I sat there for a while, it took more than a few minutes for me to finally be able to move my leg. I positioned myself awkwardly so I could stand up, my knees shook uncontrollably. I could not forget the taste of his fire kisses, they tingled uncontrollably along my neck and my lips. I blushed and fell forward onto his bed, my legs could not withstand my weight at the moment.

It all seemed so surreal. I tried to ignore the voice that reminded me every few seconds that he tried to do so much more than just kiss me like usual. I failed miserably and began blushing again. I curled up and hugged my legs, it helped to ease the butterflies whirling around in my stomach. I smothered my face in the blanket and let the dizzying feeling in my head lead me into a deep sleep.

Alex POV

I ran, I hoped that I could outrun my troubles, but alas that was not the case. I finally stopped realizing how childish I was being and sat down leaning against an abandoned storage building.

I had a clear view of a line of Jews. It was obvious we were running out of time to complete The Final Solution, so the gas chambers were constantly running. I could see the utter agony each individual was in, it was so clearly written on their sunken faces and starved bodies that I could not believe I had never noticed it before now. Each face was a human being and my stomach churned watching them go into those doors by the hundreds.

I cocked my head to the side when I heard the crack of a gunshot. A soldier arrogantly waved around his gun and shot at the ground shouting for the ones nearest to him to dance. He laughed with malicious glee, his eyes could barely contain the sadistic pleasure he derived from their humiliation. When a single Jew refused to play his perverse game, the soldier's smile never faltered. He proceeded to beat the man down with the hilt of his gun. I heard the sickening crunch of bone and the splash of blood splattering on the soldier's face.

I could not take it any longer and called out, "Why are you doing that?"

The soldier looked up for a second as if he just realized that he was not alone, as he registered the question, his head darted around wildly searching for the source of the voice who dared challenge him. No one would look him in his manic eyes afraid of receiving the blame and the repercussions that would follow.

His eyes fell on me and they calmed quite a bit, he stood up straight and saluted to me, his commanding officer, "Major Bossert, I apologize, I did not see you there."

"Why are you doing that?" I repeated uninterested in his apology, my eyes darted in-between the moaning elder and the suddenly calm soldier, my stomach trembling uncomfortably.

"Doing what sir?" He was confused, in his mind he was not doing anything out of the ordinary.

"Beating that man and harassing them as they march towards their deaths?"

He quirked an eyebrow and looked around making sure that I was talking to him, feeling as though it was very obvious what he was doing and perhaps he was simply at the end of a bad joke. "Because I am bored?"

I turned away from him and thought about it to myself. "Because he is bored." I felt sick to my stomach-is this how I used to be?

I cringed, 'used to?' No, I was no different, I tried to force her to do something she did not want to do. 'Why! Why did I do that? You knew she would not like it. She has simply been tolerating you since you keep her safe-how dare you make such a stupid assumption that she would want to do something like that with you?' I scratched viciously along my scalp relishing the painful pulses leaking from my scrapes, willing the world to go back in time before I made such an idiotic mistake.

"Alex!" A melodic voice called to me. I sighed knowing who it was. This was the first time I was not excited to see my two best friends. "I am so happy to finally see you outside, it feels as though you have been avoiding us!" Adelina joked not realizing what she said had been profoundly true. It had been a few months, but very few obligatory conversations connected us since the first time they came to Auschwitz simply because I did not want her to feel any more awkward than she had to.

"Hello." I groaned out my greeting in no mood to speak to anyone.

"Wow, grumpy." Adelina and Klaus paused their step for a split second before continuing, they did not know if they should interrupt my thoughts or not.

"I apologize." I brushed my lips against her hand and shook Klaus's, it was all in a swift motion through much practice. "What brings you here?" I asked weakly not really caring.

"We just came back from the meadow, it is almost identical to our spot. But before I forget, you always seem to run off so quickly that we did not have a chance to tell you how charmed we are with Isabella. She is...fun." Isabella paused before saying 'fun', it felt unnatural for her to compliment anyone that I would marry as fun. "We were afraid you would never find the perfect girl, and we were so shocked when we first saw her, but we did not want to be rude." Adelina and Klaus looked at each other and chuckled a bit remembering how difficult it was to keep calm. "Which reminds me," Adelina pushed me playfully, "Why did you never tell us about your engagement or even meeting her?"

