Chapter Twenty Five

Antonio:

He had seen Ella's face grow pale, but at first, he thought nothing of it. He just felt that she was too overwhelmed with how much cake she had consumed in front of him, that she was embarrassed.

He was only a little right.

As soon as she put her hands over her mouth, he knew what was happening.

The problem she had spoken to him about was acting up again. He knew she did not mean to do it; she said so herself that she only did it in secret.

It was clear that her body was acting up against food on its own now.

Though he wanted to try and help her stop herself, he knew that if he didn't move, she would end up throwing up all over the place.

And he didn't want her going through that too.

He stayed at the booth, staring blankly ahead at the empty seat in front of him. He glanced over at the washroom door, where Ella had run into about half an hour ago.

Where is she? He thought to himself.

He wanted so badly to barge into that bathroom and see if she was okay.

He wanted to run in, grab Ella and hold her in his arms so that she knew she was safe with him there.

That she didn't need to hurt herself.

He got up out of the booth and casually walked over to the bathroom door. He leaned against the wall, pressing his hear to it in hopes of maybe hearing something that would tell him Ella was at least okay.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ella stood in front of him, a look of confusion spread across her face.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I..." Antonio started, but he didn't know how to answer her.

He was sure that if he said 'I was just trying to listen in through the washroom door to see if I could hear you' would make her think he was a weirdo, and he sure as hell didn't want that.

Instead of answering her, he just sighed and shook his head.

"Nothing." He said.

"Alright, if you insist." She said. "Should we go now?"

Antonio nodded and stuck out his hand, motioning for her to go first. She did and they walked in silence for about two minutes when Ella sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

"Nothing." She replied back.

"Nothing?" He asked again.

"Yeah, nothing." She replied again.

"The word nothing is kind of ironic, don't you think?"

She looked at him, confused. "What?" She asked.

"We usually say nothing to stop us from saying the something that we really want to say. Nothing almost never actually means nothing, which is why it's ironic."

"Well in this case, nothing actually means nothing."

"Alright, if you're sure." He replied, smiling at her as they continued walking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, sounding rather annoyed.

"Nothing." He said, his smile growing wider.

Ella sighed furiously as she stopped in her tracks and placed her hands on her hips.

"That's not funny." She said, but he could see a small smile start to creep up over the annoyed expression she carried.

He turned to look at her and laughed.

"Isn't it? I think I just proved my point." He replied.

She rolled her eyes at him again and sighed.

"Congratulations, but you're still wrong about my nothing. It really did mean nothing."

"Sure." He said. "Whatever floats your boat."

He placed his hands in his pockets, turned on his heel and started walking down the sidewalk again. He could hear Ella stomping towards him, clearly annoyed and trying to catch up.

As soon as she was back at his side, they both walked in silence for a few minutes before Ella finally spoke.

"You know, it's hard." She said, her voice sounding like a whisper. "I try so hard to stop it, or control it, but now it's like my body is not my body anymore."

He stopped walking again to look at her. She had her head down and had wrapped her arms around herself, almost like she needed comfort but could only find it within her.

"Stop what?" He asked.

She shook her head and wouldn't look at her.

"Ella, stop what?" He asked again, this time a little more forcefully.

"You know what." She said again, this time looking up at him so that he could see her face, and the tears that were slowly trickling down her cheeks.

"Ella, the only way you can get better is by talking to someone."

"There's no point, nobody's going to listen..."

"I'll listen." He said, as he got closer to her and placed his arms around her shoulder.

She looked up into his eyes and he felt like at that moment, they were one. He could feel the sadness and depression that had overcome her these past few weeks. He could feel the rumbling of her empty stomach, begging for food, but could also sense the feeling of nausea that came with the consumption of it.

He could feel everything, including the pain that she hid so well.

At that moment, he couldn't help but hug her tightly. Embrace her just so that she wouldn't have to feel alone anymore, sort of like the hug was a bridge and Ella was a worn out traveller with heavy backpacks weighing her down, trying to cross it and get to the person calling her name on the other side. He was the person waiting to help take the load off at the other side, all she had to do was keep trying to cross it.

"I'll always listen." He said again, this time kissing her head in hopes that she could feel he was telling the truth.

He could feel Ella loosen up a little and sigh deeply.

"I know." She whispered, as she wrapped her arms around him this time and rested her head on his shoulders.

He didn't know how long exactly they stayed that way, but he saw several cars pass and plenty of people walk by. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours before they finally pulled apart, but time didn't feel like it mattered at that moment.

All that mattered was that Ella was okay and she knew that she could talk to him.

When they finally pulled apart, he kissed her gently on the lips and took her hand in his. They walked together in silence until they finally got to Ella's front door, but it wasn't an awkward silence.

It was a beautiful silence.

Ella sighed as she turned to look up at Antonio again, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Thanks." She said.

"It was nothing." He said, and they both laughed.

She looked back at her front door and shook her head.

"I can't go back in there. That's where this whole thing started. It gets worst when I'm in there." She said, and he could sense that she was on the verge of tears again.

Antonio squeezed her hand comfortingly and smiled down at her.

"It's okay." He told her. "It was bad before because you were alone, you're not alone anymore."

"You don't know my family." She told him. "It's not like when I'm with you."

"Maybe you should tell them."

She laughed.

"Yeah, right. They'll just laugh it off and say I'm over exaggerating and being dramatic"

"You don't know that." He replied. "Maybe this time it'll be different."

"Different. Sure." She replied, sceptical.

He laughed.

"Would it help if I was there beside you?" He asked.

She sighed.

"I don't know, don't you think that'll be a little bit awkward?" She asked.

Antonio shook his head.

"No, I think it'll be fine." He replied, squeezing her hand again. "Come on, we're united now." He said, lifting their interlinked hands in the air to prove his point.

Ella laughed.

"Alright." She said. "But if this goes downhill, I'm blaming it on you."

"Fair enough." he said, as he lead them to her front door.

Ella took a deep breath as she placed her hand on the doorknob and pushed it opened.

They stepped inside and found her entire family sitting in the living room, watching a movie while eating popcorn.

A man, that looked to be Ella's father, looked up from the TV, saw their hands and glared at Antonio.

"Ella, who's this?" He asked.

Antonio smiled politely.

"Hello, sir. My name's Antonio, I'm a friend of Ella's." He replied.

"Mhm." He replied. "Didn't know friends held hands like lovers these days."

Ella's face turned red and she let go of Antonio's hand.

"Mom, dad, I have to tell you something." She started, but her mother shushed her.

"Not now, Ella, we're watching a movie." She stated. "You can tell us after."

"But mom, it's important." Ella began, but her mom once again told her to be quiet.

"Let her speak." He father said, as he looked back at Ella and stood up himself. "What's wrong, Ella?"

He looked genuinely concerned about what Ella was about to say.

Antonio saw her take a deep breath and he nodded at her, trying to send her a silent message that everything would be okay.

"Dad." She said. "I have a problem."

Her father raised an eyebrow, and Antonio could see his face grow pale.

"A problem?" He said. "What kind of a problem?"

"I think I'm bulimic." She finally blurted out loud.

And the whole room went quiet.