Love Like Poison

"Girls aren't meant to be with girls." The disgust they felt rang through their voice with a painful sting. I keep my head down and say nothing.

"The devil himself isn't that filthy!" The voice boomed again loudly in my ear, yet I keep my head down and still remain silent. It doesn't hurt me, nothing hurts me anymore.

I heard murmurs around the room, some repeating what was just proclaimed, others saying words such as sick, scum, twisted, and crazy. It didn't matter what they said about me, I didn't care what they thought about me. Only one person had yet to speak their mind, and that was the only person I wish would've.

"HOW?" The king yelled, "How could my greatest huntress, one that has taken down dragons, hunted down ogres, and killed countless beasts with her own bear hands, my own royal guard, be defeated by demons of the heart?" He spat in my direction as he said those last words. "And to direct those demons to my daughter as well, how could you? You, who had the trust of the kingdom, has betrayed the king."

He paced around me, as I kneel on the ground before him and the rest of his council and all there that had witnessed my mistake. The moment of my blunder keeps replaying through my mind with every passing second that I lay on the ground. How could I let myself become so miserable?

I wasn't supposed to be caught, I wasn't going to say anything, my feelings were kept to myself and that was how it should've been for the rest of my life, I was strong enough to do that. So when… When had I become such a weakling and a slave to my heart? Maybe it was when my allegiance to the kingdom had changed to my allegiance to protect the princess, the moment I realized I loved her. She was so gentle, so kind, and so precious that I couldn't help myself from wanting her. She treated me like a person when all my life I had been trained to believe I was an object that was used for battle and that was easily replaceable.

I was so infatuated with her that I left my post as a warrior and worked as a guard and huntress in the palace, just to be close to her. I knew she didn't even know my name or face from any other soldier, but I planned to change that, so as days passed of guarding and watching over her I watched what she liked. Day after day, after I'd be released of my post for the time being I'd go out and search for gifts she'd enjoy, like the flowers she liked to admire in the garden, honey she'd occasionally call for from the market, or a simple letter with poetry about my love for her. As she received these anonymous gifts and letters, I'd watch her reactions closely, the smile she'd have after finding the honey left on her balcony, the soft sigh she made after she sniffed the flowers I picked, or how she held the poems I wrote close to her heart and shut her eyes.

"I love this man." She murmured once as I came to bring her, her tea. "He left me another poem on my balcony today. Oh, how I wish I could see him, I wish I could speak to him or at least know his name. Why won't he show himself to you to me? What is he waiting for? What do you think, Zara?"

"I'm not sure, your majesty, but I wouldn't get your hopes up." I said quietly, as I set the tray down for her.

"He must be very quick on his feet to get pasts the guards just to put a flower on my balcony," She took the cup of tea I handed to her and stared at the letter lying next to her lap on her bed. "Or maybe he's trusted by the royal family and is able to come and go as he pleases… Oh! What if he's a prince? Yes, that's probably it, he's one of the princes from another kingdom, come to marry me. He must be my prince charming!"

"Don't get your hopes up princess," I mumbled with a frown. "You shouldn't think much of these things, you have a million fans, just because one sends you gifts doesn't mean their right for you. I suggest you accept the gifts and think nothing more."

"How can you say that? Have you not felt what it feels like to be in love? Yes, I've accepted gifts countless times but this time, this person, is different from the rest. Can't you tell how carefully thought out the gifts he brings me are? Have you read the poems? See how much emotion this man pours into these words. Its magic, it truly is." She handed me the poem she had laying by her. "Read it! See for yourself, even your heart will melt at these words."

"I don't need to read anything to know you're letting it go to your head." I replied as I pushed the poem away, mentally kicking myself for causing the hurt look that briefly flashed on the princess' face. "My shift is over princess, I will see tomorrow."

"One day you'll understand how I feel Zara…" the princess stated as I turned and walked out the door.

