This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorised duplication is prohibited.

AN: Rated M for frequent swearing and sexual references.

Some things you just don't need to hear

Blue eyes followed the orange blur across the otherwise dark surface of a large flat screen television, game controller gripped firmly in hand, as teenage thumbs machine-gunned their way across the buttons.

"Crap!" thirteen year old Sammy Gomez cursed, as his hero, a diminutive orange teddy bear with a vicious face, killer claws and rainbow sprouting footprints, had an animated bathtub fall on top of him.

"So unfair. Come on! Plus life, plus life, plus...ah ha, woot!"

The side-scrolling adventure resumed play, and young Sammy-G expertly navigating his way up ladders, across pools of deadly sewing machines, bumping HP restoring gummy-bears and generally wrecking havoc as only a teenage controlled, killer orange rainbow-footstep teddy bear can.

He was almost through the mist-way of nasty-nasty-nasty when then door to his room flung open unexpectedly breaking his concentration.

"Fuck!" the boy swore as the nasty-nasty-nasty mist surrounded his hero's head and sucked all the stuffing out, leaving the empty fabric to billow comically for a moment, before the character collapsed and the continue screen popped up.

Sammy cast a murderous look at the intruder, a teenage boy with a good four years over him. Like Sammy he had a similar shade of brunette hair and blue eyes establishing them as blood-relatives, but unlike Sammy who had the whole emo, I'm-going-to-kill-you-and-enjoy-it thing happening. The intruder looked like he could have just stepped of the cover of Heat magazine, and additionally, looked like he was about to have a sudden-onset coronary.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. We're fucked!"

Sammy's eyes twitched in annoyance as he watched his brother frantically pace around his room, irritation spiking each time the older male passed in front of the TV.

"Why are we fucked?" the thirteen year old asks in an impassive tone hitting continue, intending to try and ignore him, well used to the elder's histrionics.

"I kissed 'A'!" the seventeen year old exclaimed waving his hands in a 'help me I'm about to die' sort of way.

The younger boy blinked, narrowly avoiding crashing his hero into the clutches of an evil doll. He knew exactly who his brother Adam meant when he referred to A. 'A' could only be one person.

"You kissed special agent-in-charge, Stephen 'bring the heat' Hartman's little princess?" Sammy replied in a bewildered tone, actually glancing away from the TV for a moment in his surprise.

"Aidan is not a princess," the older boy replied pausing in his chicken-headlessness to level a frosty glare, before restarting his profane pacing, fingers digging into his hands.

"We're fucked!" the teen continued.

Sammy rolled his eyes.

"Screw you. I'm not fucked, you're fucked," the younger said, concentrating on his game once more.

"Now would you piss off. I don't wanna know about your sordid love affairs or why you're soon to be six feet under."

Adam pacing and cursing under his breath, didn't respond. Sammy glared at the male.

"So I hear that Aidan's uncle is a mortician."


It was a very edgy Adam Gomez who made his way off the bus to school the next day. His brother true to his usual form, was absorbed by his phone as he walked off behind him, generally doing his upmost to ignore the world and all its benthic creatures.

The elder however, had his attention drawn to the car pooling zone, and a familiar black SVU. Usually it would be an uplifting experience to sight it, as it would mean Aidan wouldn't be far off. Today was not the case, as Aidan was apparently quite far off, being nowhere in sight, and the built man behind the wheel, one Agent Hartman was watching him rather fixedly.

Adam's blood froze as the man tapped his fingers across the wheel, in what his brain helpfully translated to be Morse code for; 'I'm going to feed your body through a wood chipper.'

Adam hurried off for morning class.

He needed to find the younger Hartman, though perhaps he should call the gym teacher a slut first.

Detention was safer than gun-toting feds after all. Right?

It wasn't until lunch that Adam had been able to speak with Aidan. They only had one class in common right before lunch, and as soon as the painfully awaited bell hit, he had dragged the shorter boy off into an empty computer room.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday, and what happened, and explain what happened right? So I really liked doing that, I mean I liked it, but I want to make sure you know that I didn't plan it, and I know things are going to be really weird now, but that doesn't have to change things and-"

Adam continued to unload his unload his uncensored thoughts at a rapid pace to the boy, who for his worth, stood silently with an bemused expression on his face.

Aidan was about 5'6, and was certainly not lacking in the looks department, with his green eyes, well tamed raven hair, slender body and nonchalant air.

"I mean, I don't have to say anything about this if that's what you want and why wouldn't that be what you want. You could have anyone you want, not that I'm saying you want anyone you want, I mean, you could if you wanted to, not that you need-"

He'd probably pump out another couple inches in height as he got older, they were only both seventeen after all, though in Adam's opinion, Aidan was the perfect height already, shorter than him, and it would be weird to imagine him as a adult. He was unbearably attractive already.

"Not that you're old, you're only three weeks older than me, there's plenty of time for it to mean something, not that it didn't mean something, though it doesn't have to mean something if you don't want it to mean anything, unless you want it to-"

Aidan crossed his arms across his limber chest, and glanced skywards across the ceiling, a smile on his face as he surveyed the roof.