I did not bother commenting or answering any of their questions, I just stared at them. Adelina's blonde hair curls bounced the moonlight off of her perfectly, making her look even more radiant that she usually did. Klaus's smile was carefree and charming, his nonchalant demeanor and slightly plump figure made him such a pleasant and easy going person. Their style and beauty together as a couple repelled the ongoing horrors behind them, they were simply visitors to such chaos, 'Unlike me and her….' I thought miserably, we looked as though we belonged here and I felt trapped as though we would forever be bound to this wretched place.

"What is troubling you my friend?" Klaus wiped the smile clean from his face and waited for me to answer.

"Isabella." My stomach roared at the sound of that name.

"Ah young love." Klaus's face lightened, "What happened?"

"I love her so much." Goosebumps rose from my skin, I finally admitted it, so relieving yet so guilty.

"We could tell." Adelina sighed in happiness for me.

Klaus cupped Adelina's cheek for a second and looked back at me with warm eyes, "So what is the problem?"

"She does not love me back." I blinked back my watering eyes, my mind kept replaying her horrified face as she fell. She did not want me, and it hurt so much more than I thought it would.

"What?" Klaus knit his eyebrows, "Why did she agree to marry you then?"

'It's now or never…' I sighed. "None of it is true. I lied to you."

"What are you talking about?" Adelina took a step back, I knew they could see the real love I felt for her and it seemed impossible that all of it was fabricated.

"She does not love me and we are not engaged." The more I revealed my secrets, the more it felt like poison was being purged from my body. "Her name is not Isabella, and I have no idea what is actually is." Tears pricked at my eyes but I blinked them back. I hesitated for a second before I admitted the worst offense. "She is not even German, she is a Jewish prisoner I saved from here. Her existence has shaken my beliefs to my core, it has come to the point where I can no longer do my duties efficiently because I am afraid I may kill someone close to her. " Their faces went from sympathetic to horrified.

It was silent for a few minutes, neither me nor Klaus nor Adelina could think of anything to say.

"Alex." Klaus finally spoke up. I looked up apprehensively waiting for his next words. "You need to leave." His cold voice stabbed my stomach. "You are no longer the Alex we knew. You have betrayed everything and everyone for this one girl and we are no exception. We will turn a blind eye to everything you just admitted to us, but I will never do it again." Klaus emphasized that he himself would stop me if I ever tried to get close again. Adelina knelt down shedding a few tears and cupped my cheek, she held my gaze only for a second to let me know she still cared about me. Klaus looked at me coldly, like I knew he would once I told him the truth. They took a few steps, but Klaus's for once stern voice sliced through the brisk night air, "Take care of her."

I watched them walk away hand in hand. They were sad. Not any kind of normal sadness, but the kind of lonely, heart breaking sadness that came from losing a brother. Life would never be the same for them, and I knew they would often feel this same creeping sorrow in the future. Even though they both knew the future they would face, they both still chose to abandon me.

Why? I could pretend to not know and mask my sorrow with anger, hold down my emotions, and let the rage eat away at my insides. Or I could accept that they love each other more than they love me. Neither of them would let the other bear the consequences of aiding a Jewish prisoner and a German traitor. I did not blame them. I knew how they felt so I let them walk away knowing that I would never see them again nor would I ever seek them out. I still loved them and would help them in their time of need should they ever ask for it, as long as they never tried to harm the most important person in my life.

I sighed, my stomach swirled painfully. My face made an involuntary grimace, it was even more painful than when-" The heat drained from my face.

No. Please. No! DAMN IT! PLEASE NO!

By the time I realized that I was running I was in front of my door. My heartbeat pulsated in my ears and it felt as though someone was shoving a pistol down my throat. I gulped hard, I raised my white-knuckled fist and knocked shakily against the door. "Isabella?" I covered up the tremble in my voice before it was recognizable. I turned the knob and pushed the creaky door into the sweeping blackness and took a cautious step inside, dreading what I might find inside.


