(A/N: I made a shocking discovery. In the first chapter of this book, Sophia and Macy have different last names. Rest assured, they will be edited when I get around to that…)

PART ONE

4/9/2011

Dear babe,

Prank today! Surprisingly, I woke up an hour early, so it's currently 4:30 AM. I'll update you on the date last night.

(insert update that I won't write cause you guys already know what happens)

When he drove me home and dropped me off, he was all like, "Can we do this again?" and I freaked out and said, "Uh, maybe?" and leaped into the sanctuary known as my home. I mean, I'm not even sure why I don't want to kiss him or date him or anything. Maybe because he was a jerk the first time I hung out with him, or maybe because he smokes or maybe because he's someone I've known personally for about a week.

I have zero experience in the dating scene, except when I was in the sixth grade and asking out girls was "the thing" and I got paired up with this kid named…Michelangelo? I don't even know. He had anger problems, and I broke it off. And then the date with James or whatever the hell his name was.

But back to Tyler. What if we're in item now? Am I even ready for this? What if Mom doesn't approve? This is so confusing! We don't even know that much about each other. Maybe I should take that date and find out. But I can't! YES, SOPHIA, YOU ARE A GROWN WOMAN YOU CAN DO IT.

I guess I'm about to start dating Tyler…

Okay, before I leave—which is about five minutes from now—I'll update you on what's happening. We're going to tear down all the bathroom stall doors in the school! I know, amazing right? Riley's dad is mechanic, so she's supplying the screwdrivers and such. We all are bringing a change of clothes so we can change out of our black clothes and leave the school and "arrive" late. It's going to be so fun!

Ah, I should leave now! Give you info later!

?

We're here and splitting into groups. It'll be Macy and Ash, Riley and me and Kristin and Carol. We have two floors and two washrooms on each floor. If someone comes, the person who sees them texts the rest. We all have our phones on standby. Riley and I get the top floor while the rest do the first because if we can, we'll do the office washrooms as well.

(Switching into present tense guys…I know, it's a diary format book, but this really needs to be written in present tense because it'll be more exciting)

Riley and I begin the stairs to the top floor. The school is so quiet; it sends goosebumps up and down our arms. We don't have a flashlight, and instead use the screens of our phones.

We are in front of the entryway. "Hear anything?" Riley whispers and I feel the urge to slap her; somehow, the sound was too loud. I'm being paranoid. We listen. When we hear nothing, we tiptoe into the hallway. I hear something drop and I latch onto Riley's black wool sweater. She turns around to glare at me. Okay, I'm scared! Cut me some slack.

"It's my phone, scardeycat," she laughs and grabs her phone. With a silent argument with our eyes we decide to split up. She'll do the boys washroom and I'll do the girls. I run down, trying to make my feet as silent as possible. My flats, unfortunately, slap the floor pretty loudly. The halls are very empty-feeling, except these glowing lights right below the EXIT signs.

"What are you?" I wonder, gazing into its blinking red light. I give up.

I growl—because I'm part jaguar-under my breath and enter the girls washroom. Since this one has no window, the whole room is pitch black. I suck in a breath sharply, and I flashback to every horror movie with a murder scene in a washroom. Quickly, I flash my phone around, making sure everything is fine. Wait, what is that? My phone flashes over something bright red, and I resist the urge to scream. I slowly aim my phone toward the corner. Please don't be a dead body, please don't be a dead body, please don't be a dead body—

It's a shiny red necklace. I sigh, and telling myself no more distractions, I set to work. Soon, I'm twirling the screws out like a pro, even humming that annoying song that we're doing for the Talent Show. I'm at the last door when I hear footsteps. I freeze in my work and mid-chorus. Slowly, I back up to the wall. This can't be happening. The footsteps stop in front of the door. I stop breathing. The door is slowly pushed open. Some light floods the room and I blink my eyes quickly, trying to adjust.

"Soph?" someone asks. "It's me, Riley." I let out a breath of relief.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I exclaim-whisper. She rolls her eyes in the dim lighting and steps in.

"Are you done?" She has her arms wrapped around three doors. "We need to hurry and put this stuff away." I nod quickly.