"And your Dad will turn me into potting mix which would be horrible since my mum loves me, and I'm kinda fond of breathing anyway, being dead would suck cause I wouldn't be able to do anything like eat pizza or get mngn."

Adam's eyes boggled wide, voice silenced as the attractive boy learnt back down on his heels, hands settled on the taller's chest, where they had found themselves as the smaller boy had shut the bigger boy up with a soft brush of lips on lips.

"Adam," Aidan began patiently. "Chillax. It is just a kiss."

"Umm. Umm. Umm," the taller boy stuttered as the hands on his pectorals migrated to his sides.

"And my Dad already knows, so don't worry."

This fact far from placating the larger male, just set him off again.

"You told your father! Are you insane? What do you just bring this up at the dinner table or something?" Adam burst out to the boy, trying to ignore the downward movement of hands on his sides, which were definitely, most definitely not affecting him, not in the slightest.

"Yes," Aidan returned to the question with a set expression and obvious tone to his voice.

"Oh," Adam said dumbly. "Well fuck, is there anything you wouldn't tell him?" he asked rhetorically. The smaller boy gave a careless shrug and a half smile, that was perhaps, slightly evil.

"Well I probably wouldn't tell him about this," the raven-haired boy commented.

Before Adam had time to wonder what he meant, Aidan had dropped himself to his knees, and dropped Adam's pants and underwear to the floor, nose buried in the boy's pubes, cock swallowed to the hilt.


Sammy cracked his knuckles audibly in preparation.

"Okay mist-way, things are about to get nasty-nasty-nasty."

Seizing the control, the young teen set about once again traversing his orange killer rainbow bear through the side-scrolling stage of nastiness. He was just approaching the same place he had been the previous afternoon when his brother had made him die and...


Sammy fumbled the controls as Adam burst into the room unexpectedly cursing up a storm. The younger male emitted his own curse as his hero's head had the stuffing sucked out. Game over. Again.

"Yes Adam?" the teen bit out with narrowed eyes as his brother emulated his actions from the previous day in his pacing and swearing.

"Aidan sucked me off!"

Sammy blinked, wearing a quizzical what-the-fuck expression.


"I didn't start it or ask him or anything, we were talking in the computer lab and his pulled my pants down and sucked my cock."

"That's..." Sammy appeared to be struggling for words. "What I thought you said."

"Hey! I have classes in that room," the boy snarled a moment later, with a revolted expression.

Adam wasn't listening though and kept talking heedless.

"I couldn't believe it. That'd he just suck my cock like that. Deep-throated it and everything. And he was really good at it. Fucking amazing at it. I've had a couple blow-jobs from girls, and my size was a problem for them to fit in, but he just swallowed me down, it felt unbelievable, and when I came, he didn't freak out or nothing."

Sammy looked nauseous.

"Adam, I'm well accustomed to the fact that you're a little slow, but I would like to reiterate my previous statement about not wanting to know about your sordid love affairs, and to piss off. I'm a minor well below the age of consent. I don't want to know what hole of what person in which room your penis enters."

Adam kept pacing.

"Fuck, Aidan's amazing at it. Un-fucking-believable. Just... that tongue. Just wow. Wow! And he swallows!"

Sammy bunched his nose up resolving to repay the unwanted commentary with some much deserved cruelty.

"Agent Hartman is going to cut your balls off before you die."

It had not been a restful night. If Adam had been edgy getting off the bus a day previous after having a kiss from Aidan Hartman, today he could only compare his flight-fight state to that which those movie bomb technicians must feel when they have three seconds left on the clock and a choice between the red and yellow wire.

It's always the red wire though, so perhaps that's an unfair analogy.

"Good morning Adam."

The teen's mouth went from mouth-dry to desert-dry in an instant. He turned around slowly, taking note of the familiar bulky man leaning on the school fence, and the bulge beneath the man's jacket of a far from undersized gun.

"Good morning Mister Hartman," the boy's brain provided helpfully. The special agent gave him an appraising look.

"I know what you did. Just so you know, I'm going to cut you up and use you as fertiliser."

"Yes sir," the teenager breathed out, petrified.

He didn't actually say that, what he said was 'I hope you're staying out of trouble', but the boy's brain was helpful enough to translate.

"I hear you dumped a tasty load in my son's mouth."

"Um...yes sir. We're becoming quite close."

Again, what he really said was 'Aidan has only good things to say about you', but thank you Brain for once again being helpful.

The man gave the seventeen year old a cold stare.

"If you fuck up, your murder will never be solved."

Now that wasn't a translation, he actually said that.

Lunchtime heralded and Adam was again shepherding a amused smaller male, and by shepherding, I mean dragging along by the hand to the art room to discuss lesser faux pas that evidently made up the Gomez/Hartman relations agreement.

"You kissed me and then you sucked me off. Which was amazing by the way, but your father confronted me by the gate, so I'm sure he knows something, which is bad because he's got a gun, and I'm not bulletproof and I'm pretty sure he takes groin shots, which is another thing because I'm a rather big target down there if I do say so myself, and was impressed you were able to deep-throat me by the way, and that you swallow which is-"

Aidan sat down on the edge of the teacher's desk, kicking his legs back and forth with a entertained smile as he watched the taller boy ramble.

