A Dog's Lament

By Brian H. Stanley

(As dictated by Prof. Annie G. R. Dogg, PhD)

Bow wow wow, bark arf bow wow.

Arf arf bark bark bow wow, grrr arf bow arf bark bark arf. Bark bark howl bark arf woof woof arf bark bark grrr arf? Grr arrf bark bark bark snarl bark, woof arf bow wow wow snarl bark arf grrr bow wow grr arr arf bark bark. Bark, grr arf bark bark bark bark, growl snarl woof woof bark arf growl bark.

"Bark bark, woof arf grrr arf grrr bark?" Bark growl growl.

"Bark," bark growl snarl snort bark. "Bark growl growl snarl arf."

"Bark! Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark!" Arf snarl.

Grrrrrrrrrr! Arf! Bark snarl bark bark growl arf woof bark! Growl snarl woof bark, bark arf growl growl (bark arf woof woof) snarl growl bark snort.

"Arf arf arf arf!" grr snarl bark bark. "Bark arf, growl woof snarl bark!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" bark arf.

Bark arf growl, snarl snarl snort howl bark bark. Bark hooooowl bark grr snarl growl snort bark bark hamburger bark grrrr arf arf. Bark, bark bark arf bark! Grr whine whine whimper howl, bark woof arf howl whine. Bark, bark! Grr, arf! Growl growl growl snort growl. Grrr! Arrrgh! Woof pant pant pant growl bark howl whine, grr growl... bark bark snarl bark.

"Snort," bark arf.

Whine... whine whimper howl, bark arf, whine howl bark bark whimper. Howl howl whine whine whimper howl? Grr! Bark bark bark! Woof! Bark bark snort bark! Arf arf arf! Pant pant pant, bark!

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!" snort bark.

"Hooooooooooooooooooooowl!" bark arf snort.

Bow wow bark , bark bark woof arf grr bark bark snort bark. Bark growl growl, bark arf snort snort sigh bark bark snort. Bark bark arf, woof bow bark arf bark bow wow arf bark. Bark bark pant pant, bark bark sigh. Snort grr arrgh, bark growl growl whine bark. Bark growl whimper?

Bark! Bark growl whimper bark!

Bark bark, growl sigh bark arrgh grr sigh bark snore.