i write because i cannot comprehend my feelings of you & for you & you only, the darkest parts. i'm young but too old to feel as if anything except you matters; i have a name but it is lackadaisically sliding under my fingernails like splinters within wood. one day the mountains will crumble into the sea & the stars will fall & burn into stardust & i will remember what i could never say & you will be gone, the dying butt of a cigarette in my shaking hands. & the world will continue to go on as if we did not matter, for we were here in one single fleeting moment & then you were gone & i was alone. & so i will live with the memory of you tarnished on my skin, your smile in my hair & the sound of your name burning in the spaces between my teeth like swallowed gasoline, microscopic & insignificant. i remember when.