Thursday, April 11th

Feeling like I'm surrounded by idiots, everywhere I go, everywhere I look. One of those days where I can't shake that.

I wonder if being all angsty and pissy and mad makes you have violent dreams. I don't like it when I do, because I don't think I'm a violent person, or that I'm like, influencing myself sub-consciously or anything, I'm not gonna gun anyone down.

Last night was a huge muddled up mess of dreams. I got more sleep than usual, fell asleep watching TV well before bedtime but thought I'd try going to bed then anyway, and it worked. Guess I hit the stage where the dreams start getting storylines and visuals sometime before I woke up.

So, take the violent one. The high school wasn't really a high school, it was a college building, I think, and there were a couple of others around it that don't actually exist here in town. Mini-campus up on the hillside that isn't there. Parts of the inside were the same, parts weren't, and I was back in that weird two-story atrium hangout that I've seen and talked about before.

Something happened. I think at first I was the cause of it, but later there was some mechanical mishap or something that caused it, but there was a massive flood in the main building. Some huge part of it, the big gymnasium and a few other parts all filled with water up to the ceiling, up past the windows, all the way to the roof, without bursting down doors or spilling out anywhere else. So there was a huge disaster looming, waiting to blow.

I know about it, and I'm trying to make my way out of the building or something, but it's huge, and it's like a maze. Up and down stairs, up and down hallways, getting frustrated, doing that thing where you're trying to run as fast as you can but it feels like you're trudging through sand and water. Trying to get up to the roof if I can, just get away from the water before it flows and I drown. Meanwhile there's more water coming from somewhere, whole building is like a tank.

I make it to a room that makes no sense. It was a mix between a gymnasium and a locker room, for the wrestling team, but it was all steps, steep, wide steps wider than the bleachers, rolling around the room like waves. I climb my way to the top, around the other side of the room, and up a utility ladder to a platform near the ceiling. There's someone else with me, someone I don't know. It's high and narrow and precarious, and I'm scared.

The water lets out and just floods the shit out of the whole building, the student center and the gym and stairwells and everything. From the roof I ride it out down to the bottom, and it's the bottom of our arena, outside the double doors. There's so much water pouring out that it's sloshing through some of the other buildings too.

I don't see people getting smashed and drowned, but I remember that something like four hundred people died. Then I had to get away from the police, because I thought I was responsible, but no, it was something mechanical, like I said. And then it wasn't me, I was…well I'm not going to say, it's kind of embarrassing. Fictional character, uh…someone animated. So I guess it had gone full cartoon by then.

I don't know. It all kind of went to hell and dissipated from there, but I don't like having this weird violent bone locked away in me somewhere.

Now I'm a little shaken up, and don't want to see it again tonight.

Couple of people I wouldn't mind seeing almost drown, though. And it's raining, hard. Been at it almost constantly since Tuesday night with no signs of stopping.