First off thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it, inane ramblings and all. If not on the latter point, well, doubly thank you for persevering then. The question that is probably running through your mind is whether or not the character in the story is supposed to be me. Well, in a word: yes... and no. You might be wishing to point out now that that was two words, three if you count the structural 'and'. Well, sorry about that then. Anyhow, consider him a fictionalized version of me. I am a programmer, I am a farmer, I am political (I did vote in the PC leadership race), I am a writer (well, no $#!^ Sherlock...) and I am a lifelong Internet user. I am home-schooled, and yes, I am alone.
The dreams seen here do exist, though not quite in the form I portrayed. They are not commonly the results of complete unconsciousness, as usually I summon them myself at night. If I think of something overwhelming like an infatuation or a lover I can dull my mind and get my consciousness to release its iron grip. That is not to say that the pain does not exist, but it is not felt during sleep but more often when I can not get to sleep - sort of a backlash against my use of the fantasies. Call it 'Conscious Desperation'. The story of my search for someone to express myself with is also true, and everything about it right down to my rant against social networking reflects reality. And yes, the thought of trying to find someone here was motivational towards my getting a FictionPress account.
So then, what do I ask of you than dear reader? Well, nothing at all, not directly. You have already read my story, or at least zipped forward to read the afterword on its own for some strange reason I can not quite fathom, and for that I am very thankful. Still, if you feel like you have more to give, I am open to any one of these things: you can post a review, I do not care whether it is glowing or somewhat critical as long as it is honest and constructive (I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on which girl was your favourite), or you can favourite it or me; you can even read my other work as well. The options here are endless.
A special consideration comes up however, if you too are young and lonely. If you are male, well, sorry I am not the one for you, but I am perfectly open to you expressing your frustrations to me and my providing a friendly ear. If you are female, well I think you can guess what I would want. Even if you are not lonely but just curious, please feel free to get in touch. I am not asking for a lover, I am asking for a friend. A feminine voice. That is all. If you are anyone else, I again hope you have enjoyed my story and that you enjoyed your Valentine's Day - with a lover (or lovers, its not my bag) beside you or not. If you are asexual, without any thoughts on the matter at all, than cheers to you too. I am open to anyway you seek to enjoy yourselves. Have a good day, and yes thank you again for reading!
Oh, one last thing. The drawing of my little interior Valentines does exist, as I did doctor one up. Anyone who gets in touch will get it. Salute!
January 31 - February 14, 2012
Revised version completed on February 23, 2012, and re-formatted version on June 23, 2014.
2014 Re-formatted Version Note: first a big thank you to CrazyLittleGermanMiss, who has rather turned out to be that friend and 'feminine voice' (well, in a way) that I was looking for (a bit of a mix between Kate and Lee ;-D), even if it was not this story that got her to get in touch (and thanks to all else who have talked to me on here!). Secondly, thank you to Shelby Jacobs for his constructive criticisms and more importantly his personal advice that proved far more helpful in terms of my objective here than this story itself did (and thank you InuKaguFan for your review as well, as well as Luckycool9 for selecting it as a favourite, and all 310 other viewers). Finally, I have replaced my rather crude, cartoonish renderings of the characters that I had with a new version based on a more realistic template I constructed after spending the last year (April 30, 2013-2014) doing a drawing study on the human form. The offer to send it over still stands, for both versions in fact. Once again, thanks all!