Beneath Reality

The bell rang; everyone packed away their books, got up and left through the door as quickly as they could for recess. I followed the same routine, as I stepped into the hallway I thought, "I wonder what tricks Jessica Bel will play today on me? After all this is the time she would usually show up". I go outside on the backfield of Drecklin High School and sit down on one of the benches to eat my lunch. I start eating and a group of shadowy figures show up, it's Jessica.

"Hi moron, enjoying your lunch I see" she says.

"Hi Jessica, nice to see you today, here to hang out or something" I respond.

"Hang out with the likes of you? I don't think so! Someone like you with half a brain, it's a wonder how you pass your classes" as she says the rest of the group with her laughs. I laugh it off, which seems to annoy her and get her to go away. She looks at me expressionless, deprived of all feelings and said, "Ha ha ha! Laugh it off pea brain! I know what we say gets to you, if it doesn't it will one day no matter what! No matter what…remember that!" saying that she left and I was left alone to eat the rest of my lunch. I always laughed everything off as a joke no matter what came out of Jessica's mouth. I have always thought of myself to be an individual with a high self respect and that nothing can change that. I laughed every bully off all the time, I know that Jessica is bullying me but I think that if I laugh it off it will all be alright and nothing will change and somehow nothing did, I always did have the ability to ignore mean things coming from people and just go on with my life. As I finished the last bit of my lunch I saw Jessica and her group going around the corner of the school building and thought of what they may be talking about. So I decided to go and see what they may be talking about, I moved towards the school building as a cover for my hiding and started to listen. All I could make out was, "Let's…new level...she…rides a bike…get…then…it…fun…after school". That was all I could make out and though were they talking about me or someone else? Probably someone else I convinced myself and went on with the rest of my school day as I normally did. The final school bell rang and I went to my bike to ride home. I was riding on the road as noticed a car following me. Suddenly the car increased its speed and did a drive-by in which a hand came out and pushed me off my bike. I was knocked unconscious for a few minutes as I came back to in an agonizing feeling.

I looked around and at the same time felt like screaming, I could feel the bone in my right knee and down smashed and lying under the bicycle. I try to move but that hurts to and then I look up to find a car parked up in a distance and people in it screaming, "Loser! Loser! Loser!" and all I felt at that time what am I doing here? Why is it that I want to cry at their insults? Why am I so weak? Have I been lying to all myself? The people taunting me are the same people I used to laugh off, now I could make out what Jessica and her group of friends were talking about when I decided to eavesdrop, "Hi guys, I'm sick of Amanda's attitude. Let's take this to a new level. Whenever she is heading for her home, she then rides a bike, we can get her then. Let's take this to a whole new physical level. How about we do a drive-by and knock her off her bike? It will be fun. Let's do this today after school." Now the message came back to me clearly, I had heard it all clearly but my mind blocked it out because I was too bent on my thinking of that "Jessica could never do this to me, anyways even if she would what would that change then? Nothing, that's the way it has always been, it's not like one little incident can change things greatly" I was wrong; my thinking had always been an illusion of my reality, beneath reality I was a shattered helpless girl. Now as I looked in the distance at my bullies, I felt myself respect shatter every second they called out more and more taunts. I looked over with tears flowing out of my eyes; I looked over in confusion of what I was or rather who I was? I looked over in grief.

I started to get up, every moment of my trying to get up caused me more pain from my shatter leg, I took my bike and started limping. I took my bike, a broken leg, a limper walking through the streets of San Fierro with a shattered self respect. I limped all the way home gathering the attention of many, some looking in the curious look of what events may have caused this and some in the looks of concern. I reach home and immediately I see my boyfriend, Jeff, waiting for me in the front foyer area. He looks at me, one leg shoeless and suddenly runs up to me and asks, "Amanda! What happened? Amanda?" I collapse to the floor in his arms as he carries me to the couch, I tell him everything while letting go of the tears of what seemed I had been holding back all this time. I told him, what I thought of myself before and now what I think of myself now, what I think of my self respect now. Jeff held my hand tight in his as he listened through the whole situation I had been in and my feelings. He held his hands towards his forehead soon and spoke out, "What are you going to do now? They have taken this far enough, Amanda! You have to do something about this otherwise it will only keep worsening".

"I know!" I screamed hoping he would stop talking about this now. Just listening to the outcome of this situation made me angry and made me confused. Confused of who I had been all along in my time in high school. I had visited the doctor the same night and the doctor said that I would be down for at least one week at home. The week went by slowly for me as all I did was stay on the couch lying down reading books and watching TV. As soon as the week was over, I could go back to school and a life which will probably never be the same again.