"Yeah, I only have one more." I unscrew the door and let the screw fall with the rest. "Let's go." I grab my doors and follow her into the hallway.

"We should do the actual doors," I muse as we open the janitor's closet with Ash's extra key, "it'll be ten times more uncomfortable."

Riley bobs her head enthusiastically. "That's a great idea!" She piles the doors into the back of the closet and shuts it. "Let's go!"

?

When we're all done, we text the others. "They're nearly done," says Riley, looking up from her phone.

"Bunch of amateurs," I mutter. Riley smiles.

"Okay, let's go!" We start to head for the stairs, when we hear a voice humming, coming from that direction. We freeze in our tracks.

"That's what makes you beautiful!" cries the voice. The person continues to whistle the tune and comes closer. Grabbing Riley's hand, I yank her along towards the boy's washroom. There's a window there. We duck around the corners.

My flats make a slap against the floor. Riley stops breathing. I stop breathing. The whistling stops.

"Anyone there?" shouts the deep voice of Carl, the rude janitor. I slip off my flats and motion Riley to do the same. We're running now, openly. We skid into the boy's washroom.

"Let's grab the tree and climb down," I whisper and she nods. We open the window. In the distance I see Kristen's car, knowing that the rest of the gang is hidden in there. I grab the large branch that scrapes the window and swing my leg out. Once my entire weight is on the tree, the branch starts to bend.

"Not now," I mumble. With my awesome tree climbing skills that I've discovered about two seconds ago, I inch my way (is that why they call them inchworms? Because they "inch"?) to the trunk. It's a long leap. I'm a brave warrior. I jump down and stumble. I dart behind a bush as Riley preforms the same jump, but ten times smoother.

"Let's go, Sokka!" I shout. She glares at me and puts a finger to her lips.

"Shh!" she whispers. "Besides, why am I Sokka?"

"You're Sokka because you're useless but there for comical relief. I'm Aang because…I save people."

"Okay," she snorts and we grab our bikes from behind the building.

?

Dear thingy,

Wow. So, that was fun. It's still Friday though, and after school I have to go to the Purple Hippo. On a brighter note. I'm still alive. We're all in Kristen's car (our bikes are in her trunk, but I'm worried for Geisha because she's sort of claustrophobic. And other bikes that have better features make her green with envy…. Yes, my bike has a name, and yes, she has real emotions. Stop.) We're going to a Starbucks to have breakfast.

?

We're in line at the moment and everyone is bleary and tired. I mean, work is sort of the bomb, but come on. School is worse. I mean, at least you can quit work. You can't quit school…not if you have a parent who will choke you if you do. I know, I know. You'll be homeless. But being happy and homeless is better than being sad and home…full? I don't know.

And that folks, is Sophia Evans' opinion on Life.

?

Finished my cream cheese bagel with bacon a few moments ago. Yes, I'm hungry. No, I'm not a pig. Not a big one, anyway. Macy is elegantly nibbling on a low-calorie muffin. If you can elegantly nibble on things. If you can, Macy is doing it. I mean, do you wipe after every single nibble? And if she keeps it up, we'll be here for hours.

Why doesn't the world make sense?

Ashley already ate at home. Kristen and Riley are sharing some sort of egg salad. Carol doesn't eat—we all secretly suspect she's anorexic. But we're all too lazy and uncaring to actually check. We're really good friends, though. Like, once, I saved Macy from drowning. Yeah, she's a lifeguard during the summer, but she was wearing a dress. She nearly fell the dozen feet to the lake.

Sophia Evans a.k.a. Masked Serpent. Because snakes are cool. Hero of the small town she lives in. I updated the gang on the date. They were impressed. In fact, Macy was all for it since he'd be my rebound guy. This makes no sense, because I was never with Brandon. She's such an idiot. Kristen says it's the best way to practice for the real deal. Oh Kristen, oh so serious. Riley was sort of hesitant at first, but she got really into it, telling we could go on doubles dates.

No.

Ashley was super happy for me, because she thought Tyler was a good guy—save for the fact he smoked regularly. But I could change that! Then she disappeared into fiction romance stories land. As if.

