A small drabble that came to mind in bio class Jan. 10, when the P.A. System announced that one of our gym teacher died of cancer. Though I didn't actually have him for any classes, he seemed like a kind teacher even from a distance.

R.I.P. Mr. Hnatiuk, you will be missed.

Sometimes we ask ourselves what would happen if a person close to us died.

I asked myself that several times.

I still don't know the answer.

I've seen my aunt die; she was close to me. The only thing was that we drifted apart ever since she moved to London. So when she came back, she was more of a familiar stranger to me than the sweet, loving aunt I once knew.

She died of ovarian cancer after suffering through many tests and the like for five months. It was frustrating.

Tears fell from my eyes when I arrived at the house where she died; a dark atmosphere hung around it. But I didn't cry.

When I think about it, I don't know whether that was because I was overwhelmed by the death of my aunt, or because of the atmosphere of people chattering all around the house where the funeral was held.

I still think it was the latter.

During that funeral, I sat and watched my cousins. All of them were crying. I didn't understand. They haven't seen their Mother for six years, as have I, and yet they still wept. Would I have done that if it was my Mother?

Try not to think bad of me. I am a person that's never been close to death, so you can't scold me about my ever growing curiosity about dying and living.

Life and Death are two sides of a coin. There's not one without the other. You are born, given a name, a life, you make use of that life and there comes a time where you have to go. To just have to accept death.

But why are people afraid of death?

I'm not. I'm afraid of the way I'm going to feel upon Death's door. Will I die a painful death? Get shot? Stabbed? Or even poisoned? Or will I die peacefully from an old age? While I sleep? These questions plague my mind about death...other than that of how I'd feel about other people dying. Of course, I've thought of about what a person might be thinking during their last breath. Were they regretting the life they've lived? Were they asking for another chance? To turn back time and redo a mistake they once made? Or were they happy with what they've had? Whether or not it was a peaceful or unbearable life.

So many questions, not enough answers. Actually, I don't have any kind of answers to any of those questions. It really is frustrating.

So, how do you feel about the death of a person? A person you just know, or a person close to you. Have you ever thought about that?

On morning of January 10th at one o'clock, a teacher from my school died. I wasn't close with him, though I've talked to him, once or twice. He was the coach of the school's basketball team. A gym teacher. But still a person. In the school, everyone had wept...I still didn't understand why. I passed by a friend, she was sobbing, I had wanted to ask why! But that would only have sounded rude. So I kept quiet as I entered the gym were everyone in the school was. I walked to my friends, one of them was crying, the others were just sad. I was emotionless. Why? I had asked myself.

Why didn't I feel sad about it? Am I really just emotionless? Or maybe I did feel something but was a bit overwhelmed by the questions bombarding my mind. I wonder, up until this point in time, here in class as my teacher talked about the passed teacher. He was young, she'd say, lively and feisty.

If he was young, why'd he have to die then? Why'd anyone have to die? Is it because of God? Just because He said so? Isn't that a unfair to the hardworking people that have died before they enjoyed life? Why?

Why do things like this have to happen?

Why does time have to flow so fast?

A person's life is too short. Especially at that time while he is at an inch from death does he think of how pathetically short that life is.

These thoughts would probably mean balderdash to a naïve person. Even to a wise person. They'd probably think me crazy and say I spout nonsense, and that death would come when it is time. But why would it come? Can't we prevent that? And when is that time?

Again, just questions with no real answer.

Everything has a reason. People would tell me. Then why do people die? What reason is there for that kind of cruel thing to happen?

'It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.' A phrase that echoed in my head.

Maybe everything doesn't really have to have a reason. Maybe they just happen 'cause they have to. Whether you like it or not.

But then again, death is a perplexing concept, but so is life. And without one, there won't be the other.

What happened with the site? I'm confused, I can't edit my stories properly. :( Can someone explain?