i should just
give up
give give give
give up
i should just
forget this idea, thought, revelation
this lust, feelings for you
that probably aren't even
real, but i don't want to, let me
close my eyes and
imagine you, your hands
intertwined with mine,
you tear me apart and
don't even know it, but
now i'm making progress, meager,
weak progress,
and i realize, i look and think and
i realize
you could have
anyone you want
in fact, you already have someone
even if some say it won't last,
with my luck
you'll marry her
and i'll become the third
in a line of old cat-ladies
all alone, or maybe not,
but probably
the world seems to have decided
that i can't be happy, truly
happy, for more than a moment at
best, and this hummingbird heart,
feeling of hope and hopeful feelings,
this chance, possibility that i've begun my
descent towards,
has outstayed its welcome.
i'm sorry.