1. Baby Talk (Darleen Talk)

It was a bee-you-tee-ful summer night in New York. Unlike last summer, this time I didn't visit my parents. My parents came to visit me instead. I loved the modernity of this family.

"I wanna have a baby." I said to Mommy and Daddy while we ate dinner in my apartment.

Gasp!

Cough!

Gasp from Mommy, cough from Daddy. I guess he choked on the spaghetti we ate. Too long spagheti to be exact. It was delicious though. My Mommy slapped his back, while my red-faced Daddy coughing, tried to spit out the spaghetti.

Gasp! This one came from my mouth. What if Daddy died? It would be Mommy's fault. Why did she cook that too long spaghetti? No. I would blame the company of that food. Why did they make their products in unusual length?

No! It would be your fault, dummy! You said "I wanna have a baby" out of the blue and oh so innocently.

Gasp!

My second gasp! Oh my cheese! Stupid moi and my mouth! I'm so going to jail! I can't see babies anymore. Oh my pee, my Daddy is dying..

Wait...He was still alive. And starring daggers at me. Uh-oh.

"Oh Daddy, you're alive!" I came to him and hugged him before he said a word. "Thanks, God. I don't go to jail." I said to the ceiling.

"Why would you go to jail?" Mommy asked while giving Daddy a glass of water.

"Because I nearly killed Daddy. I'm sorry." I looked down with guilty feeling that just came to me a minute ago.

"About that." Daddy tried as best as he could to show his famous wiseness. "Yes, you almost killed me. Or rather your words almost killed me." He sighed. "Look, Darleen. I know you like babies and all their friends, but you don't have to have them. You're still in college. You're too young."

"But there are girls out ther who happens to be younger than me, already have baby." I whined like a baby.

"That's not what they want, at least at first, then the baby born, they decide to keep it. In your case, I'm afraid it could be the other way around." my Daddy explained to me as if I was a 6 year old kid.

"Ummm..can you elaborate the last part? The other way around thing. What is that?" Daddy really confusing me.

"Well, we know you have this thing for baby. BABY. What will happen if you have your own baby, then he or she grows up, becomes a kid, a teen, and adult? Have you thought about it?"

My mouth was in big O shape.

"No, I don't think about it. Umm..actually I already think about that." Just now. "I'll leave him or her with you. But now i'm thinking it's cruel." apparently Daddy succeed in passing his wiseness down to me. I was proud.

"So?" my parents said in unison. They did that a lot it's creepy. They were a real soulmate.

"I don't want a baby." I said meekly.

"Good'. in unison again, God!

"For now."