Even if towards the end these happy times that I now remember you by all but disappeared, the overall feeling that I felt that I had with you was not only one off happiness, but one of love. Even now my heart is still full of these emotions but a new one has been added into the mix, longing.
I know that when we broke of what we had it was for the best, but even though I know it would just end in disaster if we tried again I still long for you. I don't think there is a day that goes by without thoughts of you in my head and heart.
Obviously you thought differently considering the fact that you are apparently getting married. Looking at the invitation that now lies in my hands I don't really know what to feel. Suddenly I begin to cry, I try to stop myself but I can't. I feel betrayed, and even if it's a completely irrational feeling I can't help but feel it. Perhaps I feel it because I was never able to move on, even after years of being apart, my feelings for you burn just as brightly as the day when we first realized that we were in love. I will never really know when fell out of love with me, all that I know is that I've been left behind because I never felt out of love with you.
But underneath the grief sadness and anger that I feel right now there is an underlying emotion that is hard to put a name to. I finally realize what I was feeling and it when by the name of happiness. Happiness at the fact that the person I love and value more than anyone in the world has finally found someone to spend the rest of their days with. Someone to share smiles and laughter with. Someone to share the hard and troubling that all of us experience in our lives. Someone with which to share and receive happiness day in, and day out. And though it breaks my heart that in the end I could not be that someone I'm still happy for you and the bright future that is now waiting for you.
I rush to my backyard with the invitation in hand. I rip up the invitation into many little pieces and release them into the air. I watch as those pieces fly away with the wind. As I watched those pieces of paper fly away I made a conscious decision to move on with my life, to stop living in the past but to live in the present and look towards the future. Though forgetting the past that we shared is impossible I will try my best to stop living in a land filled with only memories and despair and instead live my life to the fullest and perhaps find someone to share a bit of happiness with just like you have. Though I may never see you again I will always thank you and remember you from the bottom of my heart for all the wonderful times we spent together.