Phinger nails are phunny phings

On dentists, dustmen even kings,

Women polish, paint and phile

Mechanics clean them all the while,

On phinger ends they're always there

Expecting you to give them care,

They trap the muck and dirt and grime

So you must clean them all the time,

Break them, cut them, bite them down

Catch them on your phavourite gown,

You can phile and you can pick,

You can chip and you can nick,

You can wear them to the wick,

And still they're back double quick !

To poke your nose or scratch your head

Or claw an itch until it's red,

No substitute has yet been made

Not even artiphicial aid!

Use a hammer and I bet

A phinger nail is what you get,

Japs pulled them out and they were right

They're better oph out of sight !