"Not that I watch the football players in the shower or anything, I'm on the track team, and you can't help but notice when you've got a bigger cock than someone, not that I go looking or parade myself off either or anything for that matter, I'd feel a little awkward actually, I don't even watch porn. Okay that's a lie, I watch porn every now and then, but not like every day, every couple days maybe, or sometimes a lot at once which now that I think about it, is probably the same as every day, but I don't think I have a porn problem, I get off just fine with fantasies, and sometimes just blow huge gobs-"

The raven-haired boy glanced over his shoulder at the desk he sat on with a critical eye, casually clearing a space one-handed by moving a couple staplers and chalk-boxes out of the way.

"But I don't do that much because it's too messy and I don't have my own bathroom, cause if I had my own bathroom it wouldn't be a problem, but since I don't, I don't get to as much as I like, not that I need to, I like to but don't need to, I'd love to have my own bathroom that way I don't have to explain a midnight shower to my folks. I had a girlfriend who did the same thing, though she was a Ho and slept with the lacrosse team so I dumped her for that cheerleader Nikki who couldn't deepthroat as well as the Ho, although that makes sense now that I think about it, though all the girl's I've had suck me off sucked at it compared to you, not that's I'm calling you a Ho, no! Just that you were amazing like you'd had a lot of experience, not that I'm saying you're experienced, you're really smart, so I'm sure you could work it out fine, not that I'm saying you're inexperienced, or that you're not inexperienced, or um fuck, just that your blowjob was the best I'd ever had and you suck cock really really well and um..."

Adam fell silent as Aidan stoically held up a tube in the air between them.

"Um, what's with the tube?" the taller boy asked with voice of trepidation.

Aidan's green eyes twinkled in mirth as he smiled that déjà vu evil smile of his.

"It's lube," the raven-haired teen explained, tossing it towards the boy, who whilst quite startled, snatched it easily from the air by reflex.

"Um. Um. Um," Adam mumbled brainlessly, as he watched the slender boy strip his shirt off without a care, and move onto his belt and trousers.

"You won't be needing those clothes," Aidan commented matter-of-factly, now naked, and pulled the taller boy by his school tie towards the teacher's desk.

Sammy G stared at his switched off TV and games console, to his bedroom door and back to the TV with a contemplative frown. Glancing between his door and television another time, he sighed before switching on his console.

"Maybe the third time's a charm and I'll be able to get the game finished," the thirteen year old muttered to himself in exasperation, as he settled into getting back to reaching the final stage.

"Fucking nasty-nasty-nasty mist-way," the boy murmured.

He was well absorbed watching his orange care-bear of doom when his brother burst right in during another critical moment, and had to watch the tragic and hilarious stuffing suckage scene yet again. He levelled a glare at the distracter.

"Would you just piss off now without the purveying the mental damage your 'visits' invariably cause!" Sammy exclaimed in thoroughly exasperated tones. His objection, as per his brother's usual modus operandi, fell on deaf ears as he paced and swore.

"I fucked Aidan on the art teacher's desk!"

Sammy groaned audibly clutching his head as if in pain.

"Actually I'm not sure if it counts as fucking, because he pulled my pants down and bent me backwards over her desk, and just rode me."

"Oh fuck my virgin ears sideways!" the room's owner exclaimed clasping his hands over his head, which unfortunately did nothing to diminish the other's voice.

"I think the position is called the 'cowgirl' or something. Or maybe the 'cowboy' in this case. Unless that's something else. I don't know. It was fucking intense though. Felt amazing, and it was way way tighter than sex with a girl. Though I suppose most of the girl's I've been with were a bit err loose down there."

Sammy made a bodyguard worthy dive for his MP3 player, and with a sense of intense jubilation, and no shortage of relief as he turned up the 'best of death metal artists falling off a cliff' playlist up as loud as it went through his earphones.

"Ah that's better," Sammy exclaimed loudly once unable to hear his own voice, and thankfully his brother's too.

Time to impart some long overdue brotherly justice.

Sammy snatched up a pillow from his bed and began to vigorously beat the taller male over the head.

"How many fucking times have I said that I don't want to know about your sordid love affairs?"

The older boy unable to dodge was being quickly flattened to the ground.

"I mean for fuck's sake!" the thirteen year old exclaimed as feathers flew across every surface.

"Some things you just don't need to hear!"


AN: Thanks for reading. I know it's been a couple months since I've last uploaded something. I was planning to upload a update to my fanfiction before updating on here, but a faulty laptop blocked me up, and then between my week of travel, Christmas, new years, my birthday, work and too much plotting of future stories, I wasn't getting any actual writing done.

I had a PM today though that helped me make up my mind to set aside the endless planning of stories, which was frustrating me to no end, and just freestyle something out one of my archived idea from three months back. This fic was written over an afternoon in between episodes of man vs wild. Not much point to this, but hope you enjoyed this diversion anyway.

Until next time.

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