I keep our message open to stare at
even after I know you won't see it,
looking back through everything we did.
I keep what you've given me on a pedestal in my room
and mark the differences
as the years since I learned your name.

I want us to run again, to fall and to get up,
shouting to each other the whole time.
I want you to tell me things like you used to.

I want to hold you again
because now if I said I felt it too, I wouldn't be lying.

I don't want to see your writing on anyone else's heart
but I want to smell your hair and your markers
when I wake up.