The first step to snagging a sex god is to make a very good first impression. You must stand out and seem interesting enough so that they'll want to pursue you. Dina suggested the dirty approach.
" Okay so you call up, saying that you're a sex phone operator. I once found the number to one on his cell phone, so just say that you're going to give him a freebie for his long service." She instructed. " And then when he tells you his name, you gasp and say ' I knew I recognized your voice!'. Then you offer silence in exchange for sexual favors. It's fool proof!"
" I think you've been watching to much porn!" I felt my face turn red from laughing and also from humility. I was uncomfortable with sexual things. My parents raised me to be a virgin for life.
" No!" She pulled my face up to look at her. The serious expression she wore sent me into another fit of giggles. " Guys like this stuff."
" I can't!" My cheeks burned with the thought of it.
" Yes you can!"
" He'll think I'm a whore!"
" He'll think you're a free spirit!"
Before I could refuse, she already dialed the number and placed it next to my ear. I was still in hysterics.
" Stop laughing and sound sexy damn it!" Dina hissed.
" I don't think he's going to answer." I whispered, grinning like a maniac. To my luck the beeping ceased.
" Hello?"
I froze. Dina's eyes practically popped out of her sockets. I don't think she was ever expecting him to answer either. I reminded myself that this was role. I just needed to play the part. I took a deep breathe and in an instant I tuned into the calm side of myself.
" Hi stud, this is Moira from 1-800-Raw-Talk." Stud? I almost began cracking up once more. " You've been a naughty boy haven't you? You've called so many time, we thought that you deserve a freebie."
There was silence. I almost cried at the stupidity that I had immersed myself in.
" Oh." Came his smooth voice, almost in a groan. " Moira was it?"
" Uh-huh, you sound so sexy when you say my name." My face turned red again. It wasn't helping any that Dina was doubled over in laughter. " You want to tell me yours?"
" And why would I do that sweet heart?" He replied in a husky tone. I nearly gagged.
Bewildred, I turned to Dina for help. She started doing some pelvic thrust.
" Um. . ." I panicked. " So I-"
Dina began to mouth "oh yeah."
" - can moan your name when you rake. . ." Dina shook her head and mouthed another word. " OH! Ram into me?"
He moaned. Oh Mah Gawd.
" What are you like Moira?"
" . . .Shy. This is my first time." I responded timidly, which was true in a way.
" Are you scared?"
Dina urged me to whimper. I did, much to my mortification. But he seemed to like it. Ew, what a sadist.
" Yes. . ." I trailed off, not really sure where I was going with this.
" It's okay baby, I'll go real slow."
If this is how guys actually talk to you when you have sex, I don't think I ever want to lose my virginity.
I moaned again, which almost ended in a spout of laughter that I had managed to keep down.
" It's Keenan, sweetie." He grunted. I think he was actually getting off on this.
" Keenan?" I attempted my best tone of surprise. " I knew that I recognized your voice!"
There was silence." Who are you?"
" Uh, no one, really. . ." I squirmed. I don't think I liked this plan anymore.
" Moira. . ." He mouthed. I heard some page flipping. Oh shit, he went for the yearbook. Wait, was he in his room? Do guys just randomly start masturbating willy nilly? Ew, did he grab the yearbook with his sex filled hands? So many questions left unanswered. . . " I've seen you before. . ."
I floundered for anything to save me from this situation. Dina, I hate your guts.
" You can't back away now! Just go with it!" Dina hissed.
" So Moira, you're a phone sex operator?" His voice was filled with amusement. I knew that he was ready to tell all of his little buddies about this.
" No. . ." I bit my lip and thought of a lie. Suddenly I realized that maybe we should have planned this out to the end." Sort of. . . I just needed to do this to pay for my moms. . .operation."
Dina snorted.
But he was silent again. I hoped there was a heart under all of that muscle and narcissism even though my lie sounded apathetic to my own ears.
" An operation huh?"
" Yeah. . .She has. . .breast cancer." Oh God, smite me now.
" Please don't tell anyone. . ." I lowered my voice until it was very soft. " I'll do anything."
" Anything?" He seemed to perk up at this.
" I won't tell anyone you called here. . ." I offered but I knew he wouldn't leave it at that.
" I don't care if anyone knows about me, but this may be a problem for you." I could feel him smirk through the phone.
" You wouldn't tell right?" I really hoped I was laying it on thick enough.
" No, but I think I'll need some compensation." I rolled my eyes. What a jerk.
" A-alright. . ." I whimpered. I heard him clear his voice as if he was straining himself. He probably didn't get to finish. I almost bust up laughing.
" Well, I'll see you around school." He hung up promptly after that.
" He didn't tell me what he wanted. . ." I frowned, staring at the phone.
" Yes! We got him!" Dina cried, shaking me by the shoulders.
More like he's go me.