I thought my world had ended when they told you,
But you told me no,
So my life goes on.
But that doesn't mean that I can't stop asking the questions
Why you? Why couldn't I fix you?
In the beginning I said I'd look after you,
And you told me that you knew.
You told me that you were scared,
And it broke my heart that I couldn't help,
But you said that I was there, and that was enough.
But you're not here, not now.
When I close my eyes, I go back to that night.
The last night, and I can still see you,
Laughing, smiling, and then I see the waves.
I remember walking, letting the ocean lap our shins,
Both knowing what the morning heralded.
I remember how you tilted your head towards me
So I could see your crooked smile.
Then how I knew it was your last
So I tilted my head away so you couldn't see my tears.
I couldn't tell you it's hard for me too.
You tell me it's okay, we both know you're wrong.
I close my eyes and you take my hand,
And we it whisper together. 1, 2, 3.
I feel you breathe, and then feel you sink.
My mouth is filled with salt,
As I begin to lose you.
I breathe in the air before joining you in the depths,
And I watch until the bubble stop.
Then I begin my life without you with a gasp of air,
And I know I won't love again,
Because I couldn't fix you.