Evolution, But Not Evolution

It's not like before
We've all changed, evolved,
Into what we're expected to be.

Sometimes it doesn't work out
Like you wanted and
You just have to accept that.

But that won't stop me
From remembering before
When it was simpler and
I understood the world
Because it was black and white
And we fought over crayons
Instead of vodka bottles.

And it was better then
Because sorry was enough
To grant forgiveness
And we didn't know enough
About the world to discriminate.

I miss childhood,
I miss the innocence it bought,
I miss being who I am,
Instead of what society forces me to be.
I miss the childhood friendships
That dissolved and were forgotten.
Gosh, I miss it all.

My best friend and I -
Not the first best friend,
Nor the second,
But my best friend now -
don't see each other much,
And I'm scared that
I'll lose her too.

Sometimes I think about the future
And I wonder which of my friends
I will inevitably lose -
Will there be a fourth best friend?
A fifth? -
And I think,
It doesn't have to be this way
But it's how I've let it become
And I'm sickened by my abandonment.

This new world scares me,
And as I'm smiling at new friends,
I'm screaming inside.