Carol was impressed and said we could go on a quadruple date. Macy, Carol, Riley and I. I know this can only end in disaster. I voiced all my concerns, but none of them listened. They've moved on to better subjects. Why am I friends with these people? (Note how I'm questioning my life a lot lately, need to stop)

*Random conversation of the gang*

Macy (M): Okay, guys. Act natural, I don't want us to be caught. I could be expelled.

Riley (R): Then why'd you do it?

M: Because Sophia indirectly forced me.

Kristen (K): How? Macy, don't be shallow. She dared you. You could've taken the chicken card…like you always do. (Snicker)

M: Thanks a lot and I do NOT. I'll let you know that I've kissed plenty of guys during dares.

R: We didn't mention kissing, Mace…

Carol (C): I'm going to go fix my makeup.

Ashley (A): Guys, lay off. Besides, Macy will be able to kiss guys at Soph's party, right?

K: Wow, Ash. Way to pressure Macy. (Laugh)

A: Sophia?

Sophia (S): Did you guys see that bird fly by? It had WINGS.

R: Sophia, how old are you again?

M: Sophs, we are playing seven minutes and heaven and such, right?

S: What's that?

(Silence)

S: Just kidding, I'm not a goof. I know that you…are put under a drug that sends you into heaven. And you spend seven minutes with your grandmother…right?

(Silence)

S: Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys. I know you make out in a closet for seven minutes with a guy. Jeez, I'm not a total dunce.

M: Oh my God, I was going to have a heart attack. I seriously thought you didn't know what it was.

R: Yeah, I know. I mean, Soph's not the great with life stuff.

K: Remember that time she thought coke—cocaine-was a new type of coffee at Starbucks and ordered some? The look on the lady's face!

S: That was two years ago! I was an innocent thirteen year old!

A: Guys, she never answered the question. Will there be some seven minutes in heaven at your party?

M: Wow, Sophia. You're really good at avoiding the question!

EVERYONE (but Sophia): MACY.

M: Will there be kissing?

S:…I guess. I don't know. Do you guys want to make out with random people?

EVERYONE: YES.

S: Your life. Hope you catch some disease. That one on that commercial where everyone is happy and they all smile at each other and it transfers to each other and they're still happy and your mom pulls out the medicine like she carries mouth disease medicine around all the time and she gives it to everyone and everything is alright. Hey, we should buy some, in case we catch it—

EVERYONE: Shut up, Sophia!

?

So we entered school all unsuspicious. We knew something was wrong when we saw some school prefects directing the students into the auditorium for a meeting. Some people asked to use the washroom—unable to keep it in. Oh my God, I have to see this.

I'm sneaking away now, trying to see their reactions.

*Conversations of some weird people*

Weirdo #1: Oh my God? What happened? I need to pee?

Weirdo #2: Whoever did this is sick?

W#1: OMG, I can't keep it in?

*Insert horde of girls who also need the washroom*

?

OH MY GOD, I'M PEEING FROM LAUGHTER! EVERYONE SCREAMED WHEN THEY SAW THE CHICK EMPTYING HER BOWELS. THIS IS HAS TO BE BEST PRANK EVER.

We found a seat in the auditorium. Everyone knows what happened, and everyone seems to think that the jocks did it. No way am I letting them take my credit! Besides, they're too lazy to wake up so early—and pull off a brilliant prank.

"The jocks are too lazy to wake up so early to do it—since someone did it in the morning—and they're too dumb to pull off an artful prank like this," says a voice behind m—wait. That voice is very familiar. She's back!

Linda's back! I mean, I knew she's been back since Wednesday, but I haven't seen her in a while. She's two rows behind me. She's very carefully hidden whatever scars she has under layers of foundation and sweaters. Did she become a mind reader since I was gone? Can you read minds when you're scarred—literally? Is this God's way of being like "Sorry for the shitty life, here's a mind reading power"? I need to be scarred now, ASAP.

Oh God, then she must know about the prank! Must distract her! Think of…think of cats howling in pain and rage. That should her shoo her out of my head. . MWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

"Why do you look so constipated?" asks Macy.

"Because Linda can read minds—think of dying things." Macy gives me a weird look and says she's sitting with someone else. Who by the way, is probably Brandon…

And I'm right. Ashley joins me.

