Title: My Tears

Summary: Sobs erupted from her as tears streamed down her cheeks. I couldn't help but think how one boy could do this to her. One boy that she had only dated for one month caused her to cry for an hour straight.

Based on a true story.


Sobs escaped her as her body shook with pure sadness and insecurities. Whispers of "my fault" and "I ended it" could barely be understood as she wailed in pain. Not any physical pain, but the emotional pain caused her to shake violently. She slammed her head back on the pillow, probably desperately wishing it was a wall instead. She needed to feel some sort of pain to match her emotional state. She tried to make out words as she gasped for breath, but only more sobs continued to come out. She hugged her knees, desperately trying to think it wasn't true. I held her hand, rubbing her palm slowly to give her comfort. She wouldn't accept any of my hugs; they reminded her too much of him.

How could a boy do this to her? I remembered years ago when we were only concerned about the romance with our Barbie dolls. We wanted true love from Disney movies. We thought we were princesses destined for true love. I could see now how much those theories engulfed her, even today. As a child, I knew some things couldn't come true. At the time, I just wanted to write plays on romance. By the sixth grade, she found her first boyfriend. They dated for a year before he broke up with her. Cuts still ran down her arms from that one experience. Not scabs anymore but simple white lines that threaten to make her try again. After that, she found another boyfriend. Then another, then another, then another, until I finally realized what she had become: she became someone who was so desperately in love with love that they threw themselves at anyone. Most of her relationships only lasted a week or two. This one lasted a whole month and thirteen days.

He broke up with her via text message. He claimed he was too busy for a relationship. I knew the truth though; he just couldn't handle her. No one but I can handle her. Her dad will just send her off to some hospital while my parents will just tell me later that they can't handle Danielle's "crash moments". I can handle them though. I may be weak; the same scars may run down my arms, but I can handle her. I can take care of her. She's my best friend, and therefore, my responsibility. Parts of me wished I didn't have to deal with her emotional break downs, but another part of me scowled myself for thinking such thoughts like that. I knew that it would only be temporary, her tears and her sobs. Soon, she would find another boyfriend. Then another. Then another. Then another. She would keep searching until she found the one. One question struck me though.

She cries when they break up with her, yet she goes back to a boy each and every single time.

"It's like a drug," she said. "I need to date someone even though I know it's hurting me."

"Then go to rehab," I whispered. Sure, she may be able to deal with her breakdowns, but I can't. I can handle her, but sometimes I just don't know what to do. She didn't hear me. Instead she just continued to wait for the text message from her boyfriend. If only she knew that text message would break her heart.

Where did my best friend go? All I see now is a shell of what she once was, who she once was. How could one boy cause her to cry for hours on end? One boy that she dated for only a month and thirteen days caused her to break down into fits of tears. I knew I was only fooling myself though. She didn't like him like that. Instead, she just wanted a boyfriend. Her drug was taken away from her. Her beautiful, self-harming, addicting drug was stripped away by that boy. Now, she's going to go search for it again. Maybe she'll find one even more addicting, or maybe she'll find one that she won't like. I don't know; after all, we're only in the ninth grade.


This is what happened yesterday, and I decided to write about it.