I was walking in the mall looking for the latest edition of the game "Skyrim" when I noticed a group of people hounding an old guy working for the Salvation Army. I went to see what was going on and asked, "What happened?"

"This man said 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holiday' or 'Happy Winter Solstice' after I gave him a quarter, it's offensive to us atheists!"


"Yeah you heard me, this guy is insensitive to our beliefs, can you believe that?"

I couldn't believe what I just heard, group of atheists getting offended by someone saying, "Merry Christmas"?

I always knew the politically correct nonsense is stupid but this is getting a bit too far. It's bad enough that some episodes of South Park got butchered because of this but...really?

I said, "Are you kidding me? You're beating him because he said 'Merry Christmas'?"

Then the dude glared at me and said, "Yeah and don't tell me that you're siding with that guy, I swear if you..." as he shoved me.

I shoved him back and said, "Do this again I wil-"

"Do what?"

He gave me another shove.

Then the security came and broke up what was going to be a brawl and we didn't meet again until later that night when I left the mall after failing to find what I wanted...not before breaking a kid's heart by telling him the truth about Santa Claus as he was waiting in the line.

Once I was out of the mall, I heard someone yelling, "Hey dink!"

I turned and saw the same person from before, he just wouldn't let it go because he gets offended by a freaking holiday greeting!

I said, "If you're not going to let it go then bring it on!" as I threw off my jacket so reduce constraints on my arms.

"What the hell, it's cold out here!" he yelled.

"So what? I can take this weather unlike pussies like you!" I said.

He ran toward me and I clocked him in the jaw. Then I land blow after blow until he backed right onto a hot dog stand, knocking it over.

"Stay down!" I said as I was ready to leave.

But the once my back was turned, the man jumped on me and soon we barreled right back through the entrance of the mall. I heard someone yelling, "Hey look a fight!"

"Awesome, let's join in!"

Next thing we both knew, it turned into a brawl...then later it quickly escalated into a full scale riot that would rival the ones in South America whenever a soccer/football team loses a game.

The riot wrecked the Queens Center Mall, resulting the deaths of dozens of people, massive property damages, and countless stolen goods. Since that day, it would become known as "The riot that ruined holiday"...

Something about that headline just doesn't fit...

To those wondering, we both got arrested and to avoid jail time, we had to accept the lifetime ban from the Queens Center Mall.

A dark day indeed.