One my desk I keep a little purple notebook, in this I write my deepest thoughts and feelings yet it is not a diary it is simply the book where I write my stories so please read it and feel what I do because everything I write is a reflection of my soul...
Most of these are just snippets of stories, and most will never be finished; I just needed somewhere to put all my ideas and emotions.
P.S. ~~~~~ mean the end of the story and the start of another
I walked up to the area where they sat, they being the 'emo' people or as I preferred my friends but that had changed and I hated it...
"Hey Crystal" Raven waved at me, I kept walking at the same slow speed, I wasn't ready for this. I took my normal seat and let out a soft sigh, I was happy here.
"Argh to bright, someone put a blanket over her or something" Bailey, he was the male leader of the group and really he hated me all because of one little day of me being 'scene'. He was covering his eyes from the 'brightness' that had come with me.
I was wearing pink t-shirt and a pair of light blue jeans; I stood out amongst the small group of people wearing black, black and just a tad more black.
Suddenly a black hoodie was hanging in front of me. After a moment I realized the person holding the fabric was Jake, with a grateful smile I took it and slipped it over my head.
Jake was my unofficial boyfriend, he had never actually asked me out but from the moment we met 3 months ago (when I had first joined the group) it was obvious we liked each other.
He took his place beside me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leant against his shoulder, I was glad I could have a few happy moments before I left for good.
My body quivered, it was time...
"Guys?" My voice was quiet and shaky, though they had still heard and now they all sat there in pure silence looking at me.
"I-I have to go, I'm leaving the group" and without even a goodbye I was running away, tears streaming down my face.
They had been the first people I had ever felt comfortable with, when I was with them I felt like I was home and now nothing, I was empty.
I pulled the hood over my head and took a deep breath, breathing in the familiar scent.
My hands reached into the pockets, searching for some sort of warm for my cold body. Instead of empty warmth my fingers wrapped around a small fuzzy box.
With an unsteady hand I removed the box and with a flick of my thumb the dark green velvet popped open, inside a shiny silver heart pendant was nestled into the fluffy green.
There were small crystals embedded into the middle, it was beautiful...
With a snap the box was shut, tears were once again dripping down my face.
"I-I should probably return this" I finally managed to drag myself back to where the group was but they had already left, all but one.
"Jake" my heart was ready to stop, I could feel my knees weaken and I was ready to break down in a fit of tears.
"Shh its ok, calm down" his arms wrapped around my body and almost instantly I felt safe, my body stopped quaking and I felt so much better, so much warmer.
"Jake, c-can we just go on one date before I leave? I want my last day to be with you so that I at least had my chance.
That night had been better than anything I could have ever dreamt of. As we finally parted ways he placed one sweet kiss upon my cheek and that in itself was enough to carry to till death.
I stared out the window, a perfect sunrise. Silver glinted in my hand and on my chest. A little silver heart rested against the hollow of my throat and in my hand a sharpened blade I looked into the rising sun, my fingers traced along my left cheek and then pressed gingerly to the pendant, a smile graced my lips.
My heart ached but I felt warm as red spilt through my fingers. With my last breath I uttered the name that would stay with me forever.
They started back at me, those black soulless eyes, my eyes.
And with a smile it leapt forth, twisting the blade into my heart, it smiled watching my face twist and curl in agony and like a kiss goodnight its fangs dug into soft flesh, feeding off the last of my life.
Feverish kisses traced her neck as every nerve in her body burst into flames, no one else could make her feel this way, it was him and only him.
"I love you"
Words so simple, repeated a million times over but yet every time they were muttered her eyes lit up and the butterflies made their way back into her stomach, and every time she said it back her heart felt a little lighter, just knowing that he could see she cared.
*sigh* She rubbed the dirt from her eyes, another loveless night dreaming of the stranger she called her boyfriend and another night he hadn't called her. Just another night of her worrying about him, and wishing she could have a family that understood.
The razor slipped against my skin leaving a trail of liquid red behind it, the pain seeped through my body intensifying the pain that already echoed through my heart.
I wasn't healthy, I never was, beneath the science nerd everyone saw I was simply a broken girl looking for her place in the world, a place that didn't exist.
He left me, the one I had trusted my life with, she left me, my best friend the one who knew everything about me and now it was time I left them, left the world. I had had enough, so much anger and pain; it wasn't healthy for one to feel so much of it. The little demons pranced around my body urging me on, urging me to cut that little bit deeper, to pull a little further and I listen to them, I listened to every painful word they spoke.
My vision blurred and turned red as I watched the blood drip from my body, every last drop of what I was pouring away, back into the earth where it belonged.
"YOU BITCH!" I felt a sharp pain against my cheek and shapes began to form in front of me, blurry shapes that looked all too familiar.
"You promised to never leave me, you promised!" that voice... I knew it...
"Why? Why would you even consider it?" another voice I knew...
I shot out of bed, those voices, Raven and Jake, my best friend and my boy friend, they were here, right here together...
With a gasp I fell back, everything hurt and I felt so weak...
"Jake" my voice broke as the words passed my dry lips.
"Give me one good reason not to leave you"
"I-I love you"
"If you loved me so much you wouldn't of tried killing yourself"
"B-but you left me, alone, scared"
"I never left you, I was always there, how else do you think you got to the hospital? I carried you here in my arms praying I hadn't lost you" I finally noticed the blood dripping from his shirt, my blood and his tearstained face, I had done that.
The cold metal stung my back as I lay there open for all to see, nothing protecting me from the prying eyes of the monsters but I didn't mind, compared to the torture waiting for me this was nothing a mere black spot on white paper.
My heart raced but my breath was even, I wouldn't show my fear because I knew if I did their win would be all the sweeter.
I could feel the warm kisses across my cheek, the comfort in them almost stopped the fear, almost made it seem like a form of heaven and the hands lightly massaging my body, running across my sides, my hips, brushing against my chest and pressing my inner thigh, they made it so hard not to let go and enjoy but I couldn't, I had to stay strong otherwise they would win and they would get what they wanted.
"Jake..." The soft murmur broke the silence, my voice so filled with ecstasy that for a moment even I thought I had given up.
"Do you love me?"
"Ye-YES!" his hand moved up my inner thigh, fingers lightly pressing against my heat.