When I am alone I have the time to think

I am so close to tears with every blink

I usually like to be on my own

But recently I haven't been in the zone

I start to feel so out of place

I want to see your face

You find ways to bring back my smile and comfort my soul

But when I am lonely, I have a hole

I don't like to be a bother

But when I am at this stage I feel so sour

My body shakes uncontrollably and I cry myself to sleep

I don't want people to see me weep

I smile but you notice it's fake

I don't know how much more of this I can take

I have so many built up hidden negativity

But you would try to tell me it is your duty

You are my shield but you can't always protect me

So when you are gone I start to see

I notice my faults and issues

If I bother you I feel like you are only there to be used

I will feel guilty and more upset

You have been my light in my darkness after weeks of when we met

But so many times I just want you to myself

And with no one else

I don't want to be a crazy girl who is obsessed

I want you to still be with your friends at best

I try to distract myself with stuff

But at night my mind and body have had enough

I learned that I am clingy

And the realization irritating and petty

But it seems my issues with myself are dominant when I have you

I get scared for the day we are through

Alone is when I start to feel bad

Alone is when I feel sad

Alone is when I can think about me

Alone is when I no longer feel free