, they put me on eye level with you. We were standing almost back-to-back in conversation with other people, and kind of, awkwardly, turned around at the same time. You politely greeted me. I responded in kind. And you walked away.
Goodbye, when we've just said hello.
Occasionally, you'll catch me in the act of stealing a glance your way, and though my soaring imagination builds me an airy castle of dreams, turret upon turret, I know that I probably don't make an impression upon your mind. I'm just one plain face in a thousand beautiful ones. So I casually avert my eyes.
To hide what's underneath.
I watched you, from my seat on the piano bench. Looked straight at you, on the back row of the risers.
You didn't meet my eyes, not once.
You didn't even glance my way.
Then, as you were lost in the sea of shifting, moving faces, I turned my eyes to my music.
A tiny smile twitched up the corner of my mouth and quirked itself across my lips.
My secret is safe.
- I love buttons. Don't you? (*hint, hint, hint*) One word: R-E-V-I-E-W-S. I adore them. That is, I will when I get some. :) Also, I promise to return reviews, if that means anything to you. And I'm going to try to set myself up as a Beta reader. (Cause in all honesty, I'm better at editing than at actually creating my own story.) Thanks, y'all! - Grammargurl