(Archived Letter Addressed to the White House From William Bigsby)
I write this letter in regard to your Mind Control Program, or whichever clever little name you have given the department which deals specifically with the meddling and rapine of your citizens brains. I must demand that you seriously consider further training of the staff you employ to this unit. Their performance in my particular case not only leaves much to be desired, but has in fact become laughable. I recently began to do research not only into certain medications that I believe had been causing several damaging effects to my brain, but in numerous questionable actions the government has taken in the past when I first began to suspect this activity was occurring. I believe the intent, (Correct me if I'm wrong, not that I'll believe you, as you're such a bunch of hypocritical, dishonest autocrats) was to simulate schizophrenia, making me either commit suicide for the knowledge I had obtained, or to make me appear too insane or deluded to be believed. I must admit, at first I did question my sanity. But then, I realized, that the madman in fact never questions his sanity, already poking a gigantic hole through your bubble of mistruth. The voices initially indicated that they were a faction opposed to the government, and tried to make me believe they were going to help me. As a man formerly of great faith in humanity, I naturally believed them, only to be assailed with insults to my gullibility. At first, their performance was not without ingenuity, attacking weaknesses in my character and traumatic incidents of the past, coupled with attacking even my dreams, but after I discovered the intent and true nature of these assaults, it quickly grew stale, and offered me not anger and sorrow but mirth and the assurance that I was in fact on the right track with my reasearch, if your organization was willing to go to such lengths to attack me. As a concerned citizen, how quickly I saw through their façade fills me with great alarm, as if I, a pot-smoking, underachieving fry-cook can penetrate the illusion with such rapidity, how swiftly then will a SERIOUS threat to the country, instead of just a threat to your corruption, dispel it?
As a tax-payer, I must also question the cost of such actions against the citizenry, particularly citizenry of such a low-class, non-threatening nature as myself. Several times now I have noted the same vehicles and individuals frequenting the same locales I find myself in, and even showing up in places I have never gone. I must demand and entire overturning of the unit, replete with new staff, improved training, and an overall raising of the organizations average IQ. I should not be able to detect supposedly clandestine operations with such ease. How easily then would an armed terrorist, alert and filled with adrenaline? How easily a foreign agent, trained to perfection and coldly calculating? Oh right, I forgot, there are no terrorists, that was just your excuse to go push your government and corporations on other countries and set up mass, ridiculous surveillances in your own.
I thank you for your time, and would hope my suggestions will not go unheard. Have fun raping the minds of the people you're supposed to protect!