The Hangover 3- Co-staring Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un
The North Korean ruler shook the flamboyant former NBA star. "Hey... wake up! Dennis... wake up!"
"Mmm... not now Oprah," Rodman mumbled and rolled over. "Can't cry no more..."
"I'm not Oprah, jackass! It's Kim... Kim Jong Un, the Supreme and Beloved Leader of the North Korean People... we went to the basketball exhibition together... and then we partied and... oh never mind- just get up!"
Rodman raised up on one elbow and squinted at his current surroundings. There were craters, landmines and coils of razor-wire in all directions. "Where we at... Detroit?"
The dictator shook his head. "I don't know for sure but I think we're in the Demilitarized Zone!"
"Thank God!" Rodman seriously couldn't go back to Detroit.
Kim flinched as he heard a noise. "Shhh... what's that? Someone's coming! Could be South Korean soldiers!"
"No way man..." The Worm hopped up on his haunches like a cat. "I'd know that silicone squeak anywhere- it's Madonna!"
"Your ex? Oh shit..." The dictator searched his pockets. "We're defenseless! I don't even have my launch codes!"
"Wait... I got an idea." The two-time NBA all-star shrugged off his white lace gown. "Hurry, put on my wedding dress."
The Supreme Leader barely had time to protest as the basketball player put the dress over his head and zipped up the back. Then Rodman got out his make-up kit and applied some bright red lipstick to the dictator's lips as he explained his plan. "See, that bitch be crazy but the thing about Madonna- she can't stand it if some other bitch gets any attention at all."
"What?" The baffled dictator complained. "I don't uh..."
"It's all right, bro- I gotcha back!" Rodman finished with blue eyeliner and then stepped back to admire his work. "Now you just need to go over there and dance like a ho!" Rodman mimicked the wild dance. "You know, Gangnam Style!"
"For the last time, that's not me! I'm the Supreme and Beloved Leader of the North Korean People..." Obviously, Rodman wasn't listening at all so Kim held his white dress up out the mud and stomped off toward the clearing.
Like his father and grandfather, Kim Jong Un was a cold and ruthless tyrant. But you don't get to be the dictator of North Korea without first understanding the language of seduction. Kim's perfectly whorish dance drew the attention of Madonna like a moth to the flame. He had barely begun gyrating his hips when the legendary recording artist broke through a fence, bared her manicured claws, preparing to attack her new rival.
But what she didn't know was that her former boyfriend and professional wrestler Dennis Rodman was carefully concealed in the bushes. As Madonna charged past him, the former Chicago Bulls power forward pulled a hidden tripwire and the pop diva fell on her face, landing violently on top of her cone shaped bra. The stainless-steel pointy tips stuck deep into the soft mud, pinning the growling, furious music icon to the ground.
"Got her!" Rodman shouted out, ready to party again. "Come on little dude," he rubbed the dictator's head, "Horsey dance!"
"You asshole!" the supreme leader protested. "I'm not that guy!"