This is a story by my brother and me. He is absolutely no help at all (just kidding!). I refer to myself in third person in this story which is very weird to me.
Do You Believe in Random?
In a world… where cake rules and people drool because they want to eat the cake that rules them… the king of the cakes was planning to up slave work for humans. His name was King Cake.
"SERIOUSLY!" yelled the guest author, "You can't give him a better name?"
"Well sorry!" penschooler yelled back, "It was easy to say."
"Are you gonna argue with me for the whole story or are we going to actually write about cakes ruling humans?"
"I said I was sorry," said penschooler.
Anyways, in this world, King Cake…
"I still don't like that name," the guest author said.
"I can't hear you!" penschooler said.
…ruled over the human race with evil dictatorship. Every human obeyed his every whim because he promised that someday he would let them eat all of the cakes in the land although that someday seemed a pretty long ways away.
"I hope it takes forever," said the guest author, "I want some!"
"If we're just going to keep interrupting the story like this we may as well become characters in it," said penschooler.
"I don't care if we're the characters or not, I want some cake!" said the guest author.
"Fine," said penschooler...
In the story…
Bobert, the guest author, arrived inside the story first. He landed in a field full of cakes.
"Woohoo!" he yelled, charging for the nearest cake, which he didn't realize was alive. He took a bite into the cake's back.
"OUCH!" the cake screamed, "What the heck was that for?" Bobert didn't answer and just continued chomping while the cake screamed that he was being murdered.
Penmaster arrived in the story nearby and when he saw what his friend was doing… he pulled out a bomb and threw it into the lake for no particular reason!
Bobert didn't even notice and finished off the cake.
"That was delicious…" Bobert said dreamily. Suddenly, the bomb went off in the lake.
"HOLY FIShCAKES!" Bobert screamed, "That lake just…"
"Why the heck did you not capitalize your h?" asked Penmaster.
"Who cares if I don't do something?" Bobert said, "Let me finish my sentence!"
"Fine," said Penmaster. Before Bobert could say… "EXPLODED!" Bobert screamed… a group of cakes showed up at the now dry lake holding humans, who were looking at the cakes and licking their lips, on leashes.
"You're under arrest for murder and lake drying!" they yelled at the two authors/characters.
"Um, I only murdered, he blew up the lake!" said Bobert.
"So you're both under arrest," said the cakes. Penmaster didn't even seem to notice the situation. He pulled a bean out of the pocket he had pulled the bomb out of.
"I'll be leaving now okay?" said Bobert and he dashed away.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Penmaster yelled. The cakes ran across the dried lake and Penmaster threw the bean on the ground. It sprouted into a strange U. F. O. like plant.
"Hey you can't do that," said one of the cakes, "That's copying from The Legend of Zelda!"
"Except for it's not called a magic bean it's called a mystical bean, so there," said Penmaster, "Did you happen to see where Bobert went?"
A voice was heard over the horizon.
"I'm at the Cake Carnival!" Bobert's voice called, "It's delicious!" The cakes completely ignored Penmaster and as they ran off, they started yelling, "TWINKIES!" at the top of their lungs. Penmaster blinked.
"Hey wait for me!" he called after them.
The whole carnival was in ruin and every human was set free when they arrived. The humans quickly ate up the newly arrived cakes and freed their friends while Penmaster found Bobert.
"What were you thinking?" Penmaster asked Bobert, "You could have a sugar rush like in that one story on Fanfiction, the Curse of the Orange Juice or whatever."
"Give me money they're Hershey's chocolates!" Bobert screeched. Penmaster shook his head in disbelief. Then he saw one of the cakes rushing towards the king's throne at the front of the carnival.
"NO!" he cried, "King Cake has been eaten to death!" Penmaster walked up and picked up what appeared to be the king's birth certificate.
"He was so young!" the cake said.
"It says he was sixty five," said Penmaster.
"And he was the cutest little baby!" the cake cried.
"It says in the doctor's notes that he was the ugliest thing that the doctor had ever seen in his life," said Penmaster.
"Well I don't care! He was still the king!" the cake yelled. Bobert ran up, still in a sugar rush, and ate the cake, taking all of his Hershey money in the process and eating it.
"This place is creeping me out," said Penmaster, "What planet is this anyway?"
"It's Earth of the future!" the humans all said in unison, "How else would we all be breathing?"
"That was creepy," said Penmaster.
"I'm gonna make more crimes and robberies and murders and cakes and robberies and…"
"Shut up!" Penmaster yelled, "We're getting off of this creepy planet!"
"Earth!" the humans all said in unison, "How will you survive in space?"