Although that conversation had shaken me and my mind was screaming for me to stop before something happens, my heart was racing from her reaction and out of my own selfishness I continued giving her gifts, only this time I was more cautious when delivering them. I wore all black and a masquerade mask that I had once bought at the market from another kingdom, and I kept watch and made sure that no one saw me place these gifts on her balcony. I made sure everything was perfect, and I remained unknown from anyone, the only thing the princess knew of was my initial on the stamp of the letter. A simple Z, that she thought nothing of each time she opened it.

After more time had passed, I watched as the princess would receive requests from princes all over the world to marry her, each one she would reject, saying she was watching for prince charming to show himself. Luckily, no one aside from me fully understood what she meant by that and obeyed her wishes without a second thought. She began to leave notes on the balcony at night as well, to reply to my poetry and gifts, this only fueled myself desire to continue to make her fall for me even more. I began to get careless again as the excitement of knowing I'd receive her letters ran through my mind through the day. I stopped waiting till the late hours of the night to deliver my gifts and started to go the balcony right after night fall.

"I knew you'd be here!" I heard a voice say from the far corner of the balcony.

I froze in fear of it being a guard, what would happen when they find out I'm a girl?

"I've been waiting to meet you, my prince charming." The voice came again, this time I realized it was the princess.

I stood still, facing away from her, my mind racing for an idea of how to get out of this situation. I could hear her soft footsteps come closer to me, it seemed like I could barely hear it over the sound of my pounding heart.

"Won't you turn around, my love?" She asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, but did as she said, knowing she wouldn't see past my mask.

"A mask? Why do you hide your face from me? I wish to see you" she whispered softly as she reached for the mask. I grabbed her hand quickly and shook my head; she looked at me with a sad expression on her face and nodded.

"May I know your name?" Again I shook my head.

"May I know anything about you?" She questioned. "May I at least hear you speak?"

I shook my head yet again and handed her a letter, then turned to climb off the roof. As I went to step over the railing on the balcony she caught my cloak and pulled me back too swiftly for me to react. I felt small but strong arms lock around my neck and lips press to mine briefly, causing my mind to go completely blank and for me to freeze. But as soon as she had grabbed me, she released me and turned to go inside.

"I'll be waiting for you, my darling." She said with a smile in her voice.

After that night, I stopped sending gifts every day and only dropped them off on the balcony at random. I could see the princess was sad about this, but I knew that now I had gone too far and I needed her to forget about my hopeless love for her. She never saw me drop off my gifts again at night, but not a day went by that I wished she would kiss my lips again.

"I refuse to take part in this!" the princess pouted as women working in the palace rushed to get her dressed and ready for the masked ball. Today was the day she is to pick out a husband from the men she danced with at the ball, she had no choice to but to pick a groom today, but as usually, she refused to even think of another man.

"I'm waiting for my love," She protested. "I will not marry anyone but the one that writes to me every night! He knows me like no other, he loves me with everyone ounce of being and I love him, I will never find another man like that."

"You've met him once, young mistress," said the maid tending to her hair.

"What if he's at the ball?" said another, who was helping with her makeup.

"Oh, how I hope he will be!" the princess clapped her hands in excitement.

"Don't get your hopes up," I mumbled as I left the room.

What was I to do? After tonight, I would never be able to tell the princess of my love again, I'd never see her face light up as she got my gifts, for she would belong to another man. My selfishness and desire for her grew as I thought of a way to make her long for me one last time. I gave my shift over to the next guard and rushed to my living quarters right outside the palace entrance, retrieving the things I wore for giving the gifts and put it on swiftly, but this time instead of a cloak I wore an elegant black suit I had left from when my father passed. I rushed out the door and ran to the garden to search for the flowers she loved so much, picking a hand full of them and then making my way toward the balcony. Luckily for me, it was a little past night fall and the guards were tending to all the royal family and council that were to come to the ball. I knew the princess would be waiting alone in her room until someone called for her to make her appearance, which wouldn't be for a while, so I climbed up the balcony and let myself into her room. I saw her sitting there, looking at the poems I had given her over time, and my heart skipped a beat as she turned her head to see who had entered.

