I hated to admit it, but I felt some sort of… relief when I felt his fingers close around my wrist. I wanted him to see them. I wanted him to know how lost I was. I needed him to help. But when he finally began to move my wrist, I wasn't so sure anymore.
I tugged my arm, trying to stop him before he saw. I struggled with him for a second, trying to break my arm free. One minute I was struggling away from him. The next, melting into his arms as he slid the black jacket sleeve up my arm.
"H-h-hun." I looked at his now pale face as he stared at my arms reduced to pale flesh covered in swollen red lines. His hands began to tremble against me, his face showing his hurt and confusion.
"Brandon" I whispered, attempting to hold back tears. "I- I- I'm so s- s-sorry".
He didn't say anything for a while. He didn't even move. He just kept still and stared at my battered arm.
A few hours later…
My eyes were burning. My wrists hurting. My head thumping. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest, yet I was still alive. It felt as if my body were tearing itself apart to cope with my hearts absence.
I went limp in his arms at the river. I'm pretty sure I passed out, because the last thing I remembered was crying uncontrollably in his arms. Now, somehow I was wrapped up in my blanket in my room, with him holding me in bed.
I looked up into his eyes and what I saw hurt more than anything. He wasn't mad at me, I expected him to be, but he wasn't. He was just scared. He was scared that I was going to let myself bleed out one day, or that I'd cut to deep. He was scared I was going to leave him.
I went to pull my arms out of the blanket, but they stung, but not in the pleasurable way. It must have shown how sore I was on my face, because he gulped and said.
"I'm sorry, I cleaned them up. I didn't want them to get infected."
Ignoring the pain, I pulled my arms free and saw what he'd done. My jacket was replaced with what looked like layers of bandages. My arms were covered in them from the bend of my elbow to my knuckles. They felt somewhat, wet. He must have put some cream or something on them.
I shifted my body, reaching my arms down to feel my thighs.
"I wrapped them too." His voice was louder than before, but still filled with worry.
"How did you know?" Now my voice was the one that was hushed.
"You winced when I went to pick you up, so I just assumed and well, you know."
I nodded. "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you." His finger brushed my lip, and then his lips kissed mine.
"I love you, remember that, okay?"
"I love you too." I felt a single tear slide down my cheek as he pulled me into his embrace once more.