The microphone is screeching the way it always does right before a speech. People always put their hands to their ears. Why? It's not like it's going to explode your brains. And covering your ears won't make the "pain" go away. I'm very mature and keep my hands—

Ouch. That one hurt. Stop judging me! We all have our hypocrite moments. Mine are just really ironic. I will report everything Principal Poopy-face says.

"Hello students of McKinley High School," he begins, coughing a lot, "this morning, a student—or many students—pulled a terrible prank. They entered school grounds unpermitted and vandalized the school completely. Our janitors are quickly working to fix the problem, but until then, you'll have to, erm, hold your urges in." Oh my God, he totally needs to piss. His legs are crossing over uncomfortably—shoot, missing some speech.

"Whoever knows any details about the accident please come to the front desk immediately. The rest of you return to your school lives normally. Rest assured; we WILL discover who's behind this. You're dismissed."

A lot of people grumble and groan because assemblies are the best. If you get the right spot, you can text, miss class, and sit in comfortable seats. This one was short.

At least I missed most of French!

?

In Math. My least favorite subject. As per usual, we have the lovely substitute. I don't even know her name. I've had her for maybe a month now. What the hell happened to our teacher? At this point, I've forgotten the gender of our teacher. What is wrong with me?

*Conversation between Hater and Sophia*

Sophia (S): Wassup?

Hater (H): What is it, Sophia?

S: What happened to our teacher?

H: You mean you don't know? (mumble) dumber than…thought…

S: No. That's why I'm asking, idiot.

H: Don't use such language on me!

S: I said idiot…how OLD are you?

H: Hallway, now!

*End of conversation*

What the HELL is wrong with my life? I swear, when I get around to reading the entries, I'll realize how weird my life is. Sigh.

Lunch soon! Let's go on an adventure!

?

Adventuring the halls of my stupid high school. I can hear Maryam—a really ugly, but nice janitor—snarl as she's trying to put the newly-bought screws into place. I'm feeling pretty bad for her. Maybe I should help?

*Conversation between Maryam and Sophia*

Sophia (S): Hey, Maryam. Need help?

Maryam (M): Oh, you scare me there for second, Sophia. No, no; I will manage. What you doing outside class?

S: Got kicked out. Are you sure?

M: Yes, yes. Sophia, you get in trouble too much. You need to study to be doctor. I didn't have chance like this. Education is priceless. Or should I say pricefull? (Chortle) Besides, my beautiful princess, they will know who did this to Maryam—give her hard job!

S: How? How will they know? (RED ALERT, ALL MISSIONS ABORT)

M: We have surveillance camera in school. After I finish this, I go check in stage who did this!

S: Oh, well, I'll go now. Bye, Maryam!

*End of conversation*

I understand now! Oh my God, that blinking light was a camera! I would've been fine if I hadn't stupidly looked in on and SPOKE. I swear, sometimes I want to slap MYSELF. Is there such a thing as face-palming yourself? I will now.

Okay, I know what I need to do. I'll ask Ash for her locker combo, get her keys, get on the stage as fast possible, and erase the footage. Easy peasy, right?

Right?

?

At Ash's locker, got her combo. Twirl, and we're in!

Wow, this thing is a mess. Um…

FOUND IT. Okay, stage now.

Oh God, Math is going to end very soon. Oh well. Hated that biatch anyway.

?

I can hear people outside, heading to the caf. Which key? What the hell? I can't—

?

In. HOW THE HELL DO YOU WORK THESE THINGS? I don't get it. THERE'S A PASSWORD. Maryam clearly controls these things. Think, Sophia, think. What does she love?

Her home country.

Quickly, I type in Yemen. I'm waiting impatiently as it loads—SHIT.

?

At lunch, under a table. Yes, under a table. You heard…er, read me right. I'm writing this as quickly as I can. So, the computer was weird. It didn't have a screen with the usual shortcuts. I searched for a while, eventually discovering the (security camera; typical Maryam) icon. I searched up a few hours ago, and erased all the footage. Then, out of pure paranoidness (is that a word?) I wiped the keyboard and mouse of my fingerprints. Okay, CSI does that to a girl. Sue me.

