The Four Step Hippy Rehabilitation Method

A Governmental Guideline For The Management of Rabble Rousers

Good morrow, faithful subjects! During the course of our quest for world domination and the inducement of mass conformity, it is only natural that we may encounter opposition in the form of peace pushing, freedom advocating leftist malcontents, otherwise known as 'hippies'. These individuals will disagree with our policies, fighting back in the form of music and art that sends a strong message and has the potential to influence the follower-personalities we mainly keep neutral and self-indulgent with media and the subliminal conditioning of standard education. Most of these people we subdue during their preadolescence with the brainchild of our MKUltra and Project Artichoke experimentations during the 60's, Ritalin, but every once in a while one slips through the cracks. It is imperative to know how to successfully deal with these hurdles as they present themselves, as their laughable senses of chivalry and morality will undoubtedly force them to do. So! Without further ado!

Step 1 : BANG.

Step 2 : BANG.

Step 3 : BANG.

Step 4 : BANG.

Accomplishing these simple tasks with any standard 9 mm handgun will effectively silence the targetted hippy. For extreme cases, sometimes a fifth BANG may be necessary, depending on the determination of the malcontent in question. As the first four BANGs will undoubtedly have dropped him or her, the fifth, if necessary, may be easily applied to the cranium, causing instantaneous death.

Happy mind-raping!

John Johnson

Director of the CIA