Oh how I wish the words I wish to write would come to me. To flow as swiftly as those of a gifted writer. Yet no matter how hard I try, they never come as good as I first thought them. And no matter how hard I wish to describe one thing as another as beautifully as such comparisons I've read…very rarely do I do. It must be mesmerizing to read your words and find they flow like that of a river gently moving downstream.
'Why can't I?' I ask myself. Many say I'm a great writer, but I wonder if it's true. Because I see many works, created by people I know and who are my age that far suppress my own writings. It must be nice to see your work so greatly appreciated and valued, but I'm much too worried about being told I'm no good that I hardly ever show my stories. Perhaps worried is not the right word, afraid would be more accurate.
In fact, to the few people I've let read my stories either say it's alright, but you have to fix… or the story's boring. I'm not looking for people say to it's fine, I'm looking for people to say 'Wow, you did an amazing job with this'… or 'You could become a really good writer someday.' Very rarely do I get the reaction I wish to see and feel.
I don't mind criticism and advice where it's needed. Sometimes, that's what I'm looking for. But I can't stand people who just criticize it just because of a certain plot point or it's not what they like to read. I'm looking for people who will read past that, who will maybe see how swiftly my words flow and tell me that even when I don't see it when I read it. I just want to know if I can live up to the expectations that I see many writers set.
I write to please myself, not for anybody else. I may seek out good words from others, but I know I did my best with what I wrote. If it's not good enough for somebody, it's not my loss. It may perhaps be my gain. I may wish to write like some very gifted writers, but I now know in my own way, my words do flow like the writers I admire, even though I may not see it….I hope that someone else can.