Unrequited
"Loving is painful, you continue to wait and wait... for nothing at all, because he'll never feel the same way."
Today... the first day of classes. School could have not been interesting for me, if it wasn't for him. I ran towards my classroom when I saw him standing under the cherry blossom's shade. I knew he was a part of my class... I simply can't ignore him. He's actually popular in school, so I was hesitant to go near him. But I had to.
"Are you not going to class yet? We're late for five minutes."
"You are. And if you stay with me, you will miss the whole period."
"Come on,-" I stopped and realized that I forgot his name. He bent down and picked a fallen cherry blossom leaf. He stood up and hand it to me. "Nate."
I took the leaf and replied. "Jane."
The days passed since the start of school and we became good friends. Not that close though, but we went home together and talked about anything we could think of. I started to feel comfortable with him, other than with other people. When we're together, I almost forget the fact that he was a someone popular in school and I was- I'm just me.
Inside, I always felt sad because I know I'm starting to feel something for him but I know deep in my heart, that he can't give back the emotions I feel for him. I decided from this day onwards- I'll try not to fall even deeper for him.
Monday came and I was late for school. I was surprised when I was welcomed with angry glares. I didn't know what I did- or what I said that made them mad. I went to my seat and suddenly my phone beeped. It was a message from Nate, telling me to go to the school garden right now. I went out exactly the same time the teacher came in.
"Where are you going, Ms. Falcon?"
"Sir-, I-"
One of my classmate butt in the conversation. "She's going to see Nate." Then several others joined and started teasing me even more.
"Yeah, I really wonder what he saw in her. I mean, look at her."
"Come on, guys. Nate just want to give filthy people chances." Stephanie, a girl from my class, approached me and was about to pull my collar to bring me in front of the class to continue teasing me but in front of everyone by then, when a hand stopped hers. It was Nate's.
"Don't lay a finger on her." He said and jerked her hand away and took mine.
He continued to pull me and I was surprise and embarrass because many students were looking and pointing at us. I didn't know what to do until, finally, he stopped walking.
"You know, I can't be around everytime. Fight back."
"I'm sorry."
"I was very worried why you didn't come to the garden."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He patted my head and smiled.
I stepped backwards and looked up. "I promise- I won't act like that again. I'll be tough. I'll fight back."
"I know you won't." He smiled and hugged me tight.
"So, why did you call me?" I was surprised that he hugged me but didn't let go.
"Nothing. I just want to start my day by looking at someone I like." I smiled, even though I knew inside, he was just teasing me.
I went back to the classroom and acted like nothing bad happened. I walked down to my seat and Stephanie approached me again.
"At the back of the school gym at 6 pm."
I stood up, but looked down so that I can't meet her eyes. "No, I won't come."
"Huh? Why not? 'Cause your boyfriend might not come and save you this time?"
I was surprised by what she said. "What are you saying, Stephanie?"
"Everyone knows you're going out with him."
"No, I'm not!"
"Then prove it by coming this afternoon." She said and left.
I didn't know if I should go or not. During recess, Nate came to me while I was eating alone. I stood up and swiftly walked away but he caught up with me.
"What's wrong? Is Stephanie still bothering you?"
"No, it's just that. Nothing. I'm just tired."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. And by the way, I can't go home with you today."
"Why?" He sounded a bit surprised and worried.
"I- I've got some business to attend to." I smiled at him. "I'll be okay."
I was scared when I arrived at the back of the school gym. There were many girls in there, looking at me like predators watching their prey. I stepped up a bit closer to Stephanie.
"What do you want?"
"I want you to break up with him."
"I told you were not going out!"
"Then why do you go home together?"
"I-" I didn't know what to say. I started to wonder, too. We're not neighbors or relatives yet he always send me home safely.
"See? You've got no answer."
"I can explain-"
Then suddenly one girl from the group joined in the conversation. "Do you like Nate?"
"I do." The girls gasped but honestly, I was more surprised to myself when those words came out, I didn't expect myself to have enough courage to say the truth in front of these girls who have fallen for Nate. Somehow, it made me understand how they felt. To love someone so much, but not receive the love back. You keep on waiting.. and waiting... for nothing at all.
"Have you confessed to him? " Stephanie bursted out.
"No, and I can't." I suddenly felt like crying, but I stopped my tears.
"Why?" Stephanie asked in a soft whisper.
"Because if I do... I might lose a precious friend. He shares his thoughts with me, do things for me, listens to me, trusts me, protects me, cares for me. It'll be so sad... if we won't be friends anymore."
Stephanie pushed my chin a bit high. "Don't look down! Tell me straight in the eye, do you think he likes you, too?"
I jerked her hand away. I knew Nate only looks at me as a friend. But I was surprised when a familiar voice replied. "I like her, too."
I looked at the tree, just close to where we were, and surprisingly, Nate was just standing there, listening to everything we said. He walked up in front of me and fiercely looked at Stephanie. "This will be your last chance. The next time you lay your dirty hands on my girl, I'll break them off."
He took my hand and we left them.
Hand in hand, we walked down the streets. I was very surprised by what he said and I hoped heartedly that he wasn't lying.
"Do you mean what- what you said back there?"
"I never lie."
"Then why did you not tell me?"
"I did. This morning."
I realized that when he said that in the garden, it was his confession, he was telling the truth. It really blew my mind off, why are things suddenly happening so fast?
"Oh, I thought you were just being friendly to me."
"Actually, i called you this morning to tell you how I truly feel, but Stephanie got in the way. Also, during recess I did, but you seemed weird and it might not be the right time."
"Nate,"I swallowed hard and l cleared my throat. "When did you start to-"
"To what?"
I breathe in and replied in a whisper. "To feel this way."
He smiled to himself and looked down. "The truth is... I don't talk to girls because I really don't like the way they think. Why do they confess to a guy even though they never know the real him? But, the very first time I saw you, I knew you're different."
I realized from that day that he first fell in love with me. I was wrong all along. I smiled at him as he took my hand. We continued to walk side by side and couldn't stop from smiling. We both felt the same way. I realized by then, too, that my love- was never unrequited.