And then I gave in,
Crack beneath the cavalcade of ugliness,
A million beams not simply breaking,

But splintering
Disintigrating
Unmaking

All of this.

I cracked in a way I'd previously ridiculed,
Such a public display of such private failures;
I gave the entire world a front seat
To the ugliest show on Earth-

One half-man, half-lie
Falling to pieces
Beneath the brittle composure

One little joke
Weeping itself to bits,
The punchline kicking the dead horse

The joke isn't on me,

The joke is in me.

Crawling through misplaced veins,
Through wasted lungs
And an excuse for a heart.

The joke is in the last drop
In the last bottle
That I can never seem to suck out.

The joke is in every filter
Of every cigarette
That does absolutely nothing for me

But hasten the inevitable,
The probable
And oh yes,
The hopeful.

Bring me salvation,
Shrinkwrapped and coiled in foil
And I'll fuck you back to the stone age.

Give me The Answer,
Measured out in quarts and pints,
And I'll sell my soul to you.

But try and hold my hand,
Try to put this thing back together,
And you'll find yourself so tangled
In this fucking mess
That you wont see where my failures end
And your losses begin.

Oh, my dearest mourner
My sobbing love,
My shaking dream;

Why would you waste it all on a waste?