Someone's voice lured me back from the dream world, but I resisted. I wanted nothing more than Alex's sweet embrace, but I knew he would find his way to me and do so as I slept. I sighed feeling completely content, I felt Alex turn my body around and kiss me. I smiled sleepily and kissed him back. He kissed me again and again, each kiss more aggressive than the last. I frowned, "Alex, you are starting to hurt me." He grabbed the back of my head and wrenched my hair painfully in his grasp. I let out a small yelp before it was smothered by his lips bruising mine.

I tried scrambling from him, but he secured himself above me and held me down. I tried yelling but one of his hands clasped over my mouth. "Shhhh do not worry, I am a doctor." That eerily familiar voice chilled my blood and the creepy cackle that followed after sent a harsh tremble down my spine, but my limbs would not stop thrashing for a second.

My tongue slobbered all over his hand, an accidental product of my attempts at biting his tight hold. This did not go unnoticed by Mengele, he let out a maniacal giggle. He removed his hand for a split second and attacked my tongue with his. Stringy spit oozed from his clamped mouth and onto my face. I did not know what else to do and I bit down as hard as I could on his disgusting slimy snake.

Mengele cried out harshly, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes burned with the most agonizing rage. He felt the blood dribble from his mouth, I widened my terrified eyes seeing nothing but his reared back fist slamming continuously against my head until all my thoughts clouded in pain. My brain struggled intensely to stay conscious.

I heard Mengele ramble his insane thoughts under his breath, his fumbling hands quickly unbuckled his clacking belt. "No." I whimpered feeling my consciousness being challenged again. There was an unmistakable noise of a zipper, I felt the ripping pain as he pushed himself inside of me stealing the virtue that I wanted only Alex to have. That was the last thought running through my mind before I felt myself slip into darkness once more.

I woke up to Mengele wrenching my face towards him, he looked into my eyes with a wide smile. I glared back feeling nothing but hatred for him, I ripped my face away from his grasp. An animalistic growl that I did not know I possessed sounded deep in my throat.

"You disappoint me." Mengele snarled back. I knew he wanted to see my eyes go dead and for me to lie here defeated, and in any other case I might have done just that, but in that moment I wanted nothing more than to wring the life out of him. But the beating and the rape stole all the energy I had, my movements were sluggish but I still lunged at him trying to close my hands around his throat.

He threw me back onto the floor and hissed, "It is a shame that I will not witness your inevitable death." He stormed off angry that I did not act as he thought I would.

I was furious and hurt and numb, but I took hollow comfort knowing that I would never see his despicable face again, whether he dies a horrible death he no doubt deserves or he goes into hiding for the rest of his pathetic life, I knew he would never come back to the site of his atrocious crimes, not while the Allies were tracking him down.

I sat on that icy floor for what felt like days, I hugged my trembling knees against me covering my shameful naked body. Once the fiery rage wore off, it left a cold one resting in my chest and finally the tears came trickling down my bruised face, but I did not make a sound louder than my beating heart.

"Isabella?" I heard another voice call out. I felt my body involuntarily tighten and shiver. The door creaked as the person stepped in, the footsteps thundered towards me until I saw the owner's shoes staring at my glistening face.

"I-" He started before cutting himself off, he did that a few times more before finally taking a deep breath and said, "I am sorry."

I let out a harsh scoff, "You are sorry?" My voice was as bitter and as hoarse as it had ever been.

I looked up wanting to lash out and throw all my hatred and pain at him, I wanted to watch him writhe in agony wishing he had never left me and selfishly make him hurt for what had happened to me. But when I saw his already sad red eyes gushing wave after wave of salty tears, I could not break his heart like I had planned to.

I stood up taking shaky steps towards the bathroom. My clumsy feet stumbled over themselves throwing my entire body forward, Alex's strong arms caught me before my face reached the floor. I quickly recovered not wanting Alex to touch my disgusting body, as though touching it would swallow infect him as well. I threw off his hands and clutched at the shredded openings of my beige covering. I walked slowly barely making progress, when I finally reached the wall, I collapsed against it proving the few steps to be too much. I slid down the side of the wall and touched the welts forming on the left side of my face. Tears fell from my swollen eye and I never felt so pitiful in my entire life.

