You ignore me, it doesn't matter.
Your silence comforts me.
I'm not in trouble for once.
You find something I left out, or didn't put away.
And you yell, and yell.
When I say nothing you yell more, and raise your hand.
I'm determined not to show my fear.
So, I pretend to give in.
While the rebellion burns inside me.
I don't come instantly to your call.
So you yell and yell, and threaten me.
My throat burns with unshed tears, my eyes unwilling to bear them.
I curse you inside my mind.
Daring you to, so I can strike back.
I know I can, but if you'd only give me the chance.
I hate it when you come home; it seems, just to yell more at me.
Insults fly off your lips, my eyes burn threatening to show my hurt.
Half of what you say makes no sense.
But you won't listen to anything I say so it doesn't matter does it?
You find fault in everything I do.
You hypocrite, you do it too! I shout.
But you'll tell me that since you're in charge nothing else matters.
Not my feeling, not my desires, not anything that's me.
Whatever I want, whatever I watch, whatever music I hear, is stupid.
Stupid like me.
You don't care about me.
I've never truly felt your love.
Now I'm sure I don't want it.
I've learned to live without you.
I don't need you anymore.
But you claim I do.
But still it doesn't matter.
No, it's me who doesn't matter.
As I pour these words out of my mind, I begin to cry.
Because I realize that all of it is true.
But, there are people who make my life better, so I don't have to think about you all the time.
And sometimes you hurt them too.
And yet, I say nothing.
I want nothing more than for you to completely ignore me.
It would be best.
So I must escape into my mind, to save me from insanity