The words were out of my mouth before I realized I had spoken aloud.
My best friend, Matt Jensen only stared at me as if he hadn't heard me correctly.
I licked my lips suddenly feeling embarrassed. "No, no, just forget it, forget I said anything.
Matt frowned down at me, not out of anger, but out of puzzlement.
I pressed my lips together, trying to formulate an answer. What was a good answer? It was certainly \one that would embarrass us both, so I decided on the truth, or as close to the truth as possible.
"You're my best friend… I'm comfortable with you…I always imagined my first kiss would be with you… And I can't imagine dating anyone else."
A slow smile friend across Matt's face and then he was quiet for a long time.
"If… It will make you happy…" He said slowly.
I looked at him expectantly and then he slowly leaned forward his lips gently meeting mine.
The kiss felt wonderful and for the first few seconds I didn't know what to do, how much pressure to use and whether to open my mouth or not. The kiss was slow and gentle at first before I wondered what I was doing. I was kneeling, my hand braced against his knee, dangerously close to his thigh but my mind was so overflowed with sensation I barely had time to think about that.
I could feel us trading pressure but finally we had to break away for lack of air and when we opened our eyes we were both staring at each other breathing shallowly staring at each other wide-eyed as if we couldn't believe what happened.
"Whoa." Matt murmured.
I grinned at him and we desolved in a few bouts of nervous laughter.
"Can we do it again? I want to try something."
"Oh, so I'm your guinea pig now?" He grinned again.
"Maybe." I drew out the word.
We sat there smiling at each other until my mouth found his again.
This time the kiss was more purposeful and I knew exactly what I wanted. I was kissing him firmly and slowly going by instinct trying to figure out what I was capable of.
I opened my mouth slowly, cautiously and very carefully trailed the tip of my tongue along Matt's bottom lip and felt him shudder in response, not sure if this was a good thing I paused. The second of hesitation was all Matt seemed to need then I felt the pressure of his mouth again the sudden shift in pressure making me lose my balance and it pretty much toppled backward.
Matt laughed and reached down to pull me up, but I pulled him down to me instead connecting his lips to mine. We kissed like that for a few minutes there in a tangle of limbs on my apartment floor until I broke the kiss attempting to speak.
"The bed is more comfortable."
Matt smirked, but his expression was guarded.
"I'm not going to jump you I promise." I reassured him with a laugh.
The next few minutes are a blur, I don't remember going into my bedroom or climbing onto my bed and pulling him down beside me and our lips finding each other again as if connected by magnets. It felt too cliché, like something out of a teenage romance novel.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't believe I was doing this, making out with my best friend, but at the moment I didn't really care as adrenaline and hormones screamed around my body making my heart pump faster and my head spin. Matt had his hands braced somewhere above my head and I wondered what to do with my own hands, as they hovered hesitantly between his shoulders, chest, and torso. His mouth was firm and hot as my tongue stroked his bottom lip again, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do more than just that, wondering if he would even let me wondering if I had, if I hadn't already, cross a line.
After what seemed like forever Matt pulled away and he just sat there on the bed looking at me. His hair was a mess as I was sure mine was, his face was flushed and his lips were red and swollen. I gave him a lopsided smile saying the only thing I could think to say.