But then I heard footsteps and hightailed it out into the other exit, it leads outside, but ended up tripping on a bunch of Theatre stuff (NEVER AGAIN WILL I WILL PAY THE EIGHT DOLLARS FOR THEIR PLAYS, THEY SCREWED ME OVER). It was Maryam and Principal Poopyhead.

I started to blend into the stuff, when Maryam looks over. She sees me and her eyes widen. I eye beg her and she narrows her eyes. 'I'm so screwed' was all I could think. Then Maryam saved me.

"Mr, I think someone came in and delete it," she said slowly. The principal got pissed off and shouted at her as if it was her fault—she even bent her head for affect! What the hell is that guy's problem? Eventually, he picked up his sick-in-the-butt self and walked out. Maryam turned to look at me.

"Why you do this, Sophia?" she asked sternly. I stuttered for a few minutes and then told her everything. When I mean everything, I mean everything from the beginning of this book to the end. By the time I was done, there was only five minutes until lunch was done. (I am in the five minutes, trying to write this fast and hoping Brandon won't fine me.)

"Sophia, you dig self big hole. But you filling it up. Princess, don't lie to yourself or anyone else. If you feel something, tell it to someone." I snickered a bit, because I'm fifteen and she said "if you feel something". I'm not sixteen quite yet, guys!

Lunch is over! I'll explain more in the locker room as to why I was under a lunchtable.

?

Brandon managed to corner me unfortunately. He was originally searching for me during lunch—according to Macy's urgent text—and I thought he wanted to talk about my ex-crush on him. A girl's has got it her limits, okay?

Turns out it was about something completely different. He wanted to know where Tyler was. Tyler's missing apparently. I cannot fathom what crazy things he must be doing at the moment. Now that I think about it, weird that he's not here of all days. Should I text him? No. No clinginess.

Look at me, being very pro with boys.

4/14/2011

Dear heart-wrenching-beauty,

I'm sorry! I'm really sorry I haven't written in here for a while. I lost you for a while there. A lot went on, and I forgot to look for you. It was weird not writing my thoughts down, and I think I drove my friends insane with my freaky babbling. You know, the kind that we do here.

The weekend was spent practicing for the rehearsal on Wednesday. Which is today. I found you under a pile of clothes while…rearranging the mess in my room.

It seems Tyler has fallen off the face of the planet. He hasn't texted anyone in days, nor has he been at school. Shoot. What if my kiss was bad? But what if he liked it so much, if he saw my face he'd be tempted to just kiss it? Oh God, I've ruined a man.

Sigh. Macy has driven us to the border of serial killer-ness with her crazy attempts to turn us into dancers. Ashley and I have to be the worst though. We're both clumsy, so we trip a lot. Oh well. On Monday, after school, we went to a costume shop and bought the appropriate horrendous yellow dresses. Mine is simple though—I feel bad for Ash, who has this weird thing that looks like an old lady barfed on her legs and arm.

Our turn is coming up! Wish us luck!

?

Well.

That went swimmingly. We managed to pull off the performance without any…obvious hitches. Okay, I tripped while stepping down, but you know what? I think the crew gave us the loudest applause. So ha.

Macy's happy. Next week is the real deal. Friday is my birthday. We finished giving out invites, and I eventually got up the nerve to text Tyler:

*Conversation between Sophia Evans and Tyler Campbell*

Sophia (S): Hey, come to my birthday on Friday? It starts at nine. No presents. You know where I live.

(Five minutes)

S: Or, you know, don't come.

(Five minutes)

S: Well, I can uninvite you.

(Five minutes)

S: I'm going to slam the door on your face.

*End of conversation*

Dating him? Not one of my brightest ideas… His cuteness factor went down by ten percent. Doesn't respond to texts. Not that I expect it to respond to me—he's been ignoring me. Just that as a potential girlfriend-ee, I should get more…respect.

Whatever.

SO EXCITED FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

A/N: No proofread.

Nearly thirteen pages. Halfway through this, I realized that I'd have thirty pages for a chapter. It's going to be split in half.

I love my little boat of fans, no matter how small, you guys are the people who keep my going. Expect another part very soon!

Fafa

xxx