Arc II- Rising

October 5th

It's been a while since I've had the chance to write in this. So much has happened, in the last few days, it's like every dream and nightmare I've had all rolled up into some horrible slurry. I can hardly believe any of it, and it scares me. What I did to Mom…they said the stress just made me lose control, and that she's going to be okay. Eventually. Well what if I lose control like that again? It's terrifying to think about, like if we were in the middle of finals and I snapped like that and hurt Kiko-chan, or Yukari-chan, or Oba-sama. Or Hiroto. I mean, why me? Why did I have to be born with this power? Akira-chan says I was probably some epic hero in a past life and this is my reward, but right now it feels more like I'm being punished. I mean, foreign assassins showed up at the school to kidnap me, and I almost gotten eaten by something that looked like it escaped from one of Kiko-chan's dirty movies. Seriously, how many spiders did I have to kill in the morning to get saddled with this?

Living in Hiroto's house has been…weird, to say the least, but I don't feel right going back home. I nearly threw up three times when we went back to get my stuff, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And, of course, Mai is Mom's sister, so it would feel just as weird. Though just between you and me, I've never liked spending the night at her apartment anyway. Everything's just so rigid and orderly, and I'm always afraid I'm going to break something. Hiroto's place definetly has the lived-in feel. Too much so, really. What little time free time I've had I've spent trying to make this place fit for human habitation, since Hiroto and Akira-chan can't apparently can't even broach the subject without ripping one another's heads off. We're supposedly the same age, but I think I know exactly how Mom must have felt when I was six.


Er, right. Hiroto's place. It's such a weird house. Supposedly, his American grandfather designed it to represent the link between East and West after the war, but it's just so ugly! And he gets so mad whenever I bring it up, I can't tell if his family pride is offended, if he agrees but doesn't want to admit it, or both, and it's so adorable! Oh, I'm going to give him so much grief for that nasty prank he pulled on Akira-chan and me the other night! I guess I should have seen it coming that she's a girl, he's been secretive enough about it (which I can understand, considering the circumstances), but how I found out…grr! But she's really cool! Her family comes from Hokkaido, and she says that they've been some kind of monster hunting clan for generations, and they've been onmyodo and samurai. It seems so mind boggling to have such a rich family history when my family's never kept track of anything past the Meiji era. Akira-chan's has some kind of power over elements, and she's been teaching me a bit of wind magic. It's…it's too soon to really describe what it's like, except that it's just…wow…just amazing. I even levitated a little today. I spazzed out so much, I flipped over and cracked my head on the wall. We've all agreed to stop practicing indoors.

But what the weirdest part about this situation (apart from the magic, of course), is how uncomfortable I've suddenly gotten around Hiroto. I mean, there's no reason not to. I'm living in his freaking house, with our chaperone being someone our age. Said chaperone is a girl! Who he's been living with for half a year. I still don't know how I feel about that, I don't care how big a tomboy she is, or how firmly best-buddies they seem to be. The worst part is that the bastard's been lying to me our whole lives! I mean, hell! We've been together all our lives, and he's been hiding this huge secret about magic from me. It's different for Mom and Oba-sama: I've always known they were badass, and it doesn't seem like their mage persona and civilian personas are much different (still trying to figure out Dad, he hasn't talked much), but for Hiroto it's like there's almost nothing in common with the Hiroto I've known and Hiroto of the Sun Guard. Or maybe I'm just so frazzled that I can't see the similarities. I feel like I should hate him, but whenever I try, I find myself thinking about how safe it felt in his arms while he was defending me in the battle, the warmth in my stomach whenever our powers mingle. And right now I can't stop thinking about how I'm spending the night in his house, unchaperoned, with his room right across the hall from mine! How weird is that!? I mean, we grew up together, there's no way I could possibly think of him like that, can I? Am I a pervert? Why the hell is this the thing that's bothering me the most right now when I have some kind of magical nuclear power plant thing inside of me? When I. Have. Magic! I want Mom back so much. I need someone to talk to. Mostly to say I'm sorry. But also because I can trust her more with this stuff than I can with Oba-sama. I tried bringing it up with Akira-chan after I sent Hiroto after the groceries, but she looked just as freaked out by the subject as I am. It was actually pretty cute, seeing her get all red like that.

Well, school's still out after the so-called terrorist attack that actually was, and I've gotten permission to go hang out with Yukari and Kiko tomorrow. Permission. To hang out with my best friends. Joy! I can already tell I'm going to have so much fun with this new lifestyle. The worst part, of course, is that I'm going to have to keep all this magic stuff secret from them. Lie to them like everyone else has been lying to me. Still, I've got to look at this the best I can, I guess. We've kept up on the phone, so they know I haven't completely dropped off the face of the earth, but I think an afternoon in a normal environment, with relatively normal friends, and away from all of this magic stuff, would just be amazing right now. A normal Tuesday afternoon with my friends at the station, me being plain-old, boring Izumi. Just a few hours to pretend that nothing weird is going on, and maybe claim a little bit of normalcy. I can't wait.

Good night,

PS- Crap, I just said that, didn't I?

Author's Not - Mahousen is back! Sorry for the long delay, everyone! Next full chapter will be up in a couple days, and not in a year.