The Absence of Love

No one knows it, but they've had the luxury of love

Love is a foreign emotion no had ever shown me when I needed it

I was scarred at a young age by people who don't know the emotion and fake it to those they will ensnare in the future

Most people who go through what I did would kill themselves or cut into their wrists

The scarring was so long ago that is doesn't affect not, but is still these

I'm reminded of the emptiness of love every year on Valentine's Day

My parents were never a source of comfort or love my mom would simply laugh and my father never understood

It seems like now that people are starting to see the loneliness of my fake smiles

I see it in my eyes myself

No matter how I lie, I can't hide

My charade of fake happiness is ending

I've tried to confide in those who ask but they don't understand

I've tried hinting that all I want is to feel loved but those are ignored and all I get is pity

A worthless emotion that lets people live

So, I've given up on trying

In truth the only thing I really want is someone to confide to

Someone who will hold me when I cry (it is becoming more often, my walls are crumbling) and make the darkness that has enveloped me so many times vanish

Being cradled by darkness leads you to things you're too scared to attempt but those who do it can't stop, it becomes addiction

Even as I hide here and write no one notices my absence and my tears won't stay behind my eyes forever

Maybe the way I think of myself is why hide, here, and in within myself, and my writing

I'm always hiding from my friends comfort, and my frequent tears

I want to be as happy as other people

I don't want to cry by myself anymore

But no matter what,

I'm still alone