How to write story for FP- part 2

Comedy Autopsy

Ever write a story that your friends said was hilarious so you put it up on Fiction Press? And now you're at the morgue identifying the body, wondering what happened?

Such a promising comedy, we hardly knew ye. Now we laugh at ye behind ye's back and crack wise about ye's momma.

Let's slice open this humor cadaver and have look inside; maybe find out what went wrong and who did it?

First, let's consider the top three suspects in any unsolved crimes against comedy:

1) Success

Johnny Manziel just became the first freshman to win the Heisman Trophy! Notice how you're not laughing? There's a reason for that. We're trying to tear people down not lift them up! Success is comedy poison! Red alert! Skull and cross bones! Justin Bieber Concert!

Now let's have a look at Brian Okam, the backup center for the Appalachian St. men's basketball team. Brian is famous for shooting what is being called the worst free-throw in the history of competitive basketball. Mark down Saturday, December 8th 2012 as the day that Brian Okam stepped behind the line, faced the basket, dribbled twice, and to quote the TV announcers: "Preparing for a rebound… second free-throw… My goodness! I'm not sure what that was… Good Lord!"

Go ahead… breathe it in… savor the sweet smell of Brian's humiliation… mmm… ermm… mumrumahhhaaa!

2) Virtue

Get out… seriously, git! I'm not having any of that around my hovel! Listen, we wouldn't be writing comedy unless we were miserable wretches with deep-seated emotional problems so don't you tell me your characters have purpose driven lives or ethical standards! You're not fooling anyone, jerk!

3) Respect

There's no place for respect in comedy.

Got a bad attitude- Good! Throw table scraps at honor students? - Even better! Man bites dog? - You're almost there! Man bites honor student? - Excellent, now you're ready! Go pass it on to your characters, get them to disgrace themselves as you have so many times.