"How will you survive without your precious 'future earth'?" Penmaster said, "We're the authors, we can do anything we want!"
"I just stole some hersheys!" *smack*
Penmaster pulled out a bomb from his pocket and put it on the ground.
"Sayonara losers!" Penmaster said as he pulled out the detonator.
"I just found out the best drink online!" said Bobert
"They have Internet here!" Penmaster yelled.
"Of course, because it is Earth. Bye-bye," said all the humans in unison. One of them noticed it was a nuclear bomb.
"Wait a second…"
Bobert's sugar rush wore off.
"I can fly but I don't have a sugar rush!" Bobert yelled.
"I don't think you'd be any different with or without that confounded thing," said Penmaster in disgust.
"What confounded thing?" asked Bobert.
"Never mind," said Penmaster, "Where are we?"
"Where in the world you can fly!" said Bobert.
"No actually I think we're in space," said Penmaster. There was a very long pause.
"I'm hungry," said Bobert.
"Are you kidding me?" said Penmaster, "You just ate a whole carnival full of cakes!"
"But there was a long pause," said Bobert.
"That lasted at least five seconds!" said Penmaster, "Where do you want to go?"
"The space snack bar!" said Bobert.
"What space snack bar?" asked Penmaster.
"The one over there!" said Bobert as he pointed to the planet Uranus.
"There can't be a snack bar there because that whole planet is made of gas," said Penmaster, "Now pick something logical or I'll have to use my magic pen on you."
"You're not Toro," said Bobert.
"Who the heck is Toro?" asked Penmaster.
"I should be asking you that," said Bobert. Penmaster pulled out his pen and began drawing all over the moon. Soon, he had finished writing Twinkies on the moon.
"What do you think?" he asked as he turned to Bobert. Bobert wasn't there.
"I'd like to order five twinkies and six hershey's chocolates," Bobert said to the snack bar vendor on Uranus.
"How the heck did you get way over there?" Penmaster yelled.
"What did you say?" he yelled back. Penmaster drew a door with his magic pen and opened it. He walked into it… and smacked right into a concrete wall!
"What the heck?" he said, "Wrong door." He drew another door and walked through it, right onto the spot on Uranus where he was standing.
"How the heck are you standing on Uranus?" he asked him.
"How you doing sonny?" asked elder Grampypa.
"Who the heck are you?" asked Penmaster.
"I'm Grampypa," said Grampypa, "Didn't I just say that?"
"How did you get in this story?" asked Penmaster.
"A nice young feller named Bobert let me in," said Grampypa. Penmaster grew red.
"I'm gonna kill that jerk!" said Penmaster.
"Is something wrong?" asked Grampypa, "You look like you're ready to…" Penmaster grabbed the poor old man by the neck.
"If you say one more word I'm gonna rip your dentures out of your skull!" Penmaster yelled in Grampypa's face.
"I don't even wear dentures," said Grampypa. Penmaster ripped out every last one of Grampypa's teeth within two seconds.
"Where the heck is that Bozo Bobert?"
"What are you doing to my Grampypa?" Bobert yelled from Mars.
"What the heck are you doing on Mars?" Penmaster yelled, "And your Grampypa is on the verge of dying of pain in the mouth because I thought he had dentures and ripped all of his teeth out."
Bobert screamed something about wanting to fly across the screen and kick Penmaster in the face when Grampypa died of pain in the mouth because Penmaster had thought he had dentures and ripped all of his teeth out and then Grampypa vanished.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!," Bobert screamed, "YOU SHALL DIE!" He flew across the screen and kicked Penmaster in the face… again and again and again… about a hundred times… until Penmaster finally got the idea and drew a portal out of the story so he could become penschooler again… and Bobert realized what happened… and this paragraph is getting too long… so Bobert jumped and took the portal with him out of the story… and Penmaster was stranded in the story for ten years… and his pen was out of ink… when finally!... the portal opened up again… and Penmaster left the story and returned to his penschooler form… and Bobert, once again the guest author, began taking revenge on penschooler yet again for what he had done to Grampypa… in the real world… ten minutes after penschooler got back… Grampypa… came through the office door with a smoothie… where they were working (or rather, fighting)… and the guest author went crazy again… and…
"We get it already!" someone in the audience yelled, "Please, no more ellipses!"
"Whatever you're yelling about, I don't know what that means, and that last paragraph was super long!" the guest author yelled back, "But I do know… that I am bored!" And then the world blew up for absolutely no reason just like in all of these ridiculously random stories by Penschooler that have not been written yet (Because he may write more of them if people like them).