Alex crouched down to me wrapping his arms around my body refusing to relent to my struggles against it, eventually I gave up and let him cry against me. "I must shower." I said quietly when his crying slowed.

"Let me go with you." He immediately perked his head, there was a desperate tone to his voice. "Please. Please. I will not do anything, just please let me be with you. Imagining you leaving my sight again…" He could not finish his sentence, but I understood what he meant. He could only imagine Mengele coming back.

I stared into his eyes. His pleading eyes attacked my bruised heart. "Okay." I replied knowing he could not survive me refusing him.

He sat in the corner and did not dare twitch, I undressed easily letting the scalding water wash my filthy skin. I scratched at my body, everywhere my hands could reach I did not care about the stinging water burning my crimson flesh. I felt so dirty, like I could not face anyone else especially not Alex with this disgusting body of mine. I thought maybe if I scratched hard enough I would shed it all off until I became someone else.

My eyes shot open when I felt something grab my hands. I looked down, Alex's hands stopped my own, I turned to look at him through the sheet of steam. His uniform was getting soaked, but he did not care, he simply stared at my face like I was the only person in the entire world. They begged me to stop torturing my body. They streamed water that I knew did not come from the shower.

I put my head down and turned around again waiting for him to do something. Alex finally moved, he lowered the temperature of the water and gently rubbed the soap against my skin. "Do not worry, this is regular soap." He calmed me down before I could even react. His touch sent me into a near comatose state, it was so inviting and sweet I could not believe how nice it felt.

My father kissed my forehead and continued, "When you know that a boy truly trusts you; and truly loves you for everything you even with all your little faults is when he cries because something has hurt you. When he cries, he is telling you that he loves you and trusts you enough to show you when he is most vulnerable."

My heart fluttered. He loved me… Alex loved me. Me. A lowly Jewish prisoner, and he still loved me despite all of this. Through everything he had to sacrifice and how much pain and danger I put him through and he still fell in love with me. "I love you." I whispered in a barely audible tone.

The soap fell from his flaccid fingers. "What?" Alex's voice asked hopefully, like he could not believe his ears and that it was more likely he had imagined it rather than me actually saying it.

"I love you." I said again amazed at my own courage.

I felt him place his head against my warm back, he smiled. "I love you too." I understood how much he had wanted to say that before, how much agony he had gone through being unable to say it thus far.

When he finished washing my body Alex stood up slowly, he turned off the water and cradled me in his arms gently placing me down on his bed again. He changed his clothes and lied down next to me, staring at my face with wonder. His eyes were for once not worried about anything else, they were finally light and had a look of someone that was truly eighteen. He was so happy and simply wanted to bask in my gaze for as long as he could.

I will never let anyone hurt you again, he promised me with his eyes and for absolutely no reason at all I believed him. Despite all the evidence that pointed to the contrary, it did not matter, I believed him.

I dreamt that night. I saw the situation I had been in, desperately clawing my way away from Mengele, but unsuccessfully. I screamed and pleaded for it to stop, but all I felt was the overwhelming grief and hopelessness in my chest. But before Mengele could take my virginity Alex appeared before us and without a single touch he made him disappear into thin air. Without taking his eyes off of me for even a second, he made all my problems go away. We left together hand in hand away from his room, and this despicable place.

"Wake up!" Alex shook me awake. My eyes opened instantly seeing the panicked look in his eyes my exhaustion quickly subsided. "We must leave now!" He had a bag around himself, he winced slightly and his hand automatically lunged at his crimson side.

"What happened?" I sucked in air horrified.

"Not now." He smiled painfully willing me to get up. He led me to his gaping bedroom door. Confusion gripped all my senses and I could barely convince myself that this was not a dream. All I knew was that I trusted Alex and would follow him to my death and as I stared at the gaping darkness he walked me through, I knew it was very likely to be so.

A/N: Wow! Haven't updated in forever! I actually had most of this story done, but my brother took my computer before I could get the documents on my new computer. -.- So I had to start everything over again including all the other stories I had, so naturally I lost a lot of motivation, but for now here's a new chapter! :D

Read and review. :)