a/n: WARNING: This oneshot has not been proofread so I apologize for the grammatical/spelling errors you will probably encounter while reading this story.

12 Days of Valentine is dedicated to my good friend, Katherine, who inspired me in writing this.

.

How am I …

12

supposed to tell you how I feel?

Days of Valentine

.

"Why are you crying?"

Shrug. Hiccup.

"Hey, it's okay. Stop crying."

Sniff.

"Tell you what, do you want ice cream?"

Shakes head.

"Cotton candy?"

Shakes head.

"..."

"... anything?"

Shakes head.

You're hopeless.

"Okay, then."

"Can you look up?"

Pause.

Cringe.

"Now, can you see yourself?"

She frowns, looking at her reflection in the compact mirror he was holding.

Why the hell did he have a compact mirror with him?

"It's my sister's."

Ah … an unasked answer.

"I do this when she cries."

"She's a whole lot more beautiful when she isn't crying."

Stare.

"... I bet you are, too."

He smiles.

He smiles and she falls for him.

.

I came apart inside a world made of angry people.

I found a boy who had a dream of making everyone smile.

.

She looked at him from afar, as she did when she longed for them to talk. The first time they did was seven years ago. Her parents were yelling at each other and fighting almost every night that week and when she couldn't take it anymore, she ran outside to wherever her feet took her.

And then they met.

He offered her ice cream.

Cotton candy.

Anything.

And she refused.

"Hey, Calvin! I've been looking everywhere for you, man!" She could hear one of his friends approach him.

Too late, a voice inside her head said. You missed your chance.

Again.

She thought about it. If he offered her anything again, she would never, ever, ever refuse.

Well, actually, who would refuse him?

He was Calvin Jones. Captain of the basketball team, vocalist of his band, Oxygen.

He was …

Her heart skipped a beat when he glanced at her direction. She expected a faint smile, a hint of recognition – but all he did was look her way with a nonchalant expression. Yes. He may have forgotten. He may have forgotten about how important their first encounter was to her.

"She's a whole lot beautiful when she's not crying."

She sighed and turned around, clutching her books tightly.

"... I bet you are, too."

The day after and the day after that, she found no luck. She realized she wasn't going to have any chance or courage to approach him this year, too. But one way or another, she had to tell him how she felt.

Before …

Well, before it was too late.

.

He was sunshine, I fell over.

My feet are like bricks underwater and how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?

.

Day 1 (February 3)

Hello. :)

I would bet a whole lot of money when if I said that you didn't know who I was. Well, you're not supposed to. Not yet, anyway.

I know there isn't much in this first letter, but it's to let you know that I'm here. And there are still other letters to follow.

Well, take care of yourself now.

- E.

.

How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?

I need oxygen.

.

She smiled subtly as she saw him open his locker and read the small brown paper on his hand. He was facing the other way so she couldn't clearly see the expression on his face. Slightly disappointed, she turned around and walked back to the classroom, only to bump in her least favorite person in the world.

"Watch where you're going, freak!" Oh, Tiffany.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Tiffany flicked her platinum blonde hair and crossed her arms while she looked at her icily. "You think your sorry's gonna cut it?"

She bit her lip. "I didn't … mean to …"

"Just move it," the tall blond sneered, pushing her out of the way. She stumbled to the floor at the impact.

Her brown eyes followed the blond as she cat walked her way through the crowded hallway. She sighed and was about to get up when a large, calloused hand stretched out to her.

She looked up and looked away just as fast.

The person withdrew his hand, thinking of her action as a silent rejection.

"Are you okay?" he asked; her heart fluttered.

She nodded and slowly stood up.

"You sure?" he pressed. "You're not hurt or anything."

She shook her head and bowed slightly before turning away.

Nice going, Eris. You had a chance to talk to him and you blew it. Again.

.

Day 2 (February 4)

Hello again. :)

How was your day today? Mine was great. You talked to me. And it reminded me so much of the first time you did.

Thank you. :)

And … good luck! I heard you have basketball practice tomorrow. Good luck! I know you can do an excellent job! I'll always be in the bleachers cheering you on.

- E.

.

Oh baby, if I was your lady, I would make you happy.

I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave.

.

Eris tucked a stray strand of her chocolate-brown hair as she watched him play from afar. The entire team was divided into two groups and were playing against each other. Calvin's team was three points below. Eris frowned slightly as she said a silent good luck to him and his team.

The ball was on one of Calvin's teammates now. From across the gymnasium, she heard him shout Calvin's name and saw him pass the ball. Calvin took it expertly and positioned himself near the three point line when he stepped the wrong way and fell over.

The boys immediately stopped playing and the people in the bleachers – including Eris herself – stood up to see if the school's star player was alright.

"Hey, man, are you okay?"

"Yeah," came his strained voice.

Eris put one foot forward to come to him when she stopped herself. No. If she went there, she might make things worse. She couldn't afford him getting hurt anymore.

Calming herself, she sat down again, pulling a pen and a small piece of paper from her bag.

.

Day 3 (February 5)

I saw you fall.