"I knew you'd be here," She stood and gave me a sincere smile as she made her way across the room. "I just thought you'd go through the front entrance, everyone else did."

She let out a melodious laugh as she stood directly in front of me, reaching for my hand and intertwining our fingers. It felt as if a heavy burden had been relieved from my chest as I felt her hand touch mine, I couldn't help but feel the heat spread through my cheeks. Hopefully the mask hid that.

"You're hands are so soft." She said in awe as she played with my fingers. I remained silent, my eyes locked on her face, taking in every reaction and emotion that came across her eyes.

She looked back up at me after what felt like minutes of her gazing at my hands and simply touched her lips to mine. This time I wasn't as stunned, and although my heart was going insane, I mustered the courage to gently kiss her back. She felt smaller and fragile in my arms and I pulled her closer and pressed my lips harder to hers, and although it should've felt wrong, all I could think about was how right it was. My mind was lost in the feeling of her against me, my senses were only aware of her and her alone, so when the guard came to retrieve the princess I was oblivious to until someone grasped my shoulder and pulled me from the princess.

"Well, I knew that one of those men down there would get a little too much courage and come mess with the princess. Did he hurt you, your majesty?"

"No, I let him in, sir, I'm sorry." The princess replied, her face bright red and a guilty smile on her face.

"Oh, now I see what's going on here," the guard grinned. "Looks the princess has found her husband, hasn't it? Well come on! It's time to get you to the king, and you too lover boy, since it looks like you're the one the princess has chosen."

The guard had a good grip on my shoulder has he pushed me to toward the ballroom, and I was too stunned to realize what was happening to pull away as I was lead down the hallway.

"Father," The princess yelled excitedly, as she ran before us, into the ballroom. "I have found who I want to marry!"

"Already, now? Who is this man?" The king said with a cheerful smile.

My mind clicked to what was happening and I began to panic, my mind was racing with thoughts of how I was going to get of this, but I could not come up with a good enough escape plan. I needed out fast, so I pushed away from the guard and tried to make my way out of the crowd in the room toward the exist.

"Nervous?" The guard swiftly stepped in front of me and turned me back toward the king. "I would be too."

"Unmask yourself sir, I want to see the face of my daughter's future husband!" the king ordered.

"I would like to do it for you, my love." The princess said shyly, reaching to untie my mask from the back.

Before I could stop her she had already gotten it untied, and as I held it up against my face I began to back away swiftly, but I felt to the floor as I was shoved by one of the many people dancing around me, oblivious to anything but the music and themselves.

Fear; that was all I could think about as I saw the mask a few feet away from me and the faces of the king and the guards in shock, knowing all too well that they had seen my face clearly.

"Zara…" was all I heard the princess say before the king began screaming for guards and stomped towards me in anger.

Looking back how I got here, all the emotions that I had experienced, the joy I felt throughout the months, and how it ended in me face down on the ground, a disgrace to my king, I knew it was all worth it.

I was snapped out of thought when the king ordered me to stand up, I did as he said quickly, standing straight with my head still hung down, like a dog who was just punished.

"You deserve death you piece of scum!" He screamed as he marched back to his daughter. "You… you tricked my daughter and you planned to fool me as well? How dare you think so disrespectful of your king?"

"I was not fooled father…" The princess looked directly at me, her face unreadable, as she pushed past the guards and strode towards me.

"She may have thought I was fooled, but I knew it was, Zara, and I love her all the same. The only person that was fooled was herself, for thinking I did not know her like she thought I did, and that I couldn't love her back." She grabbed my hand swiftly and turned to face my father.

"This girl has brought me more joy than I've ever felt in my life, I thought you would understand and be happy for that."

