i can't seem to think, you don't seem to
seem to, seam, seams tearing, ripping apart –
avoidance, don't look now i can't, i can't
running at a million miles per hour, kilometers,
i can't read this, still the metric system? my god, this
makes (no) sense, does it? why do i ask so many
pointless, redundant, rhetorical questions?
(because i don't want answers, i never wanted answers,
i just want things and those things don't, won't, don't,
this is gibberish because i know
the prying eyes chewing up my words, will they even
pry still? but they've tried, pried, and i don't know how
to say how i feel without feeling
badbadbadbad
bed, i need to go back to
bed, but fuck
i can hardly move, much less get home
much less feel
better.)

(even i don't understand what i'm saying, drawling, drooling,
spilling like a pitcher in an earthquake
and you can see it, can't you?
i mean, if you can hear it in my voice,
why not in my
words?)