I can never tell what's behind that smile, there you see. You smiled again. Is it bad of me just to keep on starring at you wishing for your smile. Just to wonder who you smile for. I sense bliss and sadness when you smile which in sense are really wrong for one another. I wonder if by any chance can I make you smile for me.

"Yo, Jackson? What's up?" Placing my cup of coffee down I adverted my eyes away for Tiffany to stare up at my friend Damien. He's such a carefree fellow always doing what he wants never really looking at the consequences. He's scrawny looking never eating much with blue eyes and dirty blonde hair always hidden underneath that ugly black beanie even when it's hot outside. "Hello EARTH TO JACKYY!"

"What Damien?"

"I was wondering if you wanted some grub beside your usually nasty ass coffee."

"Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure just go away."

"Man what sour puss jump into your coffee today? Someone's grouchy!"

"Just go get food please."

"Fine, whatever."

Seeing his retreating back I remember why I became friends with him it's because he's trustful. Even after all the times he's done stupid shit like going to jail for thief and stuff I was able to trust him in anything. I look over to see Tiffany again as she quickly glances my way before she continues talking with her girlfriend.

"Here I brought you a bagel with cream cheese just the way you like it." I take the plate from my friend's hand and I set it in front of me. I look down while reaching up to take my glasses off to rub at me eyes before putting them back on to look directly at my friend across the table.

"I think I'm in love with a lesbian." My friend suddenly starts coughing he then takes a quick slip of his sprite before placing it back down. "What? Why?" I paused to look down I knew a scolding was coming.

"Not that loving is wrong or anything or liking a Lez but I mean you got that handsome quiet nerd type look going for you that you could have any girl you want man. I'm just saying as your friend you ain't gonna get no love in return from that type of girl and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Yeah, I know."

"So quit with that love thing before it grows too much to bare."

"Yeah, whatever."

That night I dreamt of making love to her. It was filled with passion that in my waking life I was actually sweating and having a raging hard on. I could feel her wither underneath me as I impelled her gently making her moan quietly in my ear. Just hearing her voice makes my blood boil over into day light with the birds chirping and me having soiled my boxers just because it was all a dream. I laid there knowing I had to get up if not Damien would come by worried asking why I didn't go to class to day. College is alright but for me it's like high school just a drag.

My first love wasn't exactly a true romance like they say it is it was more like us fucking like bunnies and declaring forever love. I'm a true romantic now I haven't been in a relationship since just waiting for the right one. But apparently my heart loves to get hurt. That's what Damien doesn't like about me falling in love because when I fall I fall hard. Last time I 'fell' I was depressed for about three months. I wonder how long this one will last me. Maybe I love because I like the feel of fluttering butterflies in my stomach or the hurt that comes with it. Either way I fell in love with Tiffany a lesbian.

"What the hell are you still in bed for it's has been over a month and a half since I've seen you. Get your ass up and go to school man. Quit moping around she turned you down so what, you can be all goo-goo eyed again later." Damien pissed off as hell yanked the blankets away.

"You fucking don't understand Damien. I love them, but I'm never loved back." Damien face turns beat red before yelling "Well fuck man ain't we on the same boat!"

"What the hell are you talking about, you never loved anyone?!"

"Yes I have its just that you don't try to notice."


"God, you're blind." Suddenly I feel his lips on mine. "There you happy now your loved. Now get your ass out of bed and change."

"But you're a boy."

"Well congratulation doctor for discovering the obvious."

"I didn't know."

"How could you. You were too busy falling in love yourself when I've been here for years by your side loving you."

"But how come you told me now."

"I don't know man it just slipped." He sighs and then takes his beanie to scratch his head before speaking again. "I guess I got tired of you noticing someone else besides me."

"But why do you love me?"

"I don't know it just happen that way. I guess as we grew my love grew too."

"But are you gay"

"Hell No! It's just you buddy. It's just you." I feel awkward I mean it's nice I can sense his sincerity of his confession. But can I return what he feels? I feel joy the feeling of love but too be loved is different and it's not like we are doing anything else beside evolving one step more everything will still be the same but with more of physical aspect. "Fuck me!"


"You heard me, fuck me."

"Have you lost a screw?"

"That's the only way I can think of that can make sense to me if I can return your feelings or not."

"But I never had sex with a man before neither have you."

"Stop bitchen and just do it."

"Are you sure?"

"No, that's why I'm asking to you to do it." He takes my hand and kisses it gently. "I'm not going all the way."

"Quit treating me like a woman and get it over with."

"I know you're notta woman." He quickly grabs me shoulders and shoves me down onto my back. "I'm gonna take my time holding you." He licks a trail from neck up to my ear nibbling on the sensitive skin. "You taste salty." My hands squirm down to his crotch nervous I squeeze him tenderly making him bulge in his pants. I've see him naked but never remember wanting to see him aroused not like this.

I kiss his lips again while tiring to undo his pants so I can feel him in my hand. I slid my hand pass his pubic hair receiving a gasp out of him when I finally touch him he groans. "Your hands are cold."

"Sorry." I pull my hands out to pull down his pants to the floor and shirt above his head throwing it across the room. I feel the fire in my stomach once again.

I turn us around straddling on top of his hips. Grinding my clothed prick into his bare cock the friction was intense, but not enough. Finally frustrated I pull away long enough to get rid of my boxers so we can be closer. I straddle him again with add heat with blood rushing through every part of me.

I take both our lengths in my hand setting a steady pace. I feel him buck up into hand my balls slapping against his. "Mmm-ah…Fuck." I want more. I get off of him to sit at his side. "Move up against the head board so I can fuck your mouth." With lustful eyes he moves up against the head board and opens up his mouth no objection made. Straddling his chest I move my prick into his mouth slow reminding myself where both inexperienced with this kinda stuff. "Mimic the way a girl gives head." He makes me groan for never doing this he's good, but sloppy. I feel his hands needing my butt running his calluses fingers between my cheeks. "I thought you said we wouldn't go all the way." He pulls back and said "I never said anything about not fingering you." I push back into his mouth he continues to suckle on me than with add humming. It almost sends me over the edge. I grab onto his hair with tug I make him take me to the base. The vibration of his humming sending shiver up my spine that I finally felt the finger in my rump.

Moving around trying to spread me wider till he added a finger than a little pain came. "Ahh take it out..ah" I pulled out just in time for Damien to roll us over.

"I don't think I can keep my promise if you keep being cute like that." I pull away totally out of reach.

"I am not a woman!"

"I didn't say you were I said you were cute."

"See now you just ruined the mood."

"What, cause I called you cute?"


"Ahh don't be mad about that. I do love you."

"And I like you, but I'm not continuing this."

"Please don't. I'm rock hard."

"Well to tough shit, there's the bathroom." Grabbing my closes I retreat the living putting on my clothes as I go. I hear him yell from my room. "YOU'RE SUCHA DICK, but I love you!" Yelling back I say. "Yeah well I like you!"