"Don't touch that disgusting demon!" Her father hollered as he stood and yanked her away from me. As he did so she let out a cry of pain and at this point I didn't care what happened to me, no one hurts her, not even the king.

"Don't touch her!" I sprang up and walked forward, drawing my sword from its sheath and pointing it towards the king. "How dare you hurt your own daughter!" I growled as I looked at the king with pure hatred.

At that moment the guards came to defend the king and overpowered me, knocking my sword from my hand and holding me still as I stood in front of the king powerless.

"Take her to the dungeons, issue for her to be executed tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

I heard the princess shrieking in protests as I was dragged off to the disgusting cell I was to call my bedroom for my final night on earth.

I had no way of knowing how late or early it was when I heard footsteps walk down the prison hallway, for there was no light, only lanterns lighting the area. The person stopped at my cell and I stood, ready for the moment of my execution.

"Zara, I won't let this happen to you." I looked up, unbelievably to see the princess stand before me. She walked up to the bars and reached for my mud stained shirt to pull me as close as the bars would possibly let us be.

"It is what I deserve for tainting you, it is as the king has said, I am scum, infected with demons, and I shouldn't live for trying to inflict you with my soul's diseases as well. I truly deserve to die." I said, my voice never faltering as I held her close for what will probably be the last time, though all the while I wanted to break out into tears, as my heart cried for the longing of wanting to grow old with the girl I adore.

"Don't… Don't say that my love." She said as she clutched me with shaky hands, burying her head into my neck.

"You do not truly love me," I said my voice cracking slightly. "This love is wrong, it's not meant to be. It's sick-"

"Stop saying that!" She looked back up at me angrily. "It IS meant to be, I can feel it, and I know you can too, or else you wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be here sacrificing our lives for each other."

"Our…? What do you mean by OUR lives? Has the king sentenced you as well?"

"No, he has not, I just simply will stop living the moment you do. I cannot be in a world where you are not."

"Don't be foolish, you can't just stop living and no guard will let you die on their watch."

She touched my heart and laughed sadly, "Zara, the heart works in mysterious ways, you could say that love is a lot like poison, you cannot stop it from flowing through your veins once it is in you. If I want it to stop beating I will make it do just that."

I rested my hand over hers and kissed her forehead, sighing in defeat, for I knew I would not be around to stop her and no matter what I said she wouldn't listen. Not wanting to think anymore, I gripped her chin and kissed, pouring all my love into those last kisses, and feeling all of hers as she returned every kiss. As we pulled apart she pulled at a small bottle and handed it to me.

Confused by what she had said I walked back to the corner of my dirty cell and sat in the darkness until it was time to die.

What seemed like hours later the prison ward came with guards and led me out to a platform built in the middle of the market, where people would come to watch criminals and enemies to the kingdom take their final breath. I looked out through the audience as I stood, back to the archers ready to release their arrows at any moment. I gasped quietly as I saw the face of the one I love in the crowd, holding a small bottle to her lips and waiting for something before she started to drink it.

"Do you have any last words?" said the archer behind me, I just shook my head in reply.

I heard him draw his bow and arrow back and I heard it release and cut through the air in a swift move, and then I felt it pierce through my back through my chest. My breath became stuck in my throat as pain and heat spread through my body and I fell off the platform to the ground. In my last moments of life I looked up and saw the princess fall the ground next to me, empty bottle in her hand, eyes lifeless and body motionless. And as my heart stopped beating and my eyes permanently closed from the world around me, I heard the people of the market grow into a panic at the sight of the dead princess, and then my time in the world ended.

At that moment my eyes reopened to a meadow and a girl turned to me at the end of the meadow, giving me a sincere smile and opening her arms for me to walk to towards her, saying softly, "I knew you'd be here, my love." And my forever begun with the girl my heart desired, an outcome I had only dreamed of, but never knew it could possibly happen.

END