Are you okay? Are you hurt badly? Did you break your ankle? What did the doctor say? Did you go to the doctor?

I really do hope you're okay.

I was worried.

I still am. :(

Get well soon.

I'm still rooting for you.

- E.

.

She walked her way through the empty hallways. It was seven o'clock in the evening and, typically, no students were around anymore. She only stayed this late because she was working part-time in the school library. Seven was the time she usually went home. She also took it as an opportunity to slip her letters inside his locker without anyone seeing her.

She stopped on her tracks when she saw a yellow post-it pressed on his locker door.

She cautiously approached as she looked around.

Her eyes widened. The words on the paper were written in his hand.

If you were really at the bleachers, you must've seen me fall.

Sorry about that. I was trying to look if you were there.

Who are you?

- C.

Her heart must've stopped. She must have stared at the paper for so long to make sure that she wasn't imagining it.

Calvin wrote back.

Calvin. Wrote. Back!

She took her pen and paper from her bag to write a new note.

Day 3.5 (February 5)

I'm sorry.

I can't tell you who I am yet.

But you will know.

Get well soon!

- E.

She slipped both her letters inside his locker and carefully folded his before she headed home with a goofy smile.

Atta go, Eris!

.

Oh baby, I will be your lady.

I am going crazy for you.

.

He didn't come to school today.

He didn't … come to school today.

Some how this made her anxious to unexpected lengths.

Why didn't he come to school? Did he fall that bad? Was he okay?

She drummed her fingers against the wooden desk until the school bell rang, signaling the end of classes that day. She took her bag and walked out of the room, towards his locker. She was contemplating whether she'd give him Day 4 today or not, since she doubted that he has read the previous notes …

Wait a minute.

Eris couldn't believe her eyes. Calvin was there! He was in a cast and had two crutches on either side of his arm. He was … reading her letters! He was … he came!

It was not long after before the others noticed his presence and approached him with constant, "How are you's" and "How are you feeling's"

Eris stood where she was until the crowd subsided. She saw him pull out another yellow post it and write something.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Was that a note for her, again?

He pressed the post it inside his locker, but a small corner was sticking out. She looked around to make sure nobody else saw. It was for her.

She smiled as she made her way to the library, telling herself to wait until seven before she went to his note and read it.

.

Dear Anonymous Sender,

I'm fine.

The doctor said my foot had to be cemented for one week, though, so I can't do anything vigorous, like basketball.

I really wish I knew who you are.

- C.

She sighed. I didn't think you'd be interested anymore if you did.

She took out her pen and paper and wrote.

Day 4 (February 6)

I'm glad. :)

You're very lucky that it wasn't serious.

And one week is okay. I'm sure even after that you're still going to do great.

- E.

PS: I don't think you know me.

.

Anonymous Sender,

You flatter me too much. (Laughs) Just kidding.

I'm so bored. Basketball has been a part of my daily routine, you know? Without it I just feel … empty.

Now, to entertain myself, I write songs. If we're lucky, Oxygen might be able to play some over the PA this week.

How about you, E? (Can I call you E? I don't know what else to call you since I don't even know your full name.) What do you do during your free time?

- C.

.

Day 5 (February 7)

Me? Well, I like reading books. And listening to music. So I'd like that if I could hear your song over the PA.

And, yes, I think you can call me E, Calvin.

Good luck on your song!

- E.

.

Eris saw Calvin about five times at the library that day. If it was because of homework or finding a quiet place to write his song, she didn't know.

Then again, there was the slightest possibility that he was here because of what she said about her liking books.

She mentally kicked herself.

No that'd be impossible.

She watched as he made his way out of the library again. She sighed before she went back to her stamps.

.

And so I found a state of mind, where I could be speechless.

I had to try it for a while, to figure out this feeling.

.

Day 6 (February 8)

You were at the library a whole lot of times today. Got something you need for homework or something? I could help you, you know.

Just tell me.

- E.

.

E,

Yes. As a matter of fact I do. If you saw me at the library, then my hunch was correct about you being there.

I need to find you.

Please tell me who you are. I can't stop thinking about it.

- C.

.

'It', Eris. He said he couldn't stop thinking about 'it'. Not 'you'.

She sighed and got ready when she saw two of her school mates with books in their arms.

"Have you heard about Calvin?" one said to the other. Eris froze.

"What about him?" Yes, what about Calvin?

"Well, I heard he practically begged the audio club adviser so that he and his band could sing on the PA or something," the girl said.

"Why? They frequently sang on the PA anyway. Why beg?"

Both girls lay their books on the counter as Eris absently worked on them.

"He wanted to sing on Valentine's Day."

.

Day 7 (February 9)

I hear you and your band are gonna sing on Valentine's Day. :) What are you going to sing? Your new song?

I'm sure whatever you sing, you're going to do great!

- E.

.

E,

Yes. I actually want to dedicate it to someone.

- C.

.

Day 8 (February 10)

Who? That person must be very lucky. :)

- E.

.

E,

Yes. I can't wait to meet her. :)

- C.

.

Eris didn't know what happened, but the next day, word was out that the Calvin Jones was having a penpal. And everyone was just so willing to find out who she was. Including the ever-nosy Tiffany Hale.

"Hey, Williams," Tiffany's bossy voice called from across the room.

Eris's head raised up.

Tiffany approached slowly and stopped about a meter away from Eris's desk. "You work at the library, right?"

Eris nodded.

"Good. Then get me a list of all the female students with their names or surnames starting with E," she said crossing her arms across her chest and walking away, without even asking for an approval.

Eris rolled her eyes.

Yeah, like she was going to do that.

.

Day 9 (February 11)

You told people about me.

- E.

.

E,

Yes. Because I needed to find you. I asked people around if they knew about you.

I'm sorry.

- C.

.

Eris's jaw hardened at his last words. Sorry? Why was he asking for forgiveness? He didn't have to. She would never get mad at him.

She took out a pen and paper and was finished with writing the date when she saw a flash of light nearby.

She immediately whirled around to see Tiffany's smirking face.

"See, if you only did what I asked you to do, this would never have happened," she cooed.

Eris found herself dropping the pen and paper to the floor as she stared wide eyed at the tall blonde.

"On the other hand, I'm glad you didn't comply. It made me wonder … your full name was Eris Williams. E. And then, you don't do what I say, so, therefore … maybe, I thought. Maybe you had something to hide, huh?" she asked, the smirk still visible in her features.

"Tell you what," she said, inching closer to the brunette. "I won't tell your secret, but you must promise me that you're not going to write to Calvin anymore. Understand."

She looked away and nodded slowly.

No! No! No! Why are you agreeing? You can't!

"Good," she said while waving her digital camera before Eris's face. "Remember: I have this with me."

And those were her last words before she walked away.

.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't write to you anymore.

I'm sorry I couldn't congratulate you on your walking again.

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you who I am.

I'm sorry I couldn't defend myself.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

.

This felt so right. Pull me upside. Down to a place where you've been waiting.

How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?

.

Days passed. Day Ten. Day Eleven … and today was Day Twelve.Everyday, she would see him standing by his locker, frowning slightly. Looking disappointed that she wasn't dropping him any letters anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

She tried to. She tried to bid him goodbye. One more note. Just one more note and she'd leave for real.

Just … goodbye.

But she was living on a constant fear. Because whenever she tried to come near his locker, Tiffany Hale would be there. If she told everyone who E was … she was … Eris Williams.

A nobody.

And surely, everyone else, would mock her. Including Calvin. Because if Calvin found out she was the crying girl he met seven years ago, she'd doubt he'd like her. Or even acknowledge her as a friend.

"Hey, everyone! Happy V-Day to all of you! This is Calvin Jones from Oxygen and we're here to sing a new song to all of you!"

Eris could hear cheers from around her. People still cheered for Calvin. Even though they knew that he wasn't going to hear them.

I'm cheering for you, too …

"But before that …" A pause. "I'd like to dedicate this song to someone special to me."

Eris frowned.

Why are you disappointed? He did say he was going to dedicate the song to somebody, right?

"... E? Are you listening?"

Eris's head popped up. He was … calling me?

.

Oh baby, if I was your lady, I would make you happy. I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave.

Oh baby, I will be your lady. I am going crazy for you.

.

"Listen, E. I'm sorry. If you're mad at me or something. I just want you to know … and … well I want everyone else to know that I'm really thankful I met you," Calvin said. "I'm happy to know that you're there. That you were always there … and I … would like to dedicate this song to you."

He was … dedicating a song to me?

Eris was frozen on the spot.

To me?

Unconsciously, she felt tears roll down her cheeks.

You …

She wiped them hastily with the back of her hand.

finally saw me.

.

And you don't wanna keep me waiting.

Staring at my fingers, feeling like a fool.

.

Finally …

She turned and ran to the audio room.

finally, I am someone to you.

.

It's too late baby, there's no turning around
I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud
This is how I do
When I think about you
I never thought that you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart
You want to get inside
Then you can get in line
But not this time

Cause you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

.

"Hey, it's okay. Stop crying."

She could almost hear his voice.

Make a mark, Eris. Make your mark.

.

I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And it's so surreal
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why
You'd even try
But I won't lie

You caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

.

"She's a whole lot more beautiful when she isn't crying."

A moment later, Tiffany was standing right before her.

"What do you think you're doing?" she screeched.

Eris glared at her icily. "Move," she said.

Tiffany scoffed. "So you really want me to announce to everyone that you're Calvin's secret stalker?"

"I don't care," the brunette said. "Just get out of my way," she continued as she ran past her.

That's it, honey. Don't look back.

.

And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded

And you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

.

She ran up the stairs and through the crowd of people.

Almost there.

I'm almost there.

.

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)
And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around
(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)
And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around
(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded

.

And with the last note, she opened the audio room door, panting heavily.

Calvin's blond hair and blue eyes was the first things she saw.

He looked shocked for a moment, but then let out a light laugh.

"Hello, Eris," he greeted, smiling. "I knew it was you."

See? He knew you all along.

.

I came apart inside a world made of angry people.

I found a boy who had a dream of making everyone